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  1. #11
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    I'm in the same boat as well. I'm a single parent with no family. It is what it is though, you learn to adapt and deal with any situation over time.
    That's not to say it isn't tough, because it definitely can be. But i think as time goes by, it definitely get easier. The kids get older and start developing independence and the possibility of a life of your own starts to become attainable.

  2. #12
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    We fall into this catagory.

    I have no family here except my brothers ex wife.. My inlaws live 3 hours away and my dp's sister is 35-40hrs flight from here.

    I have really great friends who i know would help at any chance and they know i would do the same. It has taken a lot but i love the people i am around.

    Are you in adelaide? If yes i would be happy to help out

  3. #13
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    God those appointments with children in tow. I had my 20 week scan the day after we flew back from Singapore with no sleep as ds on wrong time zone so there's me, 7 yo and 5 yo in tiny room with no books or toys or iPad cus I just didn't think I was so jetlagged! I remember the sonographer looking at me and saying do you have someone with you this is an important exam! Little things like that get to me over the years, the need to plan every appointment, but I think in my situation its just harder now that this baby so out of step with friends. I have good friends they have just moved onto the next phase and I'm back changing nappies!
    Maybe we could share tips / ideas?

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by yadot View Post
    Also in the same boat.

    I find it really hard around Xmas, Easter when everyone gets together with their extended families etc.

    I also have 3 children. My oldest is at kinder and I can't seem to find the time to chat to all the mums that socialise outside afterward. It's so hard when you drop one off and you still have two with you. I feel like I can't get a word in edgeways with my 2 year old nagging at me and or my bub needs feeding/ changing.

    And would love a night out but how do you find someone you trust to leave your children with?
    So glad I'm not the only one with reservations about leaving my kids with strangers!! I keep saying we need to find a babysitter but I want someone I know I can trust. Having said that I have used occasional care in the past so I might give that a go or get a babysitter to help out but with me still around.

  5. #15
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    I feel you. My mum died when I was young, my dad and step mum are more invested in the grandchildren from my step mum's kids, my in laws are all loonies and no help at all. My sister is my saving grace, but I don't like to ask too much of her. She is single and childless and doesn't really know much about babies anyway. She does help with my oldest a lot though, which is so nice of her.

    it sucks

  6. #16
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    Im in the same boat...Now a single mum with 3 kids, and although XDH is around and helps when he can, I have them 95% of the time and I work part-time. My parents live interstate. I struggle to get everyday things done, esp as I have a toddler and 2 in upper Primary school.... so lots of after school sports etc. It really is a constant juggle and exhausting! I have recently started getting the older two to take some more responsibility around the house with chores, which has been a big help. We now have a cleaning morning each weekend. I have recently started meal planning, so I can just do one planned shop a week. Being a bit more organised has helped make my life easier. I have some good friends, particularly from the kids school, and we help each other when we can. This weekend I am going out to dinner and for the first time ever will leave the kids for a few hours with a babysitter....a friend's older daughter.... I cant wait!
    I think building a supportive social circle and being organised are the key to survival!

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  7. #17
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    So do any of you feel guilty that your kids don't see grandparents, cousins etc? I'm lucky at least my family are all living and loving and great just WE moved to Australia far away. I think what compounds my sadness (on bad days) is thinking how much my mum would love to spend time with my kids especially my 9 month old and how I'm denying them that relationship for a better life in Aus that isn't turning out that way if I'm honest but Irish economy still risky and Ireland is so damn wet for my outdoorsy kids!! I just want to transport all my family here!

  8. #18
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    Im also in the same boat my family are interstate and DF's family are generally pretty useless. Its hard and most of the time I feel really lonely and isolated.

    I don't feel guilt as such that my kids can't see their cousins etc. It does make sad that they miss out on that connection

  9. #19
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    I do feel really guilty. I had a great upbringing with my cousins/aunties/uncles around a lot. My eldest hasn't seen his cousins/aunt/uncle in 3 years and they've never met my youngest!
    I've also never met my niece.

    My kids only have one live grandparent which I really struggle with. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents growing up as well, and I hate that mine don't get to have the grandparent experience for more than 1 week a year

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dinky Doo View Post
    I do feel really guilty. I had a great upbringing with my cousins/aunties/uncles around a lot. My eldest hasn't seen his cousins/aunt/uncle in 3 years and they've never met my youngest!
    I've also never met my niece.

    My kids only have one live grandparent which I really struggle with. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents growing up as well, and I hate that mine don't get to have the grandparent experience for more than 1 week a year
    Me too! I had both my grandparents and was very close to my maternal grandmother. I literally grew up with my first cousins, closest in age was 6 months younger than me and we saw each other every week, even went to the same schools. DD1 has a cousin 6 months older than her who lives in the UK and to make things worse she's started saying she wants to move to England to be near her cousins (4 in UK, 2 in Ireland, 0 in Australia). This is despite the fact she is the most active outdoorsy girl, I guess she doesn't realise she'd be stuck inside so much. I guess social mobility comes at a price.
    Ok time to organise some conscience clearing playdates...


 

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