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  1. #91
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    @BabyOB and @nvandmv, I would seriously consider letting them know in a nice (but not uncertain) way that because it is your first baby, you are not sure how you are going to feel (or what sort of birth you will have) that you'd prefer to contact people once you are ready to see people. I usually do an email/text/fb announcement with a "please no visitors until x" on it. Failing that tell the midwives that you are uncomfortable with visitors and to please not allow anyone in (that way you arent the 'bad guy'). Also it can be really daunting with in laws or others hanging around while you are trying to establish breastfeeding (if thats what you want to do) and it is important for you to be able to relax so your let down reflex can work well - hard to do 1st time with advice from well meaning (but not prefessionals in the field)... I have some other tried and true methods of keeping people away... The last thing I wanted was people around while I was having my blood loss checked, stiches/staples reviewed, suppository painkillers administered, looking and feeling like shiz and trying to establish bf.... I think if you explain some of these things to your partners they can encourage a visit a bit later or ensure any visit is SHORT.

    I also made it difficult for people by letting them know that if you hadnt been vaccinated against WC in the last 3 years, dont bother coming bc you will be turned away.

    Hope you can enjoy this very special time (between you, your partner and new baby) without unnecessary interference...

    Ps: other kids (and their diseases/colds/viruses) are probably one of the biggest risks to a newborn - i would be putting my foot down and making DH tell them so - its your baby and your responsibility to protect him/her - stuff what anyone else thinks, could you imagine if your bub died of a cold sore one of your rellies bought in - devo, esp after all the trouble (IVF etc) to get them here!)
    Last edited by KitiK; 06-03-2015 at 07:44.

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  3. #92
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    Pps:and I ALWAYS ask visitors to wash thier hands with the hospital disinfectant in the room before touching the baby!

    I know, I must sound like a nuerotic mumma bear, but these babies are mine and I will do everything in my power to protect them - most people understand and too bad if they dont. I never thought any of my babies would get sick, but alas, once they have been seriously unwell (as unlikely as it may seem to others at the time - mine caught measles) you are a bit more steadfast in what you will or will not allow without feeling bad. Babies immune systems are immature, it is unreasonable for adults to put them at unnecessary risk, even the most mild virus (runny nose) can be catastrophic to a newborn. I am sure I am not telling you anything you dont already know, i just really feel for new/1st time mums - trust your instincts and if you are uncomfortable, dont let it happen - just say something like, I dont feel comfortable with that just yet, or let me think about it...

    I had my MIL walk around our 5 acre block with my 1st baby when she was 6 weeks old. I was ropable. Dh had let me have a rest and was supposed to be looking after the baby, I got up and asked him where the baby was - i freaked, suffice to say nothing like that ever happened again.
    Last edited by KitiK; 06-03-2015 at 08:03.

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  5. #93
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    That certainly outlays all my concerns @KitiK. His family are almost impossible. 9hrs distance is not enough but I won't be putting things in any uncertain terms, that's for sure! I'm happy to be the over protective crazy psycho mum. But some back-up wouldn't go astray! Thank you for some good pointers too! Very much appreciated x

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  7. #94
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    Getting the midwives to help back the visitors off is a good tip. They'll have no qualms telling people you can't have visitors.

    I was also thinking of talking thru a plan with the immediate family before the birth so they know we will let them know when he is born and that we probably won't want visitors right away so to wait for that invitation - that way they don't get jump in a car the moment the Bub is born.

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  9. #95
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    Well my parents will be here in 13 days... But since the rest of my family is in the USA and DHs doesn't have much I don't think I have to worry to much about it al, of this... And since we are taking baby on tour, when flying down to Brisbane for the baptism we will get everything out at one time... And then home again...

    My parents are staying for 3 months... So it's going to be hard but I think the support might be needed, just hope DH and my mom get along okay... My mom can be, what's the word I am looking for, bossy, demanding, a *****, rude, selfish...

    So we will see.

    Anyway... Good luck to everyone

    Congrats @canuck28 --- such a cute little man...

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  11. #96
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    @BabyOB we might have to get together just to get away from family 😜

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  13. #97
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    Hello.. Random poster so you can tell me to bugger off also but has anyone considered just not telling people the day Bub is born?

    I had friends who didn't tell us they had a baby for two weeks as she had breathing issues and they just wanted privacy.

    Surely its just you and your DH that will have the knowledge you've had the baby until you send 'the txt' out.. Maybe don't tell people till you've left the hospital and had a few days at home?


    Me 33 PCOS
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    TTC#1 since Oct 2012
    Clomid #1- 50mg 11/11/13 - No ovulation πŸ˜”
    Clomid #2- 100mg 26/12/13 - Ovulated yay!! - BFN
    TTC Break over
    Nurses appt 27th June
    ICSI #1 July '14 - 'Freeze All' / 18 Frosties
    FET #1 Oct '14 - BFP - praying the little angel stays around to meet us xxx

  14. #98
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    @amiracle4me, thats ok if you can, but I am having a c sec and need to have someome to watch the other 2 kids while that goes on, so no such luck in keeping the date to myself. I guess it depends on everyones circumstances, if I had the chance Id do exactly that

  15. #99
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    Hi @KitiK - bummer.. Sorry to hear! I guess it's where a bit of mamma bear tough love has to come in. People will understand. All the best with the delivery


    Me 33 PCOS
    DH 38 Low Morphology πŸ˜”
    TTC#1 since Oct 2012
    Clomid #1- 50mg 11/11/13 - No ovulation πŸ˜”
    Clomid #2- 100mg 26/12/13 - Ovulated yay!! - BFN
    TTC Break over
    Nurses appt 27th June
    ICSI #1 July '14 - 'Freeze All' / 18 Frosties
    FET #1 Oct '14 - BFP - praying the little angel stays around to meet us xxx

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  17. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Hello.. Random poster so you can tell me to bugger off also but has anyone considered just not telling people the day Bub is born?

    I had friends who didn't tell us they had a baby for two weeks as she had breathing issues and they just wanted privacy.

    Surely its just you and your DH that will have the knowledge you've had the baby until you send 'the txt' out.. Maybe don't tell people till you've left the hospital and had a few days at home?


    Me 33 PCOS
    DH 38 Low Morphology πŸ˜”
    TTC#1 since Oct 2012
    Clomid #1- 50mg 11/11/13 - No ovulation πŸ˜”
    Clomid #2- 100mg 26/12/13 - Ovulated yay!! - BFN
    TTC Break over
    Nurses appt 27th June
    ICSI #1 July '14 - 'Freeze All' / 18 Frosties
    FET #1 Oct '14 - BFP - praying the little angel stays around to meet us xxx
    That's actually a pretty good idea I reckon. For us tho we will need some people organised to mind the dogs and I doubt they'll be able to avoid sending out a general broadcast. When DHs brother came out late last year his dad had put it on Facebook by the next morning. Major Facepalm. 😧

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ScubaGal For This Useful Post:

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