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  1. #1
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    Default How does co-parents work out sports on weekends?

    My DS5 is wanting to do sports on weekends (auskick). I have spoken to DS father about him wanting to do activities on weekends for a couple of years now, which has always ended in him saying "no, I won't take him during my weekend because it eats into our weekend", which the sport only goes for an hour at 9am.

    I've suggested instead of having every 2nd weekend, to do every weekend but half the weekend so he can do his sports & see his dad as well (seeing as his father wont take him on his weekend), he says "no thats not enough time with him".

    I then say "ok, do you want him for a few hours one night during the week for dinner as well as one night on the weekend each week?", he says "no, I work shift work so I can't, plus my parents dont want to drive after work" (he still doesn't drive and relies on his parents to get him to and from our place).

    DS's father has straight out accuses me of using this as an excuse to have one last control over him, um no? it's so your son can have hobbies after school & on weekends! Sorry that you have to parent & do things for your son, other than watch tv all day and play ipad!

    So, tell me how you and your ex works around weekly activities on weekends?

    Am I being unreasonable to ask him to take an 2 hours out of his weekend MAX, which includes traffic to and from the activity as well as the hour long activity.

    Do you think it's fair to compromise, switch things around, work something out for DS? (which I think I have offered a couple of options?).

    Do you think DS should just miss out every second weekend on football to keep his dad happy & so they don't have to go anywhere?

  2. #2
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    I expect a parent to agree to support a child in playing sport. FFS. The reality is some parents don't so unfortunately the child misses out. Maybe enrol DS and then invite his dad to come and watch (pick him up if you have to or invite his parents along), introduce him to the coach and the other parents, make a fuss like he's the best dad in the world and maybe just maybe he will feel a little pressured to take him on his weekends. Do you get on with his parents? If so, maybe directly invite them to come on your weekend so they too feel the pressure but also they get to see first hand that your ds enjoys playing. Playing every 2nd week is better than no week! Plus get a ball that ds can take to his dad's. It may just be the kick in the pants FOB needs.

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  4. #3
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    Default How does co-parents work out sports on weekends?

    My partners ex enrolled our son in football without mentioning it and expected us to drive him the 40 minutes every weekend to do it, she does this sort of stuff all the time, thankfully dss didn't want to continue after a term. We are currently trying to figure out a way to get him to do scouts but it's during he week for a meeting and the frequent weekend activities, we are hoping she will bring him to the meeting and we can drive him home and then we would be responsible for all weekend activities as he is with us

    Edit to add we have him every weekend and she didn't even mention it to us until after he was enrolled near her house when we could have enrolled him in one closer to us if that's what he wanted to do
    Last edited by PipersMummy; 17-02-2015 at 14:11.

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    Yeah DS dad has known that DS has been wanting to do football on weekend for 2 years now. Everything else he can do after school but footy is weekends only.

    The reason I believe is that he isn't into sports so he doesn't want to sit there bored while his son has fun. If it was something that they both were into he would go, which they already do together (movies, iPads cartoons).

    I might have to speak to his parents directly about it but I know they'll say that it has nothing to do with them speak to fob about it. Which they are involved because he lives with them & they drive him everywhere.

    I just feel sad for DS that his father doesn't care about his interests

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    I am not in a situation where I need to deal with an ex so I hope you don't mind me replying.

    It sounds to me like your ex is being completely unreasonable, particularly given that you have suggested a number of alternative arrangements. It seems so unfair that your DS has to miss out just because his Dad doesn't want to compromise. Could you speak to his parents and see if you can get them on board with the idea? They might be able to help sway him into a compromise.

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    Does he have to stay while he is doing the activity? I know some places allow drop and collect?

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    Quote Originally Posted by PipersMummy View Post
    Does he have to stay while he is doing the activity? I know some places allow drop and collect?
    I'm not sure. I'd prefer if he did seeing as DS is only 5 & it's at an oval, not an indoors thing.

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    Hmm, what kind of message does that send to a 5yo really? It's spending quality time with your child - watching them accomplish stuff!

    I would rather have paddle pop sticks shoved under my fingernails than take my ds4 to his football but I do it, my partner can't because he's at work. I'm not like other parents who don't watch the game because that's kinda rude too.

    Would they even let you do every second week?

    I remember doing sport and if you missed a a coaching session or a game you were sat out for the next one as well as penance because you need to send out a full team.

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    My DS did footy last year with DSS and my ex wouldn't take him on his weekends, primarily because he doesn't have a car and the footy is held near DP's ex, 25 minutes drive from us. DS just did it every fortnight (under 8s team).

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    We discussed any activities dss wanted to do with bio mum, if she was against it but dss really wanted to do it (this has never happened, bio mum has let him do whatever activities dss wanted) we would have signed him up and just taken him on our weekend, no reason dss should miss out.
    Could you maybe still give ex the whole weekend but offer to take ds for that 2 hours to play footy?


 

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