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  1. #21
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    If DS says that "dinner is gross" our usual response is "when you cook dinner- than you can choose what's for dinner- in the mean time, sit down and eat".

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Nomsie View Post
    Yeah I wouldn't stand for that from my kids and neither would df. Just tonight ds1 said something like "you should just go and get a job and stop being so lazy mum". To me- water off a ducks back. If I could find a job I'd be there. But df thought it was rude for him to speak to his mother like that and wasn't shy about letting ds1 know that he needed to apologise!
    I demand a lot of respect from my own children but its no different to the kids I teach which is where I probably developed my intolerance for rubbish like that.
    Yes she may be just a kid but at 8 should certainly be treating you with more respect.
    I'm so jealous!! My biggest issue is dp thinks it's fine for them to speak to me like that. 'They are just kids. Who's got these perfect kids'.... This happened last night hence my thread curious to see what others think if I'm too hard or what? I just told dd she should be kind and polite to her mum who looks after her, carried her in her tummy for 9 months etc. her reaction was I shouldn't have had children then. dp thinks she can do no wrong. He clearly has no respect for me. My life officially sucks. How do I teach my kids to be kind and respect me when their own father sees me as a nothing

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zombie_eyes View Post
    My kids are very direct, very blunt, there is no filter, and they simply don't understand that kind of social politeness "but mummy, i was just telling the truth??"

    Its a tough one.
    My daughter is the exact same. It's not rudeness she really doesn't understand why it's inappropriate. She is extremely smart too and the top of her class. She is just very much a black and white type of person.

  5. #24
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    @Zombie_eyes

    One of our children's filter doesn't cut in as much as the others either. He also finds it very hard to take social cues or hold a secret and he strongly holds onto patterns of behaviour moreso. He may be on the spectrum. There has been many awkward social moments with this one.

    I truly miss people's honesty as they grow up.

  6. #25
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    Both my DD's, especially the oldest who is 6 always tells me my cooking is gross. I usually say in reply it's all there is so try and eat some you might be suprised.

    I feel that kind of thing is just a kid thing. I don't believe she'd say it to anyone elses cooking apart from mine and her fathers so I guess it's ok.

    I kniw I'm not a great cook either. I also don't like cooking, so I guess it shows.

    All my kids are generally good as gold in front of other people. Just cheeky to their mum and dad.

  7. #26
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    The gross comment wouldn't faze me too much, I would just encourage a different way to state the opinion.
    But saying I am just mum would crush me. I would be so upset and DF would have a few voice words for the children.

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    I think it's fine for kids to express themselves but it can be done politely. Our kids have really good manners and this wouldn't wash with me- if they really didn't like it I wouldn't force the issue- but I wouldn't allow them to speak to me or anyone rudely. What's wrong with "I'm sorry mum but I really don't like this, may I have something else?" Bad manners are a pet peeve of mine in kids- we've taught our lot that being polite is a way of showing a basic level of respect for other people (not just adults) Each family is different though, many place a much lesser value on such things.

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  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I'm so jealous!! My biggest issue is dp thinks it's fine for them to speak to me like that. 'They are just kids. Who's got these perfect kids'.... This happened last night hence my thread curious to see what others think if I'm too hard or what? I just told dd she should be kind and polite to her mum who looks after her, carried her in her tummy for 9 months etc. her reaction was I shouldn't have had children then. dp thinks she can do no wrong. He clearly has no respect for me. My life officially sucks. How do I teach my kids to be kind and respect me when their own father sees me as a nothing
    I'm sorry your dp doesn't seem to respect you or back you up.
    I would possibly just start trying to reinforce the good behaviour and call everyone (including dp) out on the bad. There have been some good gentle suggestions above, or you can just be direct like me. I think kids pick up a lot of this stuff from school too, which makes it harder. My boys will always say "that's what joe bloggs says" and my standard response is "I am not joe's mother but I am yours and I won't have you saying stuff like that. You're better than that. My children are kind and polite and I'd like you to remember that."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I'm so jealous!! My biggest issue is dp thinks it's fine for them to speak to me like that. 'They are just kids. Who's got these perfect kids'.... This happened last night hence my thread curious to see what others think if I'm too hard or what? I just told dd she should be kind and polite to her mum who looks after her, carried her in her tummy for 9 months etc. her reaction was I shouldn't have had children then. dp thinks she can do no wrong. He clearly has no respect for me. My life officially sucks. How do I teach my kids to be kind and respect me when their own father sees me as a nothing
    Mega Hugs.

    I agree he is your biggest problem. Please start calling him out on his behaviour and sit him down and really talk out how you feel so disrespect by him. Ask him if he would like it if his daughter was treated the way and your kids treat you.
    Can I ask does she speak to him like this too?

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  14. #30
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    My eldest is very honest (read:no filter, always embarrassingly so!). I would be offended and hurt by those comments. We discuss things we could say which are true (in the hopes of avoiding a potentially embarrassing situation in public haha). So, things that are positive like-I appreciate the effort you made cooking this meal, it looks very colourful/healthy, I like ingredient xyz...
    We talk about being greatful for food, the time spent preparing a meal and also considering what would be healthy and yummy to eat. Pretty sure their eyes glaze over most of the time, but its totally going to sink in at some point right?!
    If they are rude, like other pp's its a eat it or bed type arrangement. If they are polite they can make toast/yoghurt for themselves.


 

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