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  1. #1
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    Default Are your children rude to you?

    If you made dinner and your 8 year old thought it was gross and told you so, what would you say? I ignored, said something like fine don't eat it then, but she kept complaining and trying to put off ds aged 5. I tried to explain that it's not nice to tell your mum her food is gross but her reaction was "why not, you're just my mum?" Thoughts? Tip of the iceberg but DP thinks she's just a kid what's the big deal. I think we should be teaching them a bit of respect.

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    We don't serve up anything that we don't consider edible, therefore, they either eat it or go without. If they complain they don't pass go, don't collect $200 and go straight to bed.

    I think this has only happened to our eldest once when he didn't get his favourite meal. They generally like what we eat.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post
    We don't serve up anything that we don't consider edible, therefore, they either eat it or go without. If they complain they don't pass go, don't collect $200 and go straight to bed.

    I think this has only happened to our eldest once when he didn't get his favourite meal. They generally like what we eat.
    This most definitely!

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    Yeah I wouldn't stand for that from my kids and neither would df. Just tonight ds1 said something like "you should just go and get a job and stop being so lazy mum". To me- water off a ducks back. If I could find a job I'd be there. But df thought it was rude for him to speak to his mother like that and wasn't shy about letting ds1 know that he needed to apologise!
    I demand a lot of respect from my own children but its no different to the kids I teach which is where I probably developed my intolerance for rubbish like that.
    Yes she may be just a kid but at 8 should certainly be treating you with more respect.

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    I would say something like "if you don't like it (after trying it) you don't have to eat it, but it's rude to complain about it"

    I would be telling her the appropriate thing to say is "thanks for dinner mum, but I don't really like it". We do this with 3.5yo DD, she says thank you for dinner every night to the person who cooked (about half the time without prompting) and if she doesn't like it after trying it she just leaves it to the side. Of course she sometimes complains and whinges but we just keep repeating the appropriate behaviour. Hopefully it sinks in eventually!

    You know your DD best though, I think the attitude behind the behaviour is probably the most important thing.

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    The saying it's gross part would be ok; although I would use it as opportunity to talk about more polite things to do ie just say no thankyou, eat a bit that you do like etc.

    But the second part would be unacceptable to me. That's rude and an 8 year old would know that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post
    We don't serve up anything that we don't consider edible, therefore, they either eat it or go without. If they complain they don't pass go, don't collect $200 and go straight to bed.
    ^^ This.

    If my kids complain about what is served up to them they get given 2 choices - eat it or go to bed. DD (5yrs) always chooses to eat, DS (2yrs) normally chooses to go to bed.

    We also explain that it takes a lot of time and effort to cook dinner and that we (the parents) don't always like everything either but it is respectful and polite to eat it anyway with out complaining.

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    My kids can tell the don't like it but that it gross. We would have a long long conversation about the difference and how we deal with situation next time and if it happened at nanny's or a friends etc... The lecture in itself would be enough for most of kids.
    They certainly aren't allowed to be rude to me or dh.
    They still do everything now and than. It's important that they do try. It helps to reinforce that it not acceptable ever. It's all part the learning process.
    You get to choice which lesson she learns. Be rude to mum =get away with it. Next time I will push it a bit further

    Be rude mum = let's a long boring lecture . I will think hard be I push that button again.

    Be rude to mum= my world comes to a end. I won't do that again and why does she hate me.

    I try for the middle ground. But sometimes if it rude enough their all their electronic's goes away. So if plugs in or use batteries it become mine for anything from 1 hr to 1 month.

    Oh btw in our if nice about not liking it and it genuine and polite you may have fruit or veg mite sandwich instead. If your rude you go hungry.
    Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 11-03-2015 at 21:05.

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    It totally depends.

    Yes my child is rude to me at times ... I think that comes with the 8yr old attitude

    I do demand a lot of respect, and dont put up with it as its not ok.

    In my 'good moments' I will explain that it hurts my feelings as I have put in substantial effort to cook, and its not polite of her to demean my efforts. How would she like it if I put down and objected to something she had made at school ... etc

    In my harried/I-cant-deal-with-this moments, I either just let it go (too frustrated for the fight) or rant and rave like a lunatic

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    I think the hardest thing our kids find is if we are at someone else's house and they serve them up too big of a portion. We do step in when we think they've done their best and praise them on their politeness, encourage them to try new things (it's awkward when out and they have to eat things that weren't nice at all! We try and give them an 'out' in these circumstances...on the quiet of course)

    Our kids have their likes and dislikes and when serving up if I know someone isn't overly fond of a food I won't put as much of that food on their plate.

    They used to not like pumpkin, but I'd still give them a small portion each...now they ask if there's any extra pumpkin left over.


 

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