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  1. #111
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    Default 3rd? Is it a bad idea?

    Almost 20 weeks with #3. Three chemicals to get here.
    Still terrified lol

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    ScubaGal  (11-09-2016)

  3. #112
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    First time reading this thread.. And I've read through the entire thread LOL I thought the latest update would be something along the lines of "I'm pregnant!" Or "please welcome my baby #3!"

    You've been agonising over this decision for over a year now. I say GO FOR IT! Just try, and if it doesn't work, at least you'll know you tried. As others have said, let fate decide.

    My boys will be 5 and 3 in October and November respectively. Boy #3 is due in November. I'm super excited about it and so are the boys. They are at a great age now where they are not so small that they need constant attention (DS1 starting school next year as well, DS2 is at childcare 3 days a week), but the age gap is small enough that they will be great friends.

    No regrets here so far.

    I do feel that I will be 100% done after this one. I think you really would know for sure if you were done and I have a suspicion from your comments that you're not

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    giveitago  (28-07-2016)

  5. #113
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    I know this is a thread about 3, but im contemplating number 4. I've never been busier but wondering how 4 will work into my schedule. Kids are 4,6 & 8.

  6. #114
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    My 2nd is 3 and I've swung back and forth between wanting a third those whole 3 years. I'm 40 already but I think age is relative depending on health factors etc. But I've really struggled to lose the baby weight after DS and the aches caused by being heavier are making me feel ever minute of my age!

    DH had said he didn't want a third but would occassionally make comments like "Our kids are so great it nearly makes me want another" etc. Last cycle we had a pregnancy scare and DH's reaction made me realise that his want for another is 99% overshadowed by his decision to not. While I've been 50/50. The 'practical' list of why we shouldn't have another is huge (miscarriages, CS birth, my age, gestational diabetes, finances/my time off work, 3br house, smaller car, gotten rid of most baby stuff, pregnancy turning me into hell-woman, plus more little things.) Both my kids pushed our relationship to the limit during the pregnancy and first year. I know another child, especially if unwanted by DH, could quite possibly break us.

    So this has caused (even more) soul searching and I've been slowly letting go of the idea of another. I looked at some of my deep down motivations and realised part of it is because I'm not happy at work and another part because I don't want to face getting old. Moving away from the young kids stage of life feels like such a one way sstreet. I have tough moments (like when dropbeat parents at work are pregnant ... again) where my heart twangs. But I've been able to focus more on making my life the way I want it right now. I realised there were a few things I was unconsciously putting off because I'd have to stop it or the hard work would be undone if another baby was on the way. So I've switched focus a little and doing that I'm in turn feeling better about my life now with 2.

    I've had to spend less time on here to help me move on as well. I expect the replies you get here are much more in the "yes" camp because those who decided "no" find hanging out in pregnancy chats a bit hard at times.

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    Cue  (28-07-2016)

  8. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    My 2nd is 3 and I've swung back and forth between wanting a third those whole 3 years. I'm 40 already but I think age is relative depending on health factors etc. But I've really struggled to lose the baby weight after DS and the aches caused by being heavier are making me feel ever minute of my age!

    DH had said he didn't want a third but would occassionally make comments like "Our kids are so great it nearly makes me want another" etc. Last cycle we had a pregnancy scare and DH's reaction made me realise that his want for another is 99% overshadowed by his decision to not. While I've been 50/50. The 'practical' list of why we shouldn't have another is huge (miscarriages, CS birth, my age, gestational diabetes, finances/my time off work, 3br house, smaller car, gotten rid of most baby stuff, pregnancy turning me into hell-woman, plus more little things.) Both my kids pushed our relationship to the limit during the pregnancy and first year. I know another child, especially if unwanted by DH, could quite possibly break us.

    So this has caused (even more) soul searching and I've been slowly letting go of the idea of another. I looked at some of my deep down motivations and realised part of it is because I'm not happy at work and another part because I don't want to face getting old. Moving away from the young kids stage of life feels like such a one way sstreet. I have tough moments (like when dropbeat parents at work are pregnant ... again) where my heart twangs. But I've been able to focus more on making my life the way I want it right now. I realised there were a few things I was unconsciously putting off because I'd have to stop it or the hard work would be undone if another baby was on the way. So I've switched focus a little and doing that I'm in turn feeling better about my life now with 2.

    I've had to spend less time on here to help me move on as well. I expect the replies you get here are much more in the "yes" camp because those who decided "no" find hanging out in pregnancy chats a bit hard at times.
    So much of this resonates with me. I haven't yet given up the idea but fully agree, I think if I decide 2 is enough I probably will disappear from the forum, as a way to close that door and move on. I am giving myself until DS2 turns 1 then I can make a decision.

