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  1. #1
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    Default Is it important for a parent to play with a toddler?

    My daughter has just turned 2 and is very independent. When she plays, she will happily play alone for hours, putting her dolls to sleep, giving them bottles, playing with blocks and drawing / colouring in. I sometimes try to play with her, I ask "can I please hold your baby?" Or "can I draw with you?" And she always says no. I know that independent play is an important skill but I feel bad by not playing with her. I'm allowed to play with her outside, like pushing her on her bike or swing, and I spend a lot of time cuddling and reading to her at night, so we do spend a lot of time together. And she sometimes asks hubby to help her build blocks.

    So just wondering, should i be trying to find more activities that she'll let me join in with? Or should I just be happy that she prefers to play alone? She's away from us 4 days per week while we work so I'm a bit concerned that she might not be very attached to us.

    ETA - she plays happily with other kids in a neutral location but is terrible with sharing her own toys.

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    Lucky you!!!!! She sounds very balanced and attached..... I wouldn't worry at all.

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    Enjoy it while you can! DS was exactly the same but soon after he turned 3 I think he realised its more fun playing with someone else - he's still great at independent play now at 4 but he still likes DH or I to play as well - which is fun but I'm so over playing super heroes cause I'm always the bad guy!

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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    Lucky you!!!!! She sounds very balanced and attached..... I wouldn't worry at all.
    ^This!

    I wish DD was more like that. Especially with a 5 month old DS. It would give me a chance to sleep train him as I could trust her to play happily by herself and not disrupt us.

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    I would love my 4 year old to be like your DD. We have always tried to encourage independent play but she's always been really clingy. It's really hard work!

    I think you're really lucky!

    Eta. DD1 has always been like this. And even now she's 4 and we have DD2 and DS. Kindergarten starting has been a godsend!

    And I think the terrible at sharing toys is normal for her age. I would just keep encouraging her to share but pretty sure most kids go through that stage
    Last edited by yadot; 24-02-2015 at 08:34.

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    Totally normal all kids are different. Some want to be smothered and some don't. You just read their cues and go by what they tell you they want. Parental guilt is such a weird thing I get it it's a normal thing to feel but you just got to block it out because it's not helpful sometimes.

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    I feel the same guilt sometimes. My ds is only 16 months and he is like this. I am not even allowed to play with him outside. I am only here for food and cuddles according to him. I would get guilty because he allows me to be on my phone/watch tv and I thought I was neglecting him. I turned both off for two days and he ignored me! She obviously trusts you enough to know you won't disappear if she does her own thing

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    agree with everyone else

    all kids are different - some are ultra independant, others are ultra clingy.

    Teaching them imaginative and independant play is really important for school ... so if she is happy to do that now, that is fantastic.

    if you want to play with her ... suggest crafts, drawing, outside play or other games to play with her

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    I agree with everyone else, it's completely normal and don't feel bad about it. She seems like a happy, independent little girl. She may change as she gets older or she may just enjoy entertaining herself. DD4 (3 today) has always done her own thing and still does most of the time but the other times she has to have my undivided attention.

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    Both my girls are the same Although they enjoy playing together too. We play a bit, my girls love it when we all jump on the bed and wrestle (very carefully of course), but most of the time I'm told to go away I enjoy it because than I can get some time to wind down and do my own thing


 

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