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  1. #351
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    Default IVF over 40 #12

    Tuxcat, have you thought about the other ways you can have children in your lives.

    We will foster if the Ivf doesn't work out. When I see my kids playing, I think that's what it's about. Kids are so full of joy. And there are so many poor children who need a loving home and caring people in their lives. Sadly it's on the increase.

    It is not the same as your own, but if it doesn't work out, it may be a way to heal the heartbreak.

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  3. #352
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    thanks guys.

    Luckyme1 - I dont to be honest think we could go through more uncertainty and a new bunch of "processes" to have a child. At the moment Im considering donor eggs, but I guess Im only throwing the concept around in my head at the moment.

    For me, its really about going through the pregnancy and birth of a child that I think I long for, and having one that is ours, a product of us as a couple. I know that comes in lots of forms, but I feel that for us, this has taken away nearly 5 years of our lives and when I should have been enjoying the last of my 30's I was instead going through cr*ppy infertility and pregnancy losses and the uncertainty about whether it would ever happen. I know lots of people have it worse, but I guess what Im saying is that I don't want to spend another 5 years or so trying some other other way of having a child. I don't think we are cut out for fostering and adoption seems too long and hard.

    I have to admit the DE thing has given me some hope, DH isn't there with it yet (and neither am I totally) but I think if I really want it to happen he will go with it too. I guess the thought of having a pregnancy actually work for once is quite tempting, and I know that it may not be as easy as that but it sure does seem somewhat easier than continuing down the same path. I haven't given up on my own eggs yet tho. But perhaps the end of this year might be a ballpark to work with. Don't know. Lets hope we don't get to that!!!

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  5. #353
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    That's really understandable Tuxcat. Every body has their own reasons for kids and one only has so much room for processes and agencies in their life.

    DE sounds like a good back up plan. It's not for us, because of the cost and so much more stress and procedures involved and it would be so much stress on the family.

    Fingers crossed that theirs one magic eggy in their for you. Ivf is advancing all the time.

  6. #354
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuxcat View Post
    thanks guys.

    Luckyme1 - I dont to be honest think we could go through more uncertainty and a new bunch of "processes" to have a child. At the moment Im considering donor eggs, but I guess Im only throwing the concept around in my head at the moment.

    For me, its really about going through the pregnancy and birth of a child that I think I long for, and having one that is ours, a product of us as a couple. I know that comes in lots of forms, but I feel that for us, this has taken away nearly 5 years of our lives and when I should have been enjoying the last of my 30's I was instead going through cr*ppy infertility and pregnancy losses and the uncertainty about whether it would ever happen. I know lots of people have it worse, but I guess what Im saying is that I don't want to spend another 5 years or so trying some other other way of having a child. I don't think we are cut out for fostering and adoption seems too long and hard.

    I have to admit the DE thing has given me some hope, DH isn't there with it yet (and neither am I totally) but I think if I really want it to happen he will go with it too. I guess the thought of having a pregnancy actually work for once is quite tempting, and I know that it may not be as easy as that but it sure does seem somewhat easier than continuing down the same path. I haven't given up on my own eggs yet tho. But perhaps the end of this year might be a ballpark to work with. Don't know. Lets hope we don't get to that!!!
    Oh @tuxcat we seem like we are at a similar point although you have been through a lot longer journey, and gone through a lot more than I have. I'm coming up to two years of actively TTC with three miscarriages in that time (with one previous one). Because I fell preganant the first time we tried, I really truly believed that it would happen for us. Now I'm so upset that out of the three years I've been with my gorgeous husband, we've lost two of those years that should have been the happiest of our lives, in grief and heartbreak - and we can never get that time back... Five years is a long time, I can't imagine how hard that is.

    I'm starting to believe that it won't happen for us and I haven't even done a proper IVF cycle yet, but with my age, our chances are very low. I think if I can get up the guts to do a full cycle I will because I want to exhaust all options for having our own bubba and never look back with regret, but doing the assisted ovulation last month was so horrific I'm not certain I can go there yet.

    If it doesn't work for us, then we are considering DE in South Africa later this year. I am desperate to have a child with my DH, the joining of us manifest in a child, a symbol of our love for each other, so it breaks my heart to think that will never happen. So I definitely have issues to get over about never having my own biological child if we go the DE path - but at least with that path we are more likely to have a child and I get to fulfill the part of me that wants to be pregnant and grow a life within me.

    Wish I could give you a big hug, this is hard
    Last edited by Summer; 14-03-2015 at 20:03.

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  8. #355
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    thanks so much leisylou. When we first started TTC I also got pg naturally twice in the space of 8 months so i too thought it would happen, and so did our FS. So I know how that feels. And yes, missing out on your own biological child is hard, probably something that needs to be worked through with a Counsellor.

    Sending you big hugs too!

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  10. #356
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    Tuxcat I can relate to how you're feeling with the realisation that it may never happen. That first hit me after our third cycle failed. It's an awful feeling. I went into ivf with the belief it would work within four cycles. I conceived naturally once after our first cycle as well which I thought was promising. But apparently not.
    And I also get you regarding the fostering, adoption thing, that's another long wait with so many hurdles as well. We would love to adopt an orphan from overseas but the prospect of going through years of waiting after already enduring ivf is something I can't face at the moment. So from your siggy, you've been through 7 stim cycles and 2 FET's? And now you're switching to a new FS? I'm also contemplating a switch, it seems like a good idea at this point.

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  12. #357
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    Skyler yeah thats right. I figure a new set of eyes on our cycles etc and a new open mind about what might help can't be a bad thing. I fear its just a numbers game and theres not much more anyone can do but Im open to suggestions!!

    I guess I don't count the 3 cycles that were cancelled/nothing to transfer and the slow embryo so in my mind its more like 5 cycles with 1 BFP in there. Altho I know just having a BFP isn't quite a positive story. We'll see what she says tomorrow and then perhaps take some time to digest it and decide where to go from there.

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  14. #358
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    It's always reassuring to me to know that there's a bunch of other people that have the exact same feelings, questions, uncertanties and doubts through this crappy process. I too fell pregnant easily and early into the process, second go, and I always just thought I'd decide to start the ivf and be UTD before I knew it. I'm still shocked that it's been this hard ! At this point, having had to stop wasting time on my own eggs, I would have been happy to adopt a baby from a poor country, but they just make the process so hard. I'm starting to feel like these donor eggs are not going to get me there and I too will be looking at South Africa before the end of the year. Still 3 to go, but I just have a feeling that when we grow them out to 5 days, there will be nothing left. The negative attitude has always worked for me though as it allows me to prepare for the worst and be pleasantly surprised when it goes better than expected. Disappointment is not my friend.

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  16. #359
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    Here's us being clowns last night (well DP was the ringmaster) lol
    ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1426377168.742225.jpg

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  18. #360
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    What a cute couple leyshoja!! hope you had a fun night!

    I hear you about the negative defence system in place, it does help. So your donor is Australian?

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