hi, I'm a long time lurker but with what is going on with me at the moment I think I need the extra support. Sorry for the tremendously long post.
I'm 36 with PCOS. DH is perfectly healthy. We have done numerous IVF cycles and transfers over the past 2 years with no take home baby yet.
All my cycles have been freeze all due to risk of OHSS so I have only done frozen transfers.
IVF #1: 2 Day 5 blasts. 1 didn't survive thaw, FET #1- BFN
IVF #2: 1 Day 6 blast. Didn't survive thaw.
IVF #3 (with ICSI): 2 day 5 poor quality very early blasts. FET #2-3, both BFN
IVF #4: 5 day 5 blasts. FET #4-8. BFP - blighted ovum, BFN, BFP - unexplained miscarriage at 5 weeks, 2 BFNs
Tested for natural killer cells etc - everything came back normal
IVF #5 (with PGD): 2 day 6 blasts tested. 1 with trisomy 4. 1 normal. No transfer at that time.
IVF #6 (the back up cycle): 1 expanded day 6 blast on ice
FET #9 (with the PGD embryo): BFP! Levels looked amazing
11dp5dt - hcg 388, prog 29
14dp5dt - hcg 1712, prog 29
17dp5dt - hcg 6072, prog 36
Then on 18dp5dt, spotting quickly turned into bright red blood, quickly turned into dark red bleeding with blood clots over about 3 hours. Not super heavy and no pain or cramping. Absolutely devastated. No sleep and constant googling which is the worst thing ever.
19dp5dt - hcg 6337, prog 23. RE said not to lose hope yet, but come back in 3 days for another beta.
20-22dp5dt - just some spotting ranging from brown to pink, a couple of times a day. A small part of is PRAYING that it is somehow a miraculous vanishing identical twin and that one baby is still in there growing but I am preparing myself that tomorrow's beta will show a definite miscarriage.
It had been such a blissful week of amazing betas and thinking that this was finally the one. I find myself unable to contemplate going through another cycle, another 2WW, another potential BFP ending in a loss. I even said to DH on Friday during the bleeding scare that "I can't go through this again, I'm done".
We still have one frozen, and my RE had previously agreed that she would finally transfer TWO untested embryos so being a super optimist and very very organised I already had my back up plan ready during this recent 2WW which was to do another IVF cycle and transfer two back, including the one frozen one from IVF #6. But I'm just so devastated that I don't know if it is just time to let the dream go.
Do you have any recommendations for anything we haven't thought of yet that could increase my chances and help steel myself to try one more time? Or do you think we have just been unlucky...