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  1. #851
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    Hi Jimmy have you had a TESE or MTESE yet (as in surgery to see if they can find sperm) was that the results you had today?

    My partner has azoospermia and he had a TESE late last year after having the zero Sperm analysis and normal hormones results and they found sperm straight away, I did IVF the month after and now we are expecting our first child...

    So if you haven't had the biopsys yet there is hope! Also are you seeing a fertility specialist?
    Last edited by ttc1981; 06-01-2016 at 10:52.

  2. #852
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    Default Azoospermia #2

    @JimmyCricket: I am so sorry to hear the diagnosis. It is very hard breaking. The forum is dominated with wives rather than husband but I can say a little about how my husband felt at the time.

    I am surprised that BT wasn't ordered in the first place but did the surgery. Can you please explain what kind of surgery it is?

    As for finding sperms, it depends on that kind of azoospermia. If you have obstructive azoospermia like ttc1981 husband, then there is no problem at all of getting sperms. However, if it non obstructive, the chance is very low but not impossible. It really depends on if it is genetic cause or not. I would say wait until the BT result and assess. You might be lucky that it is just obstructive. Are you seeing a fertility specialist? Especially one that's specialised in male? The dr can physically check if you are missing van deferen (the tubes for sperms to travel out).

    As for donor sperms, while it is good to think ahead, it is best to wait on the result and then reassess. My husband was very against it. I was very sad and depressed. Sure, I want to have a child with him not someone else. When mtese ended with a failure, he shed a lot of tears and came to term that the only way we could have a baby is through donor. He won't deny me with a baby. It is very difficult and the feeling of not knowing what our child looks like comes back from time to time as you can read a couple posts above. My parents are very conservative and tradition. They were shocked to hear and simply couldn't understand how this could happen. It is just sad. It is a medical reason. There is nothing to be ashamed about. they were very happy when they heard that I was pregnant. As long as I am happy, they are. I guess it depends on your relationship with them. My parents like my husband. We can speak more when you actually have to use donor. For now, just concentrate of finding out the cause. Also, you both have o go through counselling to access donor sperms.

    My baby was born recently. Genetic is a weird thing since he looks very much like my husband. My husband has been here along the way. Care for him and showering with love. There is no doubt that he is the father.

    Ps: my husband did say once that he couldn't look into the child eyes and says he/she is his. That's before we did the surgery and counselling. As I mentioned, he changed his mind after the surgery. Just when Iam typing these, he is in the other room playing with our baby. It took us a long time to get pregnant. It is a long journey. I see that your fiancé has pcos. That will complicate thing.

    All the best and feel free to hang around. This thread has been a life saver for me.
    Last edited by bbhope; 06-01-2016 at 18:51.

  3. #853
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    @jmycricket
    Sorry to hear about the result.
    Like BBhope has said, DS is a long mental challenge to work through and not one you want to go down unless absolutely necessary. So best to wait for your blood test.

    My DH was OK with DS.. He is a school teacher and believes in nurture over nature. I am still a little sad that our baby won't be genetically his but when you have no other option you come to terms with it. I was a mess when we first found out and it took me weeks before I could even speak about it and many more months until I came to terms with it.

    I had the same worries about DH and our families accepting our future children. Our Son was recently stillborn and one good thing to come out of it was that everyone (including DH and families) was so supportive and grieved as if Johnny was our biological child.

  4. #854
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    Hey,

    I am a big pessimist so I am preparing myself for worst case scenario though I would like to know whats wrong with me.

    I would never deny my fiance a child either and it means that although I would be 'Father' in my head its more like I'm adopting and I can sort of get my head around that idea.

    The FS checked my area and said he could feel tubes and that my parts were slightly smaller but not outside of whats considered normal.

    He is now testing FSH and Testosterone and said we will go from there but I know if you get given this **** luck with 2 SA's with Zero then I am not holding out as I've already been destroyed once.

    I have opened lines of communication to counselling which is provided free as I want to know I'm not alone and I need to work through the thoughts that I am going to be nothing to the child -- My fiance is devastated that its not going to be truly 'Ours' and isn't sure if she wants DS herself.

    I kind of feel like I am broken goods and who would want me, Oddly enough I am more 'OK' with the concept if my fiance had a kid already I could deal with that so I think in my head its more the shock that I'll never see my own kid.

    That being said although my Dad walked out on me at the age of 2 years old I have made contact so I may ask him for a favor of his Sperm or of one of my half brothers. Though that comes with other complications.

    Why ME!!!!

  5. #855
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    Jimmy I really have to say without the extra blood tests and the surgery I think there is a lot of hope still... My partner had 2 zero sperm analysis and normal hormones and in the end he had a blocked epididymis...

