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  1. #971
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    @leyshoja Jesus, Mary and Joseph!! The pair of them sound like sociopathic psycho's!! Those poor kids You're under no obligation to feel empathy for either of them as as far as I'm concerned. God knows, I wouldn't!! You reap what you sow sometimes in this life although I'm not a big believer in negative emotions causing cancer outright on it's own.

    For sure, I believe it can make you ill and exacerbate what's already underlying etc, so in that regard, I'm not surprised it's everywhere in him. Whatev's....you lucked out bigtime in the end Girlie, nabbing a man with no real baggage to speak of whatsoever!! I would've held onto him too!!!

    Boo!! for no squinter today Still early days for both of you Lovelies, so am the "Easter BFP Bunny" drops a double lined FRER into your basket tomorrow morn preferably

    And yours too @Bongley @Leisylou!!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 04-04-2015 at 09:42.

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  3. #972
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    Well BFN and no AF here today. Waiting, waiting for something to happen!

    Last night went OK, I didn't have to have too much to do with the ex, thank goodness, it was actually harder on DH than on me.

    My DH is big guy, half Maori and looks very tough, but is a marshmallow inside. He wanted a really big family, and his first wife promised him the world, but after having one child (she already had a baby when they got together), she said, sorry, I lied, I'm done I don't want more children. Then she had a long term affair and gambled away all their money. Lovely woman.

    Then when DH finally left (after about ten years) within three months (!) totally on the rebound he hooks up with a woman who is in her late thirties and wants a baby (she had one daughter). Because he was so wanting to have a big family, he just went with it. Turns out she didn't want him at all, just a sperm donor, so once she was pregnant, my DH was superfluous (except for his money of course). So after years of no affection and no sex, he ended up leaving when DSS was about 3.

    So the poor thing has been totally screwed over and even though he is the most awesome Dad in the world and a complete natural with kids and would have six if he could, he's been stuck being a part-time Dad because his relationships sucked.

    Last night was really hard - we were kind of on the outer of the group as the ex was the more involved one in the night, and at one point DH went to the toilet and bumped into his son being taken to the loo by his big sister's boyfriend (21 y.o.) - DH was devastated. He was so upset that his son is being "parented" by other people and not him - he felt he should be the one taking his boy to the loo, and this guy who he doesn't know at all, is with his son much more than he is (the boyfriend lives with DSS's big sister and bio-Mum). He was almost in tears about it all. And DSS never knows how to act when both parents are around, he feels like he's not allowed to interact with his Dad, so DH feels a bit rejected anyway.

    So all in all I was fine (a couple of wines helped!), but poor DH copped it worse, emotionally than I did. Geez I wish I could give this man a child or six and have him raise them to adulthood as a full time Dad. As far as exes go, his is pretty fine and quite civil, but she is very indulgent parent, whereas we have strong boundaries, so we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but nothing too serious.

    Wow @leyshoja you sound like you had the psycho from hell! Far out, no wonder you wanted a man with no baggage after that! And @BlondeinBrisvegas it is hard for the poor Dad's who try and keep the peace as much as possible and sacrifice their relationships with the kids in the doing of that. My DH has a rocky relationship with his eldest who is 21.

    Goodness I hope there's some BFPs coming so we can all create some healthy, happy and whole families with our beloved men
    Last edited by Summer; 04-04-2015 at 09:51.

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  5. #973
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    Quote Originally Posted by leyshoja View Post
    Hang in there @Bongley...
    Crinone is starting to turn pink : /

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  7. #974
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    @Leisylou You're still in with a chance Luv!! Lord, your poor DP has been put through the wringer in the past hasn't he?? Desperation (b*tch number 2) can make us act right out of character with common sense going right out the window!! Often ends in poor choices being made not that DSS being born will ever be a "poor choice" Luv, don't get me wrong...She was the poor choice!!

    Looks like 3rd time was the charm for him in meeting/falling in love with you!! He may not have met you if he hadn't of gone through those experiences or made certain choices, so in that regard I'm sure he would agree it was worth it. The kids are another story aren't they?? Poor DSS sounds like he was feeling torn about who his loyalties should lie with in that scenario I guess all you both can do is help him to understand he doesn't need to feel that way or to "choose" between his mum and dad/you and that you all love him very much and know it's hard for him too sometimes, but that you understand and it's ok to feel that way or to feel confused and if he wants to come and talk to you/his dad about how he feels he can anytime and that nothing will ever stop you both from loving him etc.

