+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default I'm posting here because I need a quick response!

    So, i'm trying to get draft parenting orders done before COB today as I have a lawyer who will look at them for free if I can.

    I am stuck on my birthday and mother's/father's day. Ultimately FOB will get to decide his bday and Father's day 'wants'. I'm just thinking that if Mother's Day falls on a day that I don't have the kids then, too bad. I don't see them. FOB is an a**hat and he makes everything a drama/miserable so I just feel it's better I don't ask for special time. Some people's orders say that the kids get to be with the mum even f it' the father's time. I know the kids will be a bit upset but I can make sure we do a special dinner/breakfast the week before. It's probably only 4-5 Mothers days in the next 10 years anyway and then the kids decide for themselves. Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    150
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked
    43
    Reviews
    0

    Default I'm posting here because I need a quick response!

    I would be devastated not having my child on Mothers Day 😪
    Last edited by Mumlife86; 25-05-2015 at 07:31.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    195
    Thanks
    224
    Thanked
    175
    Reviews
    0
    If it's not super important to you maybe leave it - save the fight for things your really want out of the agreement.
    Who knows, if the kids do get upset about not seeing you on MDay then maybe your ex will cave anyway and let them spend it with you?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by jaybu84 View Post
    If it's not super important to you maybe leave it - save the fight for things your really want out of the agreement.
    Who knows, if the kids do get upset about not seeing you on MDay then maybe your ex will cave anyway and let them spend it with you?
    He's not that kind of man. He's more likely to say yes and then change his mind which would hurt the kids more. Hence why I am thinking I should forgo.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Mumlife86 View Post
    I have a court order in place for my eldest child. My ex has my son on Father's Day and I have him on Mother's Day. Regardless who is meant to have him on that particular day.
    In our case he would then need to pick the kids up before bed and take them back as he is likely going to get 4/14 nights in a block.

  6. #6
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,407
    Thanks
    5,372
    Thanked
    5,813
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week
    for your birthday and mothers day I probably would say that you get them for those.

    Its not for you, its for the kids. They LIKE to make it special ...

    If its in the plan - he has to.

    If it ends up being too hard, you can always forgo it. You cant put it in and make it a requirement later though.

    So general rule - put in EVERYTHING you want, and you can compromise on it if it doesnt happen later.

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BH-KatiesMum For This Useful Post:

    Amgine  (17-02-2015),Apple iPhart6  (17-02-2015),PlayNice  (17-02-2015)

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    263
    Thanks
    567
    Thanked
    141
    Reviews
    0
    You should definitely ask for special time, I had like PP mentioned, Father's Day with father, Mother's Day with me, regardless of whose weekend it was, also his b'day with him, my birthday with me. Xmas eve til just after lunch with me then just after lunch to bedtime on Xmas day with dad and alternate each year.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    263
    Thanks
    567
    Thanked
    141
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by BbBbBh View Post
    In our case he would then need to pick the kids up before bed and take them back as he is likely going to get 4/14 nights in a block.
    You'll have to check this bit, just because I was told that the family law court etc prefers that there should be shared travel on each parents part ie. One parent picks up the other drops off...

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BH-KatiesMum View Post
    for your birthday and mothers day I probably would say that you get them for those.

    Its not for you, its for the kids. They LIKE to make it special ...

    If its in the plan - he has to.

    If it ends up being too hard, you can always forgo it. You cant put it in and make it a requirement later though.

    So general rule - put in EVERYTHING you want, and you can compromise on it if it doesnt happen later.
    I'm just thinking forgo it now because he will set it up to ruin it. IE He will have the kids run really late or arrive early to pick them up (30-40 mins) and make his presence known by sitting in driveway music blaring or his gf dancing. A few years back his gf helped my son a card that read 'happy b*chday'. Made me upset at the time

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    439
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked
    230
    Reviews
    0
    Our court order says Mother's Day the father does the drop off and pick up from 8-4, same in reverse for Father's Day. If you think he will try and ruin it, he can only if you let him!! He does it cause he sees it gets to you. If it helps though, have it written so that you do the pickups and drop offs to limit the amount of bull... he pulls.

    Birthdays we have no arrangement and just do something when they are with us.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Constipation help. Quick response please.
    By 2BlueBirds in forum Constipation, Toilet Training
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 20-06-2014, 15:04
  2. Quick response : supervision qn
    By BbBbBh in forum General Chat
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 28-04-2014, 22:10
  3. First response
    By mummyjac in forum Conception & Fertility General Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-03-2014, 16:46

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pyjamas.com.au
With so many gorgeous brands and styles for every season, our pyjamas, nighties, robes, sleepsuits and sleeping bags are lovely for lights out and perfect for lazy days. Get 10% off first order using code bubhub. Be quick offer ends 31/12/16.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Vibe Natural Health
Your natural health care team for fertility, pregnancy, post natal and family health care. Our Naturopaths, Doctors, Osteopaths, Acupuncturists, Psychologists,Nutritionists, Pilates, & Massage specialise in women & children's health and wellbeing.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!