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  1. #881
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    @MrsSIG.

    It's a really confusing time and not an easy decision to make.

    Have you seen a fertility counsellor yet? I wasn't into the whole counselling thing and only went because we had to, to be eligible for donor. We saw two counsellors. The first one, to be honest, was not very good but the second one was fantastic! Really helped to get my thoughts clear and helped to understand the pros and cons.

    And I know I've already mentioned it, but the videos I watched also helped me a lot. Hearing from donor kids themselves and the impact it has had on their lives, the difference between known and anon, knowing from birth and finding out later on in life. I found the videos from VARTA really good and the SBS show as well.

  2. #882
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    Thanks @Barca07, I shall look into the videos, can I just search it on YouTube?

    I too, am not into counseling. DH thinks it's worth going just to see what they have to say because the counsellors have dealt with many similar cases and may be able to give a fresh point of view.. Perhaps he is right.

    How are you doing @Barca07? Have you transferred a frozen embryo? How is everyone else doing, all those with bubbas and those still on the journey ?

  3. #883
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    @MrsSIG: ditto Barca07, the counsellor we saw in NSW isn't very good. It was mandatory. Luckily, I found a very good one here in Perth and k have referred this particular counsellor to many. My DH only went to see the counsellor because is mandatory. I went because it helped me got through the chemical pregnancy and then the donor.

    I think there is a YouTube link under IVFA donor page. That's "insight" -- an interview with a lot of donor conceived children. Some of them also show up on sbs series as well.

  4. #884
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    @MrsSIG
    The VARTA series is called 'experiences of donor conception' it should come up in Google videos. And the SBS was on the 'insight' show.. It's should come up if you google SBS insight sperm donation

  5. #885
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    We're doing our FET on Wednesday. I figure I'm as ready and ill ever be

  6. #886
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    Quote Originally Posted by bbhope View Post
    @MrsSIG: i know some people have this dilemma so they went with a known donor. Just like Barca07 said, it never really bothers us because it was difficult enough for us to find a right donor and stay pregnant. That's the least of my concern. People get divoced, remarried with half sibling. If you are using US donor, i think the child will end up with more than 4 half sibling because there is no limitation on the US side as far as i know.
    This is my thinking as well in relation to siblings.

    I'm hoping my DS will grow up a well adjusted adult and will be able to deal with the 'genetic' side to his conception. I'm fine and comfortable with him wanting to find his donor one day. My DH and I often talk about it. I would actually like to meet him and thank him for giving us something we could never have and changing our lives

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    Barca07  (25-01-2016)

  8. #887
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    Exactly, @two souls. I am hoping DS will be able to get over with the genetic side of thing as well.

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    @two souls
    How old is you DS?
    And if it's not too personal - have you thought much about when and how you will tell him??

  10. #889
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barca07 View Post
    @two souls
    How old is you DS?
    And if it's not too personal - have you thought much about when and how you will tell him??
    He is 18 months. I've thought about it a little but I guess I keep pushing aside thinking I've got ages I don't need to think about it yet, but I should.

    I've seen some books you can get that explain and help to bring the topic up so maybe that. I've heard that if you tell them early around the 3 mark then it becomes just something they have always known. I think 3 might be a little early to give the full details but maybe just saying how special they are and how they have their own unique story.

    Other than that I'm not sure. Maybe we will get some professional help on how and when is the best time to do it.

    A concern I have is that he will just tell everyone at school and random people about how 'special' he is, when no one outside our family knows about my DH. But I guess we will just have to own it and be willing for people to find out. I also don't want him to think it is a bad thing to be donor conceived or that it is something to be ashamed about and therefore keep it a secret.

    I'm really just rambling know! So in short I will definitely tell him from a young age but I guess wait and see when we think he can understand

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    Barca07  (25-01-2016)

  12. #890
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    @two souls
    Thanks for being so honest

    I was asking because it is something I am already thinking about...How and when to tell our kids.
    I guess I should just focus on getting the baby first 😉

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    JenniwithanI  (26-01-2016)


 

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