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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post
    Don't feel that way, your feelings are completely valid regardless of what other people deal with.

    Until just recently my DH was working away - 2 weeks on, 1 week off. He had been doing that since before we met. It got harder and harder for both of us. I know people who's husbands work away for 4 weeks at a time, but that doesn't make my feelings invalid or less than theirs.

    The way I found I could struggle through is by having a routine where I did something different each day. I even planned each day he was going to be away on a calendar - and I made it different to our usual routine when he was home. It seemed to make the time go faster. I had exercise classes, nights where I planned to watch certain movies or read books etc. I even found a couple of nice cafés around me and went there to read a book and eat cake! I almost had a little list in my head of things I loved doing when no-one else was around - that way, when he left I had activities I was at least looking forward to. Avoid things you know make you feel sad (for me this meant avoiding doing things we really enjoy doing together - that would always make me miss DH more. Even down to not watching TV shows we usually watch together! You've got to find what works for you).

    Do you enjoy seeing friends? Do you have friends who might understand and be up for an after dinner visit some nights? I understand how it feels, I suffer depression too, and it often feels like it's all too hard to make the effort, but if you can force yourself to, it does help.

    Thank you so much. I really appreciate your advice and support.

    I know you are all right and I need to make some changes.

    Thank you.

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    HillDweller  (17-02-2015)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amgine View Post
    Thank you for your support!!

    Just having you all listen takes such a weight off my shoulders.

    My hubby just landed in WA.

    Wow! Happy anniversary!! Those planes take so long to disembark when you are waiting for them to get to you!
    My DH just flew out this morning, we're in WA too he's working mostly in Perth now but had to go away for 13 days this time :/

    It's the best feeling when you see them get off that plane!

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    Amgine  (17-02-2015)

  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post
    My DH just flew out this morning, we're in WA too he's working mostly in Perth now but had to go away for 13 days this time :/

    It's the best feeling when you see them get off that plane!
    We live in Newcastle, so it feels like we are worlds apart.

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amgine View Post
    We live in Newcastle, so it feels like we are worlds apart.
    Oh yeah, that would be harder :/ We know a few people who have to fly interstate, hard when it takes them so much longer to get home!

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    Amgine  (18-02-2015)

  8. #15
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    I suffer depression and anxiety also. Hubby works interstate, started not long before we fell pregnant with #4. The thing I struggle most with is he doesn't have a set roster, he can be gone for 6+ weeks and home as little as 2 days beforw leaving again... and we never know how long he will be gone until he gets there. He missed most of the pregnancy with #4, and there was a high chance he would miss the birth which caused me massive anxiety. I spoke to my midwife about my concerns and she did her best to reassure me that even if that happened, I would receive as much support as I need from her and my student midwife. Thankfully dd4 arrived 2 days before was meant to fly back to work and he was able to extend his time off so he was home for a week after she was born. Those first few shifts after she arrived were the hardest and longest weeks, I really struggled. We didnt have any family support and I only had 1 friend who worked full time. Dh tried to be as supportive as he could, he would call me several times a day to see how I was going and listen when I vented. In the first 3 months of dd4s life, he saw her for a total of 2 weeks which wasnt even a solid block. We made the decision to move back to my hometown so I was close to my support.

    Its bloody hard. And some shifts are harder than others- this shift he has been gone for 2 weeks so far and still will be gone another 2. And we have had a lot of family issues happen while he has been gone and Im really stuggling. The thing is though, I know its equally hard on him.

    While he is away I try to keep busy. I do things like go visit friends or family, take the kids to the park.... anything to pass the time and keep my mind occupied. When he is home that time is purely family time, unless we do something as family like have a bbq or something.

    Hilldweller summed it up pretty well. Find a routine or things to do that you do while he is away and then when he is home, do different things.

    It doesnt matter if he works away a couple of days a week or a few months at a time, its bloody hard and your feelings are just as valid as anyone elses.

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    Amgine  (18-02-2015)

  10. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by SheWarrior View Post
    I suffer depression and anxiety also. Hubby works interstate, started not long before we fell pregnant with #4. The thing I struggle most with is he doesn't have a set roster, he can be gone for 6+ weeks and home as little as 2 days beforw leaving again... and we never know how long he will be gone until he gets there. He missed most of the pregnancy with #4, and there was a high chance he would miss the birth which caused me massive anxiety. I spoke to my midwife about my concerns and she did her best to reassure me that even if that happened, I would receive as much support as I need from her and my student midwife. Thankfully dd4 arrived 2 days before was meant to fly back to work and he was able to extend his time off so he was home for a week after she was born. Those first few shifts after she arrived were the hardest and longest weeks, I really struggled. We didnt have any family support and I only had 1 friend who worked full time. Dh tried to be as supportive as he could, he would call me several times a day to see how I was going and listen when I vented. In the first 3 months of dd4s life, he saw her for a total of 2 weeks which wasnt even a solid block. We made the decision to move back to my hometown so I was close to my support.

    Its bloody hard. And some shifts are harder than others- this shift he has been gone for 2 weeks so far and still will be gone another 2. And we have had a lot of family issues happen while he has been gone and Im really stuggling. The thing is though, I know its equally hard on him.

    While he is away I try to keep busy. I do things like go visit friends or family, take the kids to the park.... anything to pass the time and keep my mind occupied. When he is home that time is purely family time, unless we do something as family like have a bbq or something.

    Hilldweller summed it up pretty well. Find a routine or things to do that you do while he is away and then when he is home, do different things.

    It doesnt matter if he works away a couple of days a week or a few months at a time, its bloody hard and your feelings are just as valid as anyone elses.
    Thank you very much for your reply!

    It's lovely that everyone had taken the time!

    I am lucky that I work full time, because if it was lonely days as well..

    It's night times that get me, I haven't got family support, my friends are too far away or don't drive.

    I will have to try to find a hobby like everyone has suggested

  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amgine View Post
    Thank you very much for your reply!

    It's lovely that everyone had taken the time!

    I am lucky that I work full time, because if it was lonely days as well..

    It's night times that get me, I haven't got family support, my friends are too far away or don't drive.

    I will have to try to find a hobby like everyone has suggested
    Night times are hard for sure. Are you able to skype your dh?

    I find nights after kids are all in bed and the place is quiet and i am alone with my thoughts is when i get really down. I try to busy myself organising lunches and uniforms for the following day, tidying up and then settle down to watch some trashy tv helps. Or even just texting a friend or my mum and talk crap.

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