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  1. #1
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    Default Advice on mental health issues (and a moment to feel sorry for myself)

    I haven't posted in Bub Hub for a while. I was posting in a TTC diary, but I have had to abandon that because my DH has some sort of mental health issues. Now I'm looking for advice. DH has episodes of not making sense and then afterwards saying he doesn't remember what happened. It often happens around other stressful events like exam time (he's studying part time). He's been to the GP several times at my insistence but always seems to come back with the same general advice to stress less and sleep more. Both of which he doesn't manage to do for very long.

    Without my DH getting any specialist advice, I don't feel like the issues are being addressed properly and are likely to be getting worse. What can I do? I feel like I'm been forced into watching him deteriorate while he ignores the issue.

    ... Also I need a place to get mad and feel sorry for myself too, so please let me vent, this next part is really just me being a b!tch... So my SIL announced last year that her and her DH were going to TTC their 3rd child this year at the same time me and my DH were also TTC our #3. I didn't share our decision, I felt that was private. Plus we struggled to conceive DS1, and I didn't want any extra pressure. I did conceive but had a M/C last year. Now with DH's mental health issues we've made the decision to stop TTC, which makes my heart ache. But I have to do what is best for the family I already have. Now, as feared, this week my SIL announced she is UTD. (5 weeks today, brave girl announcing it to everyone so early!) And I should be nearly 5 months pregnant by now. But I'm not. And I probably won't ever be again. And she is. And I hate her for it. I hate that I'll have to be happy for her, be around a pregnancy and be sympathetic to all the whinging about her sore back, her big boobs, her tough life... blah blah blah. Due to other unrelated family issues, I think she's a two faced gossip. And a lazy parent. And now she gets a baby and I don't. I hate her!!!!

    Ok, rant over... any help with my DH's mental health issues would be greatly appreciated. Please ignore my nastiness about my SIL.

  2. #2
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    I'd call your local hospital and see if they have any psych facilities to get him looked at, if they don't, they should be able to give you the number of someone that could come and do an assessment, I believe most places are covered my a mental health team that could help (dh is a psych nurse)
    Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out soon and there shouldn't be any reason you couldn't resume your ttc journey once your dh is well

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  4. #3
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    @Happy Camper firstly, it's always tough when someone else gets UTD easily if you struggle TTC, give yourself a break on that one, you're allowed to have feelings.

    On the mental health:

    1. Can you go to the GP with him and push for referral to a specialist?

    2. Can you call your local clinic and ask if any of the GPs there actually specialise in mental health? Not all do, in fact basic mental health training is pretty basic so perhaps find a different GP for DH to see.

    3. There are lots of online mental health resources your DH could try if he is into online stuff, try www.bigwhitewall.com it's an anonymous online community for people with mental health issues, where you can do a bunch of assessments and online therapies and counselling. It's UK based but you can just purchase an account for a few bucks a week I think.

    Sort of like beyond blue's Blue Boards but with more members and better anonymity.

    3. You could see a GP (that specialises in mental health) yourself, if hubby won't go again.

    4. Ask around, maybe on BUBHUB, for recommendations for good psychologists in your local area. Call one and ask if they can recommend a good GP who will do a K10 assessment and mental health treatment plan and can refer your husband (sort of like calling the destination and getting directions).

    Good luck!

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  6. #4
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    I would go to the GP with him if you can and if he will let you, so you can see what they are saying to him and you can let them know your own worries about him. It may not be mental health related, but some other health issue that needs to be sorted out. Has he had blood tests/scans or anything done?

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  8. #5
    AdornedWithCats's Avatar
    AdornedWithCats is online now Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    I used mycompass by the Black Dog Institute a few years ago as a trial when they were developing the program. Its great for stress & anxiety management as well as trying to manage other mental health issues. As far as I know its still free.

    https://m.mycompass.org.au/Login.aspx

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  10. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdornedWithCats View Post
    I used mycompass by the Black Dog Institute a few years ago as a trial when they were developing the program. Its great for stress & anxiety management as well as trying to manage other mental health issues. As far as I know its still free.

    https://m.mycompass.org.au/Login.aspx
    Thanks for the suggestion. I've checked it out. If you're honest, then I think it would be a great resource. But my DH just isn't being honest with himself about what is going on. Maybe one to help me cope!?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Camper View Post
    Thanks for the suggestion. I've checked it out. If you're honest, then I think it would be a great resource. But my DH just isn't being honest with himself about what is going on. Maybe one to help me cope!?
    It could help you cope with your SIL's pregnancy?

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