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  1. #871
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    Sorry to hear that. I hate those insensitive comment. It is like we have a better choice. That's why we didn't say a word until it is done. My parents are actually the ones can't accept and said we haven't tried enough. It was frustrating to explain to them that it is a medical condition, no magical portion can fix that. I didn't even tell them about the donor until I was over 20w pregnant. Anyway, they are happy to have a grandkid now. That's the past.

    It is what important for both of you. Especially in this difficult time.

  2. #872
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    It's so complicated with in laws and parents. i regret mentioning it. My parents are great at being a source of strength and positivity, but DH parents are not . Ah well .. Today They sort of apologized and admitted they over reacted but it was not from the heart. I can forgive, but I won't be telling them any more insight from now on. It's not fair on me and DH

  3. #873
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    Hi all and thank you ladies for all the info on ds. DH and I are looking into it.

    We too have chosen not to tell in-laws, we dont want to complicate things and frankly i dont want their 2 cents in either :/

  4. #874
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    Hi all, I am thinking about donor sperrm, and there are some things that don't sit right with me when I think about using anonymous. I feel a bit odd that the child will have potentially 4 if not more half siblings around Australia. I don't know how I feel about that. How did you all feel about this and come to peace with it (because I know DS is where most of us end up)

  5. #875
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    @MrsSIG.
    Its good point but for some strange reason it never really bothered me. I have never really thought about it.
    And yes, it's a possibility that any future children may want to meet their half siblings in the future.

    Sorry, I'm not much help. I guess I just put it in the same basket as them wanting to meet their sperm donor.

    Have you watched any YouTube clips of donor children. There are some good Australian ones where donor kids talk about their sperm donor and donor siblings. Perhaps have a watch..it might help??

  6. #876
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    @MrsSIG: i know some people have this dilemma so they went with a known donor. Just like Barca07 said, it never really bothers us because it was difficult enough for us to find a right donor and stay pregnant. That's the least of my concern. People get divoced, remarried with half sibling. If you are using US donor, i think the child will end up with more than 4 half sibling because there is no limitation on the US side as far as i know.

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  8. #877
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    I don't know anyone who would donate to us. DH brother is too self absorbed with his own family. I'll ask DH if he has any other friends in mind who might be willing. It's really hard - I don't want a child to grow up and feel like they need to go in search of their biological heritage (father and siblings) to get a sense of where they came from.

    Ugh. And it's so hard to adopt here. I would look into adoption if I could get a baby from infancy. But The chances of that here is almost impossible given the time and cost and logistics. This all really sucks

  9. #878
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    I think you just assume all donor children want to find their heritage. Not all are keen to do that. It is a complicate situation but we will teach the child our heritage. Seeing a donor counsellor is really important because it helps us to answer all the questions we had in mind.

    My DH on one hand doesn't feel comfortable about using a known donor. Psychologically, it makes him feel weird that I am carrying his friend baby.

  10. #879
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    Ps: this is all personal choice. DH doesn't want any of his friend knows about it. Being diagnosed azoo is hard enough and letting friends know about he can't father a child is even worse for him.

  11. #880
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    This is very true, each child will deal differently... Maybe they won't even want to know..

    My DH would probably like it better knowing there was some of his family blood in the child. But it won't be an option for us.

    It's a difficult road to go down no matter the path. At the end of the day I just want/need a baby - and it really is a need because it is literally a physical ache to be a mother!!


 

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