    The older one is probably a bit harder for your DP to try to bridge the gap with, but he could come around once he's older and more emotionally mature etc and has a few more life experiences. he does Does your DP get much access to your DSS? It sounds as though it's pretty limited and if it is, can he get more?? Not sure how old your DSS is?? The only saving grace is that kids grow up and soon enough your DSS will be old enough to start making more of his own decisions about things like spending more time with both of you and if the Ex is reluctant to do that, he'll only end up resenting her in the end. I've seen it happen.

    Anyhoo, glad the vino's took the edge off for you Luv Am still you'll get a BFP this month, but if not, you've got your Plan B in place so can get right onto it!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 04-04-2015 at 10:11.

  8. #975
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    @Bongley Righto, back up the "Cottage Cheese" truck now!! It could just be irritation to the cervix or maybe an implantation/breakthrough stain/spotting mixed in with the Crinone??? I'm going with either of those scenario's for a squinter tomorrow!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 04-04-2015 at 11:12.

  9. #976
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bongley View Post
    Crinone is starting to turn pink : /
    No no no.

  10. #977
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    Come on @leyshoja

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  12. #978
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    Thanks so much BIB!!

    Yep, DH knows he made a poor choice in partner #2 and of course he got his gorgeous DS out of the relationship, so no regrets there, but he does wish he had his head a bit straight before jumping into that one!

    And yes, without those experiences (I had my share of crap relationships) maybe we wouldn't appreciate each other the way we do now. We don't take each other for granted and have an incredible relationship.

    DSS is eight and we have him every weekend, one weekend he comes Friday night, the next Sat afternoon and we have him half the school holidays. He is a good kid but very loyal to his Mum, which is understandable, but I think she says nasty stuff about DH which is a shame because DH never says a bad word about her in front of him. He's a good man.

    We do talk to DSS about it being OK to love more than one person and I've spoken to him quite a bit about how his Mum will always come first, but he's allowed to like me and that doesn't take anything away from how much he loves his Mum. We've talked about how hearts can carry huge amounts of love and they just get bigger with more love. So we try and make it as easy as possible for him, and encourage him to call his Mum when he's with us for holidays etc.

    DH wants to try for 50/50 week about custody, but there's a lot to discuss with that - especially as we've just made the decision to move about 40 minutes away. So that would make school runs quite difficult, especially with after school activities etc. So I don't think that is a real option right now, but we may come up with some idea to get DH a little more access.

    I said last night to DH that his turn will come. DSS is only eight and there will come a time when he will rebel against the stifling mothering that he gets now, and he'll need his Dad more. The important thing is that DSS knows that we are there for him, like last night, it was uncomfortable, but we were both there and he knows that. We're about to have him for a week now, so we'll be able to talk about his feelings a bit and make sure he's settled again.

    @Bongley, hoping against hope it's just cervix irritation.. I've had that and started using the pessaries as suppositories instead and it went away. So stressful hon :-( Good luck.
    Last edited by Summer; 04-04-2015 at 10:31.

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  14. #979
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    Default IVF over 40 #12

    @Leisylou I feel for you. It can turn nasty so easily too. She may go ape over the 50/50 thing especially if he's paying child support as 50/50 means he doesn't have to pay (or at least it used to before they changed all the calculations). I'm sure you'll figure something out to make it better for him. @Bongley, maybe you should switch to putting the crinone in 'the other way'. Much less messy in my opinion and if it's irritation then you'll sort it out? I've always done that with the pessaries and crinone as I can't stand the yuk discharge. My fingers are crossed for you !

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  16. #980
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    Ladies I feel for you, especially Leisy, Leyshoja, Blonde, with the ex's and dramas surrounding kids from previous marriages. Any of us that meet someone in our late 30's could be faced with that. It's great Leyshoja that your DP is minus baggage. Same with my DH. Mind you I had plenty of relationships with a'holes previously.

    Winsor hope you are feeling well enough for a few Easter eggs!

    Sad not to be seeing BFP's yet Bongley and Leyshoja!

    Don't like it when the crinone turns pick. Certainly when it turns brown it can just be the cervix being irritated.

    I'm not on any luteal support this time as my natural progesterone went high enough on it's own. So if this is a BFN I'm gonna know well before testing day as af will turn up unhindered.

    Happy Easter!

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