@Chiefsgirl Oh, damn it all to Hell FFS's!!! Words can't convey just how very, very sorry I am for both you and your DH I was so sure you'd get at least one, if not 2 You both must feel so devastated and absolutely heartbroken to say the least.
Leisylou and the other Girls have summed it up well, there's nothing I, nor anyone else can say that's going to take away the pain and the hurt at this moment in time, but we're all here to support you and sending much love and healing vibes both of your way.
My heart aches for the both of you, it's just so fkng unfair!!! You couldn't have tried any harder Luv than you have. You've both done everything you can do.... not that knowing this gives any kind of comfort at all at this point...You're heart is breaking and you both are grieving a huge loss for that's what this is
Thinking of you both Luv and am here at any time for anything you need
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Thanks ladies, it's been a hard day, but I think I'm coming through ok now. My DH has been wonderful, sitting on the couch with me through some trash TV (top chef, idol . . . . I did change it up and watch the transformers movie for him) and he's now in the kitchen cooking dinner while I watch the rugby (the Chiefs are playing tonight). Complete with my own movie moment when he heard me crying in the shower and came in to hug me fully clothed and got saturated! He is a gem.
He is completely open to de so I guess I now need to start researching. I know my FS has affiliations with a clinic in the U.S. But he did say it was around $25k which I think we could get two trips to SA for that, so need to weigh things up.
Thanks so much for your support it means the world. I'll still be here cheering you all on, I won't disappear!
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Sorry ladies for no replies. Worked ridiculous hours on Thursday and bit of Fri and than straight to family gathering for the rest of it.
Catching up on 9 pages of posts!!!
@winsor glad you are doing ok. Concentrate on getting fully recovered from yr op. You will get back on cycle after that. When i had my appendix done (mind you very looong time back) i got my AF while in hospital too. Apparently something to do with stress in abnominal area or something. You will be swollen and sore for a bit. And i can tell you it will hurt like hell if you sneeze! You poor thing. It will only get better from here.
@Skyler it is nerve-wracking but there is always a chance. Fingers crossed my dear!
@Leisylou these festive gathering are absolute nightmare for "ladies in waiting". Ex's, cousins, kids, preggers.... Your DH sounds lovely and it must be heartbreaking for you. But keep it up I'm sure it will happen for you too.
@Chiefsgirl i don't know what to say... im so so sorry. Not sure why i thought this one will we'd work. It just looked so promising.
Last edited by MaxKat; 04-04-2015 at 18:02.
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@Chiefsgirl your post has me in tears. Your DH sounds like a complete gem, what a beautiful thing to do. I think its a process, you day by day or week by week perhaps come a little closer to the next stage and sometimes it doesn't feel like you've come very far until you look back a few months down the track. To be honest with you, I think this is going to be us in a few months, maybe sooner maybe later, but Ive started processing the DE thing and to me at this point, its actually now starting to seem the attractive option. We won't be doing PGD so we will just be blindly transferring embryos that very possibly will be all abnormal too, and just drawing this whole thing out longer than its already gone. No one here is lucky to be here, but I guess what Im trying to say is that having one very big door close but a new one just needing to be opened is maybe some kind of saviour in all of this incredibly hard sh!t.
I will be starting to look into the DE thing very soon too, so will be really interested in hearing about the next part of your journey.
Peace and love
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Just dropping in to send some love to you ladies. @Bongley, @leyshoja and @Leisylou, still hoping for Easter miracles for you. @Skyler, sorry your transfer was so hard for you lovely, I hope you're feeling calmer now and enjoying your holiday. I just have a positive vibe about that embie of yours, and of course I have magical powers of perception etc ;-) @Chiefsgirl I'm so sorry about your results.So heartbreaking for you..It's lovely to hear you talking positively about de though. I've been following an IF blog for a little while that I think is pretty wonderful. After 4 yrs of infertility the lovely writer, Maya, very recently gave birth to her baby daughter, who started life as a donated embryo...and she is so divine, and she wouldn't be here if not for that leap of faith her parents made. Pretty amazing stuff when you think about it.
Anyway, sending love and strength to you all. And @Blonde - you're so gorgeous and so ridiculously wise I'm firmly in the 'what she said club' too xx
Chiefsgirl, so glad you have a wonderful supportive partner. It's moments like this that test your relationship and you know he will be by your side through it all and your life will be blessed for that.
I'm friends with a lovely lady who's daughter is born through a donated egg and you really could not think she is any less of a wonderful devoted mother who had a beautiful relationship with her daughter.
I'm also friends with a foster mother and even their maternal bond is special and loving and wonderful to see, she does no different in parenting to me.
What I'm trying to say is it takes all types to be a parent and the love from the child and you comes from knowing you will always be there and you just love them because.
But take time to grieve your terrible loss, you did everything you possibly could. We're here to support you on your journey. Hugs
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Chiefsgirl.... oh I'm so so sorry. I too had tears reading it, knowing full well how I felt when I've been through similar dreadful moments. Take time to console yourself, and plan a new journey. Your DH sounds lovely and supportive, just like mine. Will be thinking of you xx
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Fingerscrossd11 #8 DP mild NK cells
Ertgirl #5 considering DE SA
SpringRain #11 (? frosties)
Chillout71 #? last trying using OE, then overseas DE
Faithandhopelove - #6
Miss Da #3 last try using OE, then perhaps friend's DE Emski #9 DE SA FET 2x5dt ?/6/15 Leisylou #2 Butterfly39 #4 DEs ? Petal40 #6 (3 frosties) Fudge09 #6 (1 angel 18wks, ? frosties) Winsor #5 (1x5dt frostie) Luckyme1 #6 Chiefsgirl #11 DEs?
Cycle Underway Ninikrit #1 MaxKat #7 2 follicles
TWW Biscotti71 #5 EPU 16/3, 2 out 2 fert, 1x3dt 19/3, official BT 1/4, POAS BFN Leyshoja #11 (DE clinic) FET 2x2dt 26/3, official BT 9/4, POAS BFN