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  1. #1
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    Default Accidental long term SAHM.... how do you maintain your sanity??

    Or in my case get it back?!?!

    Today was supposed to be a catch up on house stuff home day. Online groceries were to be delivered around 10. But NO they turn up at 8.20 when I'm not dressed and think I've 20mins to get ready take kids to school so all mega rush and spend baby's only nap time putting away groceries and packing up dishwasher/ having my coffee. Together me and my 9 month old have put away 2 loads of washing (yay for us), had lunch and I managed to make some muffins while making lunch. Thought I was doing pretty well, we've played a lot in and outside, but not gone anywhere. But now she won't nap and I look around the kitchen / lounge and it looks like I've done zip all day, toys are everywhere not made a dent in paperwork, haven't started or even planned dinner, not even put on a load of washing today.

    URGHHHH I keep reading up on peoples routines thinking I can do this I just need to get organised but my 9 month old literally follows me around clinging to my leg if I am not playing with her. I've put her in front of the TV now as I just need a mini break or I will end up getting cranky with her.

    Sigh. We are all healthy and not under financial stress it just feels like things should be better, it shouldn't be this hard?? But reality is I just can't keep up with it all. I'll have to leave this mess now and make kids snacks for their after school activities...

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi freyamum, I used to often do housework at night time once the kids were asleep. I had a very firm bedtime of 7.30. so I had time enough to clean the kitchen and maybe put one load into the washer. hung out then in the morning, and dry by the afternoon. I would vacuum at night, so the house started out tidy the next day. I also limited the amount of toys that came out each day. if there was already too many toys making a mess, then no more were allowed out or some had to be packed away. into boxes and put well away. I did some of these things often sometimes nothing at all, but I just wanted to encourage you. you are doing the greatest job on earth in raising your children, so don't stress about the other stuff. marie.

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    azelqra  (20-03-2015),Freyamum  (20-03-2015),GrabbyCrabby  (20-03-2015),pearlsandjandals  (20-03-2015),Sethysmum  (20-03-2015),Taiyed  (20-03-2015)

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    Thanks I do end up doing a fair bit in the evening but generally kids aren't in bed until 8.30 and with the baby still waking multiple times during the night I often haven't got the mental or physical energy to face housework... Maybe tomorrow will be better!

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    Big hugs xxx. What you are doing atm is really, really bloody hard! You need to go easy on yourself. I have been a SAHM for ten years this year and I can assure you there have been many days ( and weeks and months) where just getting through the day with the children alive, was taken as a win!

    I think that as mothers we place so much expectation on our shoulders - to have clean, well behaved children, spotless houses, gourmet meals on the table, Pinterest worthy lunch boxes when the reality for a great many of us is that most days it's a massive struggle!

    I know you say you aren't coping but the fact is that you are! Your kids are happy, healthy and loved. They have good on the table and a roof over their heads. You are doing an amazing job and I promise that as your youngest gets older and more independent you will find yourself able to do those other bits and pieces.

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    Things won't always be like this I do understand how you feel, I've been a single mum with 100% care of DD since day dot and she didn't sleep for the first 8 months of her life! But honestly, the housework can wait. Pick your battles. DD hasn't even napped since 18 months so I get zero breaks during the day. No partner to help out. It's all on me. So I figure I can be stressed or I can go easy on myself - which would you prefer? Near enough is good enough for me. I don't have a 'routine' as such, I've just resigned myself to the fact that life with a toddler is messy and chaotic so I do what I can when I can! A lot of stuff I leave until she's in bed. I'm constantly putting toys away during the day but I don't mind that because I don't like clutter. Is there someone in your life making you feel as though you need to live up to a certain standard, that you need to get a certain amount of things done each day? Because you don't, you're only human. Staying at home can be so draining, trust me I totally get it!!! when you have nothing going on other than what happens inside those four walls, little things seem like big things. But your 9 month old won't be clingy forever don't wish the time away, you don't want to look back on these days & think you were so stressed about housework.

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    Freyamum  (20-03-2015)

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    Big hugs! DS was exactly the same and I couldn't do anything. Definitely not good for the sanity. So the house was neglected and I made sure I rested whenever DS did. I had to really drop my expectations, which was extremely hard but it definitely fixed my sanity.

    I also tried to get out at least once a week, even if it was just a walk.

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    My suggestion is to pop your baby in a carrier and do your jobs. Or in their high chair as you cook dinner.

    When I had my two under 2yo. I had the toddler in the high chair and newborn in the carrier to do my cooking. Lots of slow cooker meals we ate those few months. Otherwise I used the play pen to contain the baby whilst I pottered around the house.

    It's easier when you combine jobs. I'd give the kids morning tea as I cooked dinner. That way they could snack on the veggies I was slicing up. Hang out the washing when the kids are playing outside etc.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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    Default Accidental long term SAHM.... how do you maintain your sanity??

    By no means do I have it all together, but a few things I do that may help...

    When you cook dinner, make extra for lunch next day or even easy dinner next night or put in containers to freeze for an easy dinner night.

    Robovac - my saviour! I put it on every day and just makes house feel so much cleaner.

    Do a big clean once a week with hubby's help. He does the vac/mopping and I do bathrooms/toilets, wiping everything and wash sheets etc. Doing it together takes less than an hour then we have the rest of the day.

    Put washing on when first get up then hang out after bfast while DS plays with pegs or his outdoor toys.

    I always have 'me time' when he has a nap. If I need to make snacks Etc I will do that and then have a rest.

    After DS is in bed I do a tidy up of his toys and wipe everything down etc.

    I only have 1 child though, so your workload would be a lot more than mine! Some days though it doesn't matter what tips you have, it just ain't gonna happen. It bugs me if I haven't gotten anything done or the house is a mess, but slowly starting to accept that some days will just be like that. Please don't be too hard on yourself x

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    We all try our best at our house its a mess but now that on Wednesday yipee I have an appt at the bulk billing doctor for sleep apnoea remedy fingers crossed I will feel human again. But as I am 34 weeks preggers and detest bending I have introduced the dds one aged 8 and one aged 4 to help with hanging out the washing and bringing in the clothes for a small pocket money reward I mean 30 or 40 cents a time!!!
    These small actions from my children do help but maybe we all react with guilt to a messy house is our partners or husbands coming home and thinking what did she do all day grrr!!!

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    Arrange for the online delivery at night when hubby will be there to help put it away.

    If an online grocery order arrives outside of the delivery window at a not so convenient time- ask them to come back.

    Put your clothes washing on when the kids go to bed at 7pmish. Then hang it out/put in dryer etc before you go to bed. That way you don't have to do anything with the clothes early in the morning rush hour.


 

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