the last time we spoke about it which was before xmas he wanted to have the three older kids one weekend per month, and 50/50 on school holidays. I didn't have a problem with that at the time. But he just makes no effort at all. Like I said in my op his 18mth old doesn't even know him. the ex having him would be like giving your child to a complete stranger. Dec was 5mths when I kicked the ex out. Dec even calls my bf dad, he was 8mths old when we met, so hes all hes ever known.
I just don't feel like that the ex should just be given whatever custody he wants in the mediation arrangement , maybe if he had made a bit of effort with his kids, yes . but not when he cant even be bothered to pick up the phone, even If it was to ask me how they were if he didn't want to talk to them himself.