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  1. #1
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    Default Advice please.

    Firstly let me start by saying I'm not picking at anyone's choices in food or diet. I'm wanting some advice here but don't know quite how to explain this eloquently. My MIL is quite the health food fanatic and a fan of the paleo way of eating. That's her choice and I'm ok with that. What I'm not ok with is, her harping on at me constantly for the choices I make in food for myself and DS. She constantly insists that I should not be having dairy and excluding it from DS's diet where possible. She also insists I not give DS wheat products. Let me state that DS has no known allergies thus far that I'm aware of at almost 11 months of age. For instance, the other day I mentioned the lovely zucchini slice I made for DS and what a healthy recipe it was. Her response was 'Did you use coconut flour?' I replied that I had used wholemeal flour. She then began a rant about how I shouldn't be giving him gluten and even if you aren't allergic, you will end up allergic. Apparently this is how leaky gut starts and we end up with inflammation in the body etc etc. my eyes glazed over at this point. This consistent food ranting had been going since the day DS was born and she found out that I had given DS cows milk based formula before my milk came in.

    Now my point is that i believe your food products should be as organic and wholesome as possible but your food choices should be varied and sensible. I don't believe I should be excluding food groups or restricting food like that for an infant. I want my DS to grow up with healthy attitudes to all foods.

    This whole thing with MIL is driving me up the wall because she insists she is right because she works in a health food store and knows how to google (makes all of experts, right? )

    I don't know whether she is right and I should be paying more attention to what she is saying or if I am right in following my instinct on feeding DS and also, how to I find a way to diffuse this situation because I really feel like I'm going to just lose it one day. Sorry for the rant and loooong story but I needed to get this out and get some opinions please.

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    Did she follow the paleo diet with her own children?

    Are they allergic to anything or any health issue?

    Id smile and thank her for her great advice. Then she'd have no grip to keep on ranting.
    She sounds too full on to be argued with

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  4. #3
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    Default Advice please.

    You are your sons mother. You know what's best for him.
    I know it's hard but please don't let your MIL make you doubt yourself.

    I would say especially for a young kid if you don't feel comfortable cutting things out of his diet don't. Variety is the spice of life right?

    Just smile and nod. I would try to avoid getting into a discussion with her. And one day yeah you may snap but hopefully by then she'll get the message!



    ETA I would say she's fanatical. Personally I would prefer to give my son (9 months) as many food options and varietys as possible so he is open to these foods in the future. When he is older he's going to come across claims like these through media (and your MIL!) and at least at that stage he hasn't had a restricted diet and he can make his own (hopefully informed) decisions.
    Last edited by azelqra; 25-02-2015 at 08:39.

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    I think it's a bit much for her to be so pushy regarding what you and your DS are eating. You are the parent, and it's your choice what you eat.

    Some people get so passionate about what they eat and they think everyone is harming themselves by not eating exactly how they do. I think it's wonderful if a person feels good about their diet and feels that the way they eat benefits their health, but to constantly nit pick at others for not following the same diet as them? Well, it's really not their place.

    I feel that you are either going to have to politely explain to her that you would like her to lay off with the constant food advice as it's bothering you, or I believe one day you'll just snap.

    Sounds like you're taking a normal, healthy and rounded approach to food for your child. Don't let her make you doubt yourself. She sounds borderline fanatical.

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    Well she tells me she wishes she knew all the things she knows now about food so she could have fed her kids that way but her youngest is 31 so I'm guessing no, she didn't feed her kids that way. But she also didn't want me giving DS fruit, because of all the sugar. This woman is nuts but she is driving me around the twist.

    My DP tells me that when they were kids, a treat was a slice of lemon with some wait for it.... Honey on it for a sweet. Really??

    Gah. I guess I just want to know if she is fanatical or there is some good medicine behind her claims.

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    I'd just smile and nod and do some ambiguous "aha", "hmm", "ohh" just to placate her, then continue along your merry way choosing the diet that you believe right for your child.

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    The constant badgering about diet would drive me a bit crazy I think. If nodding and smiling hasn't worked (I guess you have tried this?!?) and you are happy with your decisions then I would probably be more direct/straightforward and say something like "I am comfortable in my choices around what to feed DS....we will have to agree to disagree and I would rather not discuss it with you". That being said, if you are actually wondering whether she may be right, then perhaps do some research of your own and if you want to discuss it further then bring it up with her.

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    I have tried placating her. I have tried engaging her in conversation about food to show her I care and I'm not just feeding him rubbish. I've tried everything but I find it very hard to directly say 'please stop' because I don't want to offend anyone. I'm stuck in this special kind of hell and to be honest, it's changing how I feel about DP.

    I've tried researching but it's such a hot topic with so much opposing evidence that it's hard to see the answer. I was hoping the very brainy ladies of the hub had knowledge about the issue to help clear up my view of the issue.

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    If its something you're super worried about, have a chat with your dr/see an actual nutritionist/(that other one that specialises in food that i can never remember the name of).
    Or google blood group diet and tell her to shhh and that shes doing it wrong by not eating to her blood group.

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    Well FWIW I really don't think it's safe to be omitting dairy from a young child's diet, without advice from a health professional. Maybe just tell her that you have asked your GP about your son's diet, and that the GP said he has a healthy balanced diet and not to change anything at this point in time.

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