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  1. #11
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    So my boys are 6. In order to earn some technology time on the weekend (around 30 min in morning, 30 in the afternoon on both Sat and Sun) they have to do what they are asked when they are asked.
    We got home from school 30 mins ago and so far ds1 has cleaned all of dd's toys she had been playing with and scattered everywhere. ds2 has helped me sweep and pick up random things off the floor. In about 5 minutes I'm going to take them both into the bathroom and give them 'what for' for whoever it was not letting the bath water out last night. Went in to clean the bath today and found it still full. I thought 'bugger it- I'm not going to pull that plug- they can and then they can help me clean it and see what a PITA that is'.
    They are also asked to take rubbish out to the big bins, tidy their rooms, pick up the toys off the lawn and occasionally help put away clean dishes.
    They don't have a lot asked of them, but the rule is that they MUST do it when it is asked without complaining, otherwise no technology time.
    Would this work for you OP?

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    Freyamum  (10-03-2015)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    My paternal grandfather once called my mum and asked her to come over and make him a cup of tea cus his wife was out!
    Oh that gave me a chuckle, and the chuckles have been scarce lately


    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    My dd aged 8 says things like that to me - "you do it, it's your job". DP never calls her on this disrespect. The other day she complained that we had to go to the shops asking why I didn't do it while she's at school rather than sitting around all day!!! I have a 9 month old baby, but even if I didn't that is out of order. Another reason to get them involved and shake that spoilt attitude out of her!
    Ah no, this would break my heart.
    Doesn't she realise she's going to grow up in to a woman and how horrible would it be if she was treated this way.
    I'm pretty sure those words will come to haunt her in adult life but don't wait that long to hear her say sorry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    My dd aged 8 says things like that to me - "you do it, it's your job". DP never calls her on this disrespect. The other day she complained that we had to go to the shops asking why I didn't do it while she's at school rather than sitting around all day!!! I have a 9 month old baby, but even if I didn't that is out of order. Another reason to get them involved and shake that spoilt attitude out of her!
    OMG. I would have lost the plot big time.
    Her life would have changed from that moment on.

    In my house her part of the family jobs (chores that you do because you are part of family. Not for you like making a your bed something the benefits the family as a whole)

    I would really be focusing in on what being in a family means. Both the happy things, the help each other out. Responsibility of being family, and the looking out for each etc... maybe a family meeting setting down new responsiblitys for each member.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    My dd aged 8 says things like that to me - "you do it, it's your job". DP never calls her on this disrespect. The other day she complained that we had to go to the shops asking why I didn't do it while she's at school rather than sitting around all day!!! I have a 9 month old baby, but even if I didn't that is out of order. Another reason to get them involved and shake that spoilt attitude out of her!
    That's really sad. Where does she get that from? Does your partner speak to you this way?

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    I am yet to be a mum so in our house we are pretty equal. My husband and I share cooking, cleaning and washing. That will change I'm sure, but for now it works for us. I don't believe that any 'one' person should be responsible for managing the household, everyone should help out where they can. Age appropriate chores for your kids sounds like a great start.

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    I think it gets easier as your children get older. It begins to dawn on them that fairies don't come in and wash their clothes

    I reinforce the "you are part of a family" aspect and we work together to keep the household running. These days I use pocket money as motivation as well. They don't have set chores but they need to help out around the house. ..without moaning....when I ask them. So rubbish out, washing off line, dishwasher unpacked etc. We also have a tidy up/cleaning morning (an hour really) on the weekend. If they don't help or participate in doing everyday chores they don't get their pocket money.

    I still feel like a slave sometimes but things are so much better since implementing the above.


    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    I think it gets easier as your children get older. It begins to dawn on them that fairies don't come in and wash their clothes

    I reinforce the "you are part of a family" aspect and we work together to keep the household running. These days I use pocket money as motivation as well. They don't have set chores but they need to help out around the house. ..without moaning....when I ask them. So rubbish out, washing off line, dishwasher unpacked etc. We also have a tidy up/cleaning morning (an hour really) on the weekend. If they don't help or participate in doing everyday chores they don't get their pocket money.

    I still feel like a slave sometimes but things are so much better since implementing the above.


    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I'm trying to figure out the best way to introduce Saturday clean up hour. The reward would be taking turns to chose Sunday family activity. Sunday's tend to be free from parties, activities etc and right now miss bossy 8 rules - gets so stroppy if we don't do her thing. Going to talk to dp tonight about how we introduce. I want us all to have fair chance to chose an activity and get them involved in house stuff just making them a little bit aware of what is involved. If she refuses she never gets to pick simple as... But in my family won't be simple. Complicated by dp thinking dd can do no wrong that I'm too hard on her. She's very sensitive and needs so much attention and reassurance. But that's another novel!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmummahen View Post
    That's really sad. Where does she get that from? Does your partner speak to you this way?
    No but she's his little darling and his attitude is ignore her when she's rude. I'm reading about defiant children and unfortunately there is an element of me needing to ignore as I have blown up a lot in the past and that hasn't worked. I'm working on how I react to let her know those words aren't acceptable but not make a big hoo ha. It's hard!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I'm trying to figure out the best way to introduce Saturday clean up hour. The reward would be taking turns to chose Sunday family activity. Sunday's tend to be free from parties, activities etc and right now miss bossy 8 rules - gets so stroppy if we don't do her thing. Going to talk to dp tonight about how we introduce. I want us all to have fair chance to chose an activity and get them involved in house stuff just making them a little bit aware of what is involved. If she refuses she never gets to pick simple as... But in my family won't be simple. Complicated by dp thinking dd can do no wrong that I'm too hard on her. She's very sensitive and needs so much attention and reassurance. But that's another novel!!
    I hate to say this hun but if you don't stop this attitude now it going to get 1000 times worse in or so years when preteen hormone surge hits.

    I understand sensitive kids I have a few. Please don't let you stop getting her into helping out around the house. Talk to your dp about it not about being hard on her it about teaching responsibility, teaching her to be a strong independent young woman. This a great way to spend good quality time paying attention to her, teaching her, dancing with her while you show her you can have fun while cleaning. Turn it into a positive.

    I personally would link it to a reward as these are things you just have to do. Extra jobs that aren't her normal or her new normal responsibility that she choose to do of her own bat, go to town on the rewards.


 

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