+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    4,308
    Thanks
    3,424
    Thanked
    1,831
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Going back to work after being a SAHM - how did you feel?

    Well, I've been making steps towards going back to work after being a SAHM for several years.

    I used to feel so competent, reliable, efficient, valued and confident.

    Now I feel like a burden, unwanted, lacking worth/value in the current environment and under-skilled in terms of technology. I made a small mistake (no one was around to ask at the time - grrr) the other day at work that I followed-up straight away to make sure it was what it was supposed to be (I'd had a brief run-down on the programme due to several employees being away on leave and them needing someone to fill a void). I HATE making mistakes, even though DH says that I'll probably make some more as I go through learning new things this year. I guess I am concerned that others will think that I am unreliable.

    How did you feel when you first started going back to work?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2,200
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked
    721
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ending 5/6/15100 Posts in a week
    I had a break from my current job for a few years as it wears me down to pursue other career options. I stepped back into this position and was more qualified then others there. Within a week i had a payrise and was management. I have decided to leave as the environment is depressing and i was bumped up a tax bracket so now my wage doesn't cover childcare with the loss of my ccb. It is not financially viable for me to work there.

    To get back to the question. I did not find it daunting to go back except for the office politics as i am not into gossip

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Maxwell's Silver Hammer For This Useful Post:

    Little Ted  (18-02-2015)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    368
    Thanks
    374
    Thanked
    146
    Reviews
    1
    I only had maternity leave and I still felt out of loop when I went back to work.
    Dont feel bad even the most experienced
    people make mistakes. It sounds like you have heaps of initiative and are enthusiastic. I would take that in my staff over a few mistakes any day!

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Ashfirst For This Useful Post:

    Little Ted  (18-02-2015)

  6. #4
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,994
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,889
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    I felt then, and I still feel now, like I constantly have to make the choice about whether I'm putting DS first or my job first. My job always used to come first - it was a no brainer. But tonight, for example, it is 9.25 and I am only just eating my dinner. It's lucky I have been super organised with my planning so I will be fine for tomorrow, but there will be some times where he goes to sleep late and I will just simply have to be up late to be prepared for my day's teaching.

    There are days when I'm exhausted, the most memorable being the night DS stayed up til 5am and I had to get up for work at 7. Those days I'm just phoning it in really, and in all honesty I should use a sick day and get a reliever, except that I feel that parents will judge me if I'm away too much.

    Last year when DS started cc he was sick a lot and I had to leave school early a lot while others covered for me. They didn't mind, but I deeply resented it, and also felt like I was unreliable and letting my colleagues down. I'm not sure if they felt the same way. Because I have missed so much time because of DS, I feel extra pressure to go to work when I'm not well myself.

    I never feel like I'm being 100% with my mum hat or my work hat. I get comments from my colleagues for leaving work 'early' so I can spend my cherished 20 minutes at home on my own before I get into mum territory again. I get comments from FOB about DS spending so much time in childcare. In all honesty I feel like I can't win either battle, and I just have to do my best.

    Sorry, I'm sounding very negative! The great aspects are using my brain again, time with other adults, going back to something I'm good at, aiming for work/life balance. But it is tricky, and it does take time to get into the swing of things.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to harvs For This Useful Post:

    Little Ted  (18-02-2015)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    385
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked
    124
    Reviews
    0
    Tbh it probably took me a good 3 months to totally get back into the groove. I remember I spent all of my first day wondering if I was going to remember everything again. It did get easier and now I feel in control again. I only had 7 months off though. It will get easier.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Amber4304 For This Useful Post:

    Little Ted  (18-02-2015)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    4,308
    Thanks
    3,424
    Thanked
    1,831
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Thank you - it helps to hear others' experiences. Most people I know have been able to keep working either casually or on a PT basis due to family or have a partner with flexible working hours. I would have loved to have had PT work but there was none available when it was my time.

    AQOA - Harvs, I think we all realise the amount of effort you put into everything - particularly your work and your DS and just how much he means to you.

    Amber - It's only been a month of 1 day/week so far so hopefully I'll look back in a few months and feel a bit better just like you did! It's so isolating being at home for so long - I have to get used to being around big people all the time again and conversing! I've had many years off - so much has changed.

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,705
    Thanks
    9,557
    Thanked
    12,687
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Going back to work after being a SAHM - how did you feel?

    Both times I've gone back 4 days per week to start with into the same (or a similar) position. So I've had the same level of responsibility etc. my problem is (especially this last time) I have zero patience for office gossip/politics/incompetence and people fluffing around (eg chatting so a meeting. That should take 30 minutes takes 2 hours). Because I have work to do in less days and I can only work an 8 hour day as I need to get home to my kids. Stop the bull****, get to the point and make a decision.

    I feel a little sad that the bond I have developed with ds1 and ds2 will weaken now I am not home with them as much.

    So my challenge is learning how to bit my tongue and put up with others crap.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Little Ted  (18-02-2015)

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    4,308
    Thanks
    3,424
    Thanked
    1,831
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Both times I've gone back 4 days per week to start with into the same (or a similar) position. So I've had the same level of responsibility etc. my problem is (especially this last time) I have zero patience for office gossip/politics/incompetence and people fluffing around (eg chatting so a meeting. That should take 30 minutes takes 2 hours). Because I have work to do in less days and I can only work an 8 hour day as I need to get home to my kids. Stop the bull****, get to the point and make a decision.

    I feel a little sad that the bond I have developed with ds1 and ds2 will weaken now I am not home with them as much.

    So my challenge is learning how to bit my tongue and put up with others crap.
    I had a smile on my face reading that post VP! I could imagine how biting your tongue is not what you would really like to do...just a vibe I get.

    I think what I am finding hard with the kids at this stage is fitting their homework in on the day that I work. So far we've just made them a homework-free day, but I would like to at least get their homereaders done. Perhaps this is my goal for next week.

    I can't imagine what it would be like for those that had to go back FT from when their little ones were little. It would be so hard to have only a few hours a day. There definitely should be a few more hours in the day.

  14. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    385
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked
    124
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post

    I can't imagine what it would be like for those that had to go back FT from when their little ones were little. It would be so hard to have only a few hours a day. There definitely should be a few more hours in the day.
    I reckon it's easier to go back when they're younger ifykwim. I went back when DS was 7 months and haven't had to worry about school work etc. it does suck that I don't get as much time with him but such is life. Hopefully when he goes to school I won't find the adjustment too hard in terms of fitting in homework and after school activities. Or that could just be wishful thinking😉


 

Similar Threads

  1. Going back or starting work
    By RuffledPansy in forum General Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-01-2015, 10:09
  2. Going back to work straight away
    By Bubbles1984 in forum Family Finances
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 05-01-2015, 07:10
  3. Would you go back to work if you didn't have to?
    By dee1 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 103
    Last Post: 22-07-2014, 22:09

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Life Fertility
Life Fertility Clinic is a boutique fertility clinic located in Spring Hill, Brisbane. Our dedicated fertility and IVF specialists offer professional, holistic, personalised options for the treatment of each patient’s specific needs.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!