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  1. #1
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    Default **Trigger warning** Does it ever really get easier??

    My brother is gone. He had an accident in the early hours of new years day. We spent a day and a half holding on to the hope that he would pull through. But, he's gone. Just like that. I can still feel that sudden emptiness the moment we were told there was nothing more they could do. I can still see him laying there as if he was sleeping. I can still feel how cold he was. I can still feel that heaving in the pit of my stomach as I left the room. I can still feel my legs give way as they did when i finally realised that that's the last time I would ever see him. I hold so much regret. I should have trusted that uneasy feeling in my stomach that night. I should have not been so lazy and got out of the car and hugged him goodbye. I should have told him I loved him. I have this huge gaping hole in my chest and I just need to know that it gets easier. Because right now, every day feels dark. He was more than just my brother. He was my father figure, my friend, my idol. I miss him :'(

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    Hugs

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    oh hun I'm really sorry for your loss , please don't be hard on yourself, I'm sure your brother knew in his heart that you loved him and will always love him. If it helps you keep posting your thoughts, even tho we don't know you personally we are here to listen.

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart sank reading your story. It's all still so fresh and raw for you. It's ok to feel the way you are. We all grieve in different ways. May I suggest some counselling to help you with your emotions.

    Sending you big hugs xx

  5. #5
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    Rutabaga is offline Getting it together, one day at a time.
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    Oh god, I'm so sorry.

    Hold the people you love even closer, you all need to lean on each other. Let the people around you help however they can, they really do want to be able to show that they care. Don't second guess yourself, at all.
    Easier isn't the right word, but you get used to living with the emptiness and learn how to function around it. My heart is aching for you.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackDiamond View Post
    My brother is gone. He had an accident in the early hours of new years day. We spent a day and a half holding on to the hope that he would pull through. But, he's gone. Just like that. I can still feel that sudden emptiness the moment we were told there was nothing more they could do. I can still see him laying there as if he was sleeping. I can still feel how cold he was. I can still feel that heaving in the pit of my stomach as I left the room. I can still feel my legs give way as they did when i finally realised that that's the last time I would ever see him. I hold so much regret. I should have trusted that uneasy feeling in my stomach that night. I should have not been so lazy and got out of the car and hugged him goodbye. I should have told him I loved him. I have this huge gaping hole in my chest and I just need to know that it gets easier. Because right now, every day feels dark. He was more than just my brother. He was my father figure, my friend, my idol. I miss him :'(
    Personally no I don't think it does get easier. My mum has been gone 16years this year and it hasn't got easier. I have just got better at dealing with it!

    I am feeling your pain. We lost dh's father last week. He had such a battle the past 5months and while we knew he didn't have long to live it hasn't been easier to deal with but considering he was 90 and he had a good happy life gives us some comfort. I miss his witty sense of humour and his wonderful smile already 😢

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    I lost my sister 6 months ago and the pain is still raw. Maybe it'll get easier but it hasn't yet. I am so sorry for your loss, I understand the pain xxx

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    I've never lost someone this close. It's hard to think that I'll get through this. I feel so guilty for going about daily life. I feel bad the moment I realise he hasn't been on my mind for 24/7. I feel terrible for wishing that it was his friend (who was also involved in the accident) instead of him. We can't get him back so I just want everything to be dealt with and over. But instead his gf of 18mths is dragging her feet and being the hostile troll she is (I wish I could say that's her grief but she's been no different since day dot). I am petrified of losing someone else. Dh is on the road a lot and I get anxious if I haven't heard from him in a few hours. If he's home late I start preparing myself for that phone call/knock on the door. I can't live like this! I've been seeing a counsellor for other issues. Now things have somewhat settled I will make an appointment to see her.

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    Im very sorry,

    The only truthful and helpful piece of advice i was given when loosing someone close was

    "It wont hurt less, but it will hurt less often"

    2 years on I must say I find this to be true.
    The pain always feels raw, but you feel it less often.

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  11. #10
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    Much love to you. Always here - we all are if you ever need to talk.
    Remember that star? I hope it brings comfort to you, knowing he knows how you feel and that's he's always there. xx


 

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