    Which state are you in as everyone one on here is from all over Australia... I know bbhope went to Sydney as Perth didn't have many options while now there are two great options in Perth for TESE and Mtese and every other states has options too! I wouldn't be dealing with a GP either and going straight to a fertility specialist who specialises in male infertility, azoospermia is a lot more Common than you think!

    Like bbhope said everyone here has so much knowledge and when your going thru something like this it helps to have people who understand

  6. #856
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    @JimmyCricket: you are not alone about thinking "WHY me". All of us ladies here thought the same. It is a long hard road to come to term. I still feel sad from time to time but nothing would replace the love we have for our baby. I know some ladies who can have biological child with their husband but yet struggle to conceive despite IVF. In a way, I am grateful. The thought about donor doesn't come to my mind very often because my baby keeps me very busy and his wellbeing/health is more important to me than anything else at the moment.

    High FSH doesn't mean no hope. mTESE is the ultimate surgery. If nothing is found, then you have a closure. I would suggest you to wait until the BT result, do a TESA (needle aspiration which is not invasive) to find out what kind of azoospermia you are dealing with, then go with mTESE as an ultimate resort.

    Which state are you living in? We can direct you to the right specialist. Also, not all counsellors are equal. If the clinic one isn't good, go and find one that's specialised in donor (this will cover male infertility).

    Unfortunately, i can't speak for my husband much. Just before we went to our formal donor counselling, he did mention that people get divorced and adopting all the time so donor sperm is OK. The counselling changed his perspective a lot, though. I don't know if he sees that now. I doubt it because a father is more than just biology. As you are well known about it yourself through you own family history. We personally don't like to use "" because he isn't a stepfather but a father who is there for our baby from day 1. I can see what you are coming from and it does take a lot of time to adjust. From a woman perspective, I won't have wanted a baby if we aren't planning to raise one together. No one can replace him. He isn't a broken good. This is just an unfortunate event. Keep the communication going with your fiance. The worst you can do is shut it down.

    Yes, it is a shocked and scare to know that you might not see your own kid(s). My husband came to term with a lot of tears. He said that it is the way it is. It is the fact and we can't change anything but to accept. Me, on the other hand, took a longer time......

    I don't know much about family donation. A lot of us avoided it because it can have complication down the track. I know some ladies have done it, though. For us, family donation isn't an option. Even if there was an option, DH isn't comfortable about it at all. He doesnt want any awkwardness and complication.

    Hugs to you both. xx

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  8. #857
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    @JimmyCricket so sorry to hear of your having to join us here. As @bbhope says mainly wives here but our husbands read the threads or listen to us reading them so you are not alone. Definitely wait on bloods and look to get a good male fertility specialist. Where are you based - we can recommend three good ones in Melbourne and Sydney.

    We opted for family donation it's a very big decision took a lot of discussion and compulsory counselling with everyone involved but worked for us. We now have a beautiful four month old boy through IVF and he looks a lot like both of us; but mainly is a charmer just like his Dad!

    The journey was harrowing - you can read about it all on this thread but the end result worth every tear. Don't give up, family and parenting comes in all shapes and sizes these days. My DH has never looked back since his son arrived.

    As for the other girls, hello to you all!! Hi to those who have joined us in recent months - sorry I haven't contributed to the conversation but I am always in the background reading and supporting.
    @bbhope has been amazing with keeping the thread going thank you Hun x

  9. #858
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    I also want to give a shout out to @bbhope, thanks for all your information and advice, it really helps make a horrible journey that little bit easier when you know which specialists and hospitals are good

    @jimminyCricket

    I am very sorry about your diagnosis. I can tell you a bit about how my husband felt at the time. We also got two semen analysis with zero. First time the results came, hubby was alone to receive the results as I had gone to Brisbane. He was in such shock he nearly wanted to off himself. He also has struggled with the idea of me leaving him because he feels inadequate. While I also feel "why us" at times, there is no way my husband is inadequate... And I won't leave him. You and your partner are in a relationship for so much more than your sperm. There's so much you have to give- this one medical condition is not the defining factor.

    You have many tests and a long road ahead- you need to lean on your partner and her on you. It's the only way to get through. Great that you're also seeing a counsellor.

    Like everyone has said- wait for your blood test results and don't give up hope. And even if you do have zero sperm, there are options and lots of light at the end of the tunnel.

  10. #859
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    Other ladies who went through this journey helped me a lot in the past. I am just paying forward. Happy to help.
    @jenniwithanl: Glad to see you here. wow 4 months. Is he sleeping through the night yet? My son is 3 months old now and he is a happy goer when his stomach isn't bothering him. A lot of laugh and smiles. He is also showing off his new skill everyday. We are still waiting to see the gastro specialist. I'm tired of wait it out for his stomach problem. No improvement since