I suffer depression and anxiety also. Hubby works interstate, started not long before we fell pregnant with #4. The thing I struggle most with is he doesn't have a set roster, he can be gone for 6+ weeks and home as little as 2 days beforw leaving again... and we never know how long he will be gone until he gets there. He missed most of the pregnancy with #4, and there was a high chance he would miss the birth which caused me massive anxiety. I spoke to my midwife about my concerns and she did her best to reassure me that even if that happened, I would receive as much support as I need from her and my student midwife. Thankfully dd4 arrived 2 days before was meant to fly back to work and he was able to extend his time off so he was home for a week after she was born. Those first few shifts after she arrived were the hardest and longest weeks, I really struggled. We didnt have any family support and I only had 1 friend who worked full time. Dh tried to be as supportive as he could, he would call me several times a day to see how I was going and listen when I vented. In the first 3 months of dd4s life, he saw her for a total of 2 weeks which wasnt even a solid block. We made the decision to move back to my hometown so I was close to my support.
Its bloody hard. And some shifts are harder than others- this shift he has been gone for 2 weeks so far and still will be gone another 2. And we have had a lot of family issues happen while he has been gone and Im really stuggling. The thing is though, I know its equally hard on him.
While he is away I try to keep busy. I do things like go visit friends or family, take the kids to the park.... anything to pass the time and keep my mind occupied. When he is home that time is purely family time, unless we do something as family like have a bbq or something.
Hilldweller summed it up pretty well. Find a routine or things to do that you do while he is away and then when he is home, do different things.
It doesnt matter if he works away a couple of days a week or a few months at a time, its bloody hard and your feelings are just as valid as anyone elses.
It's lovely that everyone had taken the time!
I am lucky that I work full time, because if it was lonely days as well..
It's night times that get me, I haven't got family support, my friends are too far away or don't drive.
I will have to try to find a hobby like everyone has suggested
I find nights after kids are all in bed and the place is quiet and i am alone with my thoughts is when i get really down. I try to busy myself organising lunches and uniforms for the following day, tidying up and then settle down to watch some trashy tv helps. Or even just texting a friend or my mum and talk crap.
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