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  1. #1
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    Default ON, OFF, ON, OFF- Make up your mind!

    Oh my god. My sister annoys the **** out of me!

    Her partner and her have been on/off the past 7 years- so, maybe every 6-12months the relationship status changes! It's so frustrating! This time round, my Mum said "that's it- you're either in, or your out" of the lease rental agreement. She said "she's out- she's back on with her partner and they're living together."

    So, we have a rental inspection this Thursday. I have my week planned. Tonight I’m cleaning my room and the back room which Bailey does his room and his homework. Tomorrow, it’s the bathroom and outside. Wednesday- it’s sweeping, mopping and vacuuming the entire house.

    I get a msg saying “staying at yours tonight. See you soon”. It’s not a freakin’ hotel. You can’t just book in whenever you god damn please! Sort your **** out and grow the %^&* up!

  2. #2
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    GrabbyCrabby is offline She is everything I need, that I never knew I wanted... She is everything I want, that I never knew I needed...
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    That'd do my head in. Will your Mum talk to her?

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    Do you live with your mum ? or is she going to yours, cos your mum put her foot down ? I would also put your foot down, you have a young child to consider, so your household turns upside when someone comes to stay. So I would say to her, you can stay on weekends, but midweek is out. Its a school night - grrr. Tell her to get her S***t together. Does she have kids ? or is it just her that comes to stay ?

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    Yes, she has 2 kids. They came with her. She has no job- she claims SPP depsite living with her partner while he receives money from insurance for a car accident, she's using my car atm because hers is broken and she doesn't have the money to fix it but she loses her license on Thursday so I'll be telling her that my car is to be returned Wednesday afternoon. She also asked to borrow $20 until Thursday. I was going to ask "what for?" but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Well, I find out that the kids had a lunch order yesterday.

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    Ok don't take offence because if I was talking to you in person it would be said with a hug but of course she expects you to drop everything for her because you do! She has your car, you gave her money and you let her stay...... I bet that's not it either!!


    I tell you this from experience- you are not helping her or her kids. Stop, just stop take back the keys, say no to everything and tell her you love her but she needs to grow up and figured it out for yourself. Hardest thing you will probably ever do (was for me) but my brother now has an awesome job, pays his rent and is grown up who doesn't rely on borrowed money anymore.... And he doesn't hate me!

    Xo

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    I don't mean to be blunt, but you are enabling your sisters behaviour.
    Nothing will change with her until she gets the wake up call she needs to grow up and become responsible.

    Best of luck with it all x

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    First off, that would drive me nuts, the back and forth and the inability to stand on her own two feet. The CL fraud would also make me cross.

    But, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way as I honestly don't mean it badly.... you are living with your mum as well. Nothing at all wrong with that, in fact these days it's often the only way to get ahead and get a deposit etc. But she is probably seeing you living with Mum with a husband and kids so doesn't see an issue with having Mum help her too.

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    Thanks guys.

    Firstly, I don't take offense. I appreciate you replying. I do see that we're not helping and we're enabling this behaviour. I never used to, I used to be really tough but Mum/Dad would step in and save the day at their own cost and then they would be stressed out, which in turn would stress me out even more. So, then I gave up. Sometimes- it's just too hard. I tried explaining this to Mum/Dad but they wouldn't see it, and then I'd look like a big meanie and than I'd get stressed out more than if I was to just give her what she wants.

    Also- I'm a single parent. Originally, Mum, my sister and I (and our kids) moved out together (when my Mum seperated from my Dad) with only Mum and myself on the lease due to the fact that my sister didn't have a job and is not an asset on a lease agreement.

    Mum and I pay half all expenses.

    And I suppose that's half the issue. Mum is Mum! And sometimes, kids just need their Mum and Mum never refuses- but because we live together, her responsibilities are essentially my responsibilities.

    And also- the CL Fraud really grates at me- esp seeing as I was/am a single parent. And I did claim the SPP but I worked full time, and studied part time. I worked my butt off. I've also got some personal issues going on at the moment and I kinda feel cheated.
    For medical reasons, I can't drive at the moment or play soccer. I kinda feel like I've done everything right. When DS needed speech therapy- we went to the best place, when he had to go to daycare so I could work- I found a really great one, I worked, I studied, I bought a caravan so we could spend more time together, I took medication when the dr said I had to and then things still $%^# up! It's so unfair! I did everything right!

    Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Wow- that turned into a bit of a vent. Sorry.
    Last edited by SimplyMum; 17-03-2015 at 09:00.

  10. #9
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    Vent away!!! It sucks being the sister who has to do it all and the other sibling just gets it all handed to them!! I hear you!!

    My Mum enabled my bro too!! She was slipping him money and it all just wasn't good. He had to hit rock bottom though. It was so hard and I really looked like a horrible cow but you need to sit your mum down and talk to her. Tell her how you see things and how you all need to get on the same page. She wants to borrow the car - she pays for it. Daily rental fee - upfront!!! She wants to stay the night - hotel charge! I get you want to protect your Mum so talk to her.

    Good luck x


 

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