Thanks for the responses.

We have decided to keep him in. He has come along in leaps and bounds the last 4-6 weeks. at a time i expected him to regress slightly (holding my 16 day old currently) ds1 has suddenly gone from refusibg to takee himself to the toilet even for a wee without my supervision.......to taking humself for wee and poo.....AND wipes his own bum... "because I'm a big kindy boy. i can do it"

The assistant came to me today and commented on how he had made a point to remember to put his lunch box away...

i was meaning to speak to his teacher before the holidays but she was away the last week! I still want to observe him myself...

also... i have fixed the toilet accident issue and encorperated toilet to our morning drop off routine.