  9. #116
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    I followed this thread when we were deciding last year. I now have 3 month old and am so glad we went for our third. There was a few things that made my mind up for me. The saying you never regret the kids you have but you may regret those you didn't (I didn't want to look back in years and have regrets). The other was a post I found on another thread where a lady said close your eyes and picture your family. Not now but in the future. That way your not just seeing a baby which some people really desire. When I did the images that came to mind where 3 boys playing cricket out the back and them sitting in the couch together laughing. That made me so happy and also helped me realise I wanted another baby and wasn't just trying for a girl.

    Yes some days are rough and breast feeding can be so exhausting especially when we have a growth spurt and he wakes every 2-3 hours but I'm so lucky dh is so supportive and such a great help around the house.

    My advice if you can afford to have another and it's really playing in your mind go for it cause you don't want that regret or sadness in years to come.

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    giveitago  (28-07-2016)

  11. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    My 2nd is 3 and I've swung back and forth between wanting a third those whole 3 years. I'm 40 already but I think age is relative depending on health factors etc. But I've really struggled to lose the baby weight after DS and the aches caused by being heavier are making me feel ever minute of my age!

    DH had said he didn't want a third but would occassionally make comments like "Our kids are so great it nearly makes me want another" etc. Last cycle we had a pregnancy scare and DH's reaction made me realise that his want for another is 99% overshadowed by his decision to not. While I've been 50/50. The 'practical' list of why we shouldn't have another is huge (miscarriages, CS birth, my age, gestational diabetes, finances/my time off work, 3br house, smaller car, gotten rid of most baby stuff, pregnancy turning me into hell-woman, plus more little things.) Both my kids pushed our relationship to the limit during the pregnancy and first year. I know another child, especially if unwanted by DH, could quite possibly break us.

    So this has caused (even more) soul searching and I've been slowly letting go of the idea of another. I looked at some of my deep down motivations and realised part of it is because I'm not happy at work and another part because I don't want to face getting old. Moving away from the young kids stage of life feels like such a one way sstreet. I have tough moments (like when dropbeat parents at work are pregnant ... again) where my heart twangs. But I've been able to focus more on making my life the way I want it right now. I realised there were a few things I was unconsciously putting off because I'd have to stop it or the hard work would be undone if another baby was on the way. So I've switched focus a little and doing that I'm in turn feeling better about my life now with 2.

    I've had to spend less time on here to help me move on as well. I expect the replies you get here are much more in the "yes" camp because those who decided "no" find hanging out in pregnancy chats a bit hard at times.
    A lot of this is exactly where my head it at too. I do worry that I'm not happy with things like work (have only been back at work for 2 months after 2yrs off) and that's driving the desire for another baby. I am absolutely sure that I will love that child as much as I do my current kids but I do worry that I'll struggle and that our marriage will be strained if it gets really hectic. We definitely have the space in the house and the practical stuff can be sorted out. In the past year we have moved and now have a larger mortgage so while money wouldn't be a big issue, we'd have to work out a budget and how long I could be off work.

    It was so easy deciding to have the first 2, for some reason a third seems like a massive deal!!

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    sunnygirl79  (28-07-2016)

  13. #118
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    My husband said as an observation the other day, that he can see why there is generally a bigger gap to number 3 as it seems like a 'bigger' decision!

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    We just kind of leapt in and went for number 3. We fell pregnant straight away, and I'm not sure that I was really prepared for that, I was still breastfeeding and had only had maybe two periods since having my second. Anyway, when the positive came up I had a bit of a 'WTF have I done?!' moment. And if I'm honest, this feeling lasted right the way through my pregnancy, until the day I gave birth. I remember feeling like I didn't have the stamina for a third, I didn't have the energy for another first yr and sleepless nights. And then he was born.... And he has been the best thing ever. I couldn't be more thrilled with him. He is 8 months now. He doesn't sleep (none of my kids do!), but it doesn't faze me. He has completed our family in a way I wasn't expecting and it has really been amazing.

    i spent my whole pregnancy reading horror stories about third babies and 3 child families, and almost wished I could flip a switch and take the pregnancy back. But I haven't found 3 kids to be difficult like I was anticipating. I love it!

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  16. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cue View Post
    It was so easy deciding to have the first 2, for some reason a third seems like a massive deal!!
    I agree, having a 2nd wasn't even really a decision - it was just always going to happen!

    I must say, now that I'm making a genuine commitment to not having a third I keep having more and more reasons to stick to our 2 every day.

    Now to pester DH to go snippy snip snip!

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    smallpotatoes  (29-07-2016)


 

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