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  1. #1
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    Exclamation Violent 3 yr old - normal or alarm bells????

    My pre-schooler is very violent. When he gets in a state where there is no way to get through to him. He is possessive with toys, when children go near him he lashes out at them
    ( hits, punches,chases, pushes, hits of the face, hits on head) as I think he imagines he will take his toys. No is allowed in his space without some sort of repercussion.

    I am extra worried as violence runs in our family as both grandfathers and great grand fathers were violent and aggressive men. My son is over a meter tall and 17kg is he not small. Our home is a beautiful peaceful place my hubby and are calm and rarely raise out voices yet it doesn’t not take much for my pre-schoolers aggressive side to emerge many times a day whilst he is a child care, which he attends every day. he is the first one there every morning I need advice, I need a good book with techniques and suggestion and knowledge to help me understand why my child is doing this and what is he hoping to achieve.

    At this stage I do not want to seek professional help as I have done so in the past and it’s been a waste of money, everyone happy to chit chat and take my money without revealing any help or tips just telling me to come back again.

  2. #2
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    How are your sons verbal skills? Is he able to express when he is happy/sad etc?

  3. #3
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    I wondered about sight and hearing testing too, along with @VicPark suggestion. Could be adding to frustration if there's an issue there?

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    What do his childcare teachers say about his behaviour? Are they concerned. I've found my kids daycare teachers have been excellent to go to for advice if I'm ever concerned. They are always more than willing to help and provide a comparison between what my child is doing compared to the others.

  5. #5
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    They say he might be on spectrum they dont think it's ADD etc. he is not hyperactive. We had him assessed about 9 months ago. His vocab is good but I think receptive reasoning turns off when he is having a melt down. hearing is ok.

  6. #6
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    I should add the diagnosis was just a bunch of grey.. we will probably have to get him assessed again soon. But this aggression just started over night and it's been about 2 weeks now and it's pretty bad.

  7. #7
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    I am not happy with his diet. We try so hard. He will eat chicken or sausages, raw carrot, most fruits, spaghetti, bread, biscuits, yellow cheese and he still loves his bottle. that's about it.. he will eat mnm's and ice-cream if he could of course. Everything must be separate and clean, no sauces etc.

    he is possibly suffering from obstructive sleep apnea at night, we are investigating this now.

    I will add that he does not bounce of the walls, he is not hyperactive, he does not destroy our home, he plays quietly wit his toys and plays with meaning. They are very special to him and I think he feels very connected to his treasures (toys). he is an only child and at home he does not have to deal with anyone wanting to take his toys.

    However, no excuse! the aggression towards other children must stop and he must know he will not gain any power from being abusive.

  8. #8
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    he was expressing when he was sad, wanted something etc but at seems like lately he stopped trying and has resulted to just lashing out. This is his 6th week of full time child care and perhaps it's all too much from him. There are 20 kids in a small room and at least 2 of them cry and scream all day long I think it's affecting my son too as he is very quiet at home. I dont know... trying to find answers and hoping being on the spectrum is not one of them

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybloom View Post
    he was expressing when he was sad, wanted something etc but at seems like lately he stopped trying and has resulted to just lashing out. This is his 6th week of full time child care and perhaps it's all too much from him. There are 20 kids in a small room and at least 2 of them cry and scream all day long I think it's affecting my son too as he is very quiet at home. I dont know... trying to find answers and hoping being on the spectrum is not one of them
    I don't have any kids yet but I do think this is telling. If the day care environment is really stressful and he hasn't been going that long maybe he is just at the end of his tether. Might be a useless suggestion but is there any way you can reduce the time he spends there just a little until he's better able to cope? It would be weird going from being home alone where it's nice and quiet to a busy day care...

    Alternatively can the daycare offer him some more quiet options through the day so he doesn't get overwhelmed?

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to ScubaGal For This Useful Post:

    SuperGranny  (06-03-2015)

  11. #10
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    he has been going since he was 11 months old but it's always been 3 days a week. he was ok except they are understaffed with 2-3 teachers in a room of 20 kids, usual 2 teachers as one is on break etc.


 

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