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  1. #1
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    Default Wwyd? Birthday invite with very specific dress code

    I recently got an invite for a friends 40th birthday. She's not a very close friend anymore, we hardly see each other, she's lovely though, the distance is due to busy and very different lives.

    So I was all excited to get the invite and in my head was planning what I would wear and I was all set to RSVP yes when I saw right at the bottom the dress code is formal white attire.

    Okay so here's the problem. I'm overweight and have a difficult body shape and finding clothes that fit is a nightmare, not to mention plus size clothes are so expensive. I never wear white, I mean ever, I literally own no white clothes, I'm into dark colours.

    I've had a look online to see if I can find any formal white dresses in my size but I can't, except for plus size wedding type dresses, but I think they're a bit much for someone else's birthday; they also cost a fortune and I can't justify spending that much money for something I'll never wear again. And I know whatever I buy I won't wear again.

    So what do I do? Do I RSVP no, it seems so silly, and what if she asks why, do I make up a white lie, I'll feel ridiculous saying I can't come because I don't have anything to wear? So what would you do?

    On a side note, I really hate invites that include a specific dress code, I mean yes 'formal, casual, smart casual' is fine but shouldn't adults be able to wear any colour they like!?

  2. #2
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    Do you have a baby omit young child? You could wear something formal but a different colour and apologise on the night and say DS or DD threw up on / dirtied it (the 'white one') so you had to change and wear what you are wearing.

    It's a white lie but better than not going at all.

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    I think I would ask for more clarification on what she's wanting. Do you know where the party is? Is she planning a surprise wedding? Seems a little odd for a 40th (unless this is her usual lifestyle). If there is any 'room to move' I would be looking for something white formal of another era. Vintage can be awesome and mostly cheaper.

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    I'd probably not go. I wouldn't make a big deal of it though, just RSVP saying that unfortunately you are unable to attend. It wouldn't be worth possibly straining the friendship by telling her your not going because you have nothing to wear.

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    I went to a black and white party and wore green as I didn't have anything formal that fitted. I felt so uncomfortable as I was the only one not wearing that colour. Just try online, eBay, or even op shops. If you can't find anything don't go.

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    Do you have any friends that are good at sewing. I would get a white skirt or simple white dress made up. Or what about a white blazer or shawl?

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    Are there any Facebook buy swap sell pages for plus size clothing? Not sure if that's something that exists..? Most op shops will also have a decent plus size clothing section. Our do you know anyone else your size who you might be able to borrow from?

    It would be shame for you to miss the party, but if you're not going to be able to relax and feel comfortable while there, then I'd probably decline the invite :/

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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    What about wearing something black with a prominent white clutch, white feather boa etc. That way you'll feel good about yourself but also have some white on you?
    I think this is a great idea! I had no ideas of what you could do, but then I read this post and I think this is a great solution!

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    I'm with you in that I hate invites that have such specific requirements. It might sound like a fun idea to the host, but can be really expensive or difficult for the guest (as in your case).

    But I wouldn't go in a different colour if it says all white because chances are everyone else will be in white and a different colour will stand out like a sore thumb.

    Since its not a close friend, I wouldn't go if I couldn't find the right clothes to wear.

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    Maybe as a PP said a black dress with a white shawl or jacket and accessories? I think that wouldn't stand out as much!

    Maybe talk to your friend, im sure she would rather you go then not only because of clothing


 

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