@BecT I reckon the counsellor sounds like a good idea love. I have a lot of worry and anxiety about all of this so have toyed with the idea of seeing one myself - this is a dead set hard journey, no doubt about it.
The synarel is because I'm doing a long down regulation cycle, rather than antagonist. Basically, you start sniffing about a week before AF is due, and then you start jabbing while continuing the synarel until trigger day. The synarel suppresses the pituitary gland so your own hormone activity is minimised, allowing greater control of the cycle. It also stops you ovulating, so you don't need to take orgalutran. I did 2 antagonist cycles where I didn't respond well at all, so for our last one FS changed approach and did a long down reg. I responded waaay better so we're doing it again. It takes longer, and the synarel (otherwise known as sh!teral or angry spray in this house) is nasty, but I guess it just comes down to how people respond to the different drug combos? Anyway, hopefully it does the trick this time