So, I have an agenda here, but want opinions first.
I would like to, initially, limit the opinions to those who have/are going through the circumstances themselves- i.e. people who pay or receive child support. Mainly, because I want real-life answers and not 'what I would do if'. Thanks.
My question- what is child support for?
Does it cover all child-related costs, or just the basics (and an agreement iis made about the rest).
I do not want a debate here. I just want opinions on what you think C.S. is for.
This part is open to everyone
After that, please respond (and debate if you wish) the following:
We have always agreed that C.S. is for everything child-related at her house (even though we pay for almost everything else).
Recently, we learned (from the tutor, and DSD) that DSD’s mother has either not been taking her to music lessons, or turning up 15 minutes late.
It is never earlier than 15 minutes.
The lesson is for 30 minutes once a week.
We have now stated, clearly, that after this term, we will no longer be paying for the lessons.
1. Unless we give 24 hours (or more) notice, we are charged for the lesson, regardless of whether she shows or not, and
2. She has been doing these lessons for 10 months, and has been to 15 of them… out of (roughly) 40. So, 25 lessons missed.
Now she did miss, maybe 10, because of illness and a broken hand.
But that means she has still missed 15 lessons… plus the fact that of the 15 she has done, she has only been there for half a lesson.
The lesson is on the school premises, before school- a 3 minute walk from their apartment. Her mother chose the day and time, we just arranged (and paid) for it.
Are we being unfair? We would love for DSD to continue, as she loves it, but it is very expensive (10 week term costs $600, plus the instrument cost $2300). We are now expecting, and want to keep spending to a minimum. So if she’s not going to the lessons, why pay for them? We think if her mother cannot ensure that she will be on time (or even go) that she needs to work out how to pay for them from cs.
As a note: We have been paying $800 (dropped to $500 this month) a month in cs, 100% of costs at our house, 50% of costs at their mother’s house, and 50% of all school, care, and activity costs. We are getting legal advice on what we do not need to pay (the 50% at hers will go).
In the meantime, I want to know what you lovely people think (obviously when you're going through it that is all you can see, so other views will help).
Please, please, please, answer the first part, and then respond to our situation. I really want to know what YOU think cs is for first.
ETA: of the lessons she missed, DSD is adamant she was not ill, and that they "just didn't go, even when I asked mummy". We got the dates missed from the tutor, and have confirmed she attended school those days. Lesson is at 8am, have to be at school by 8.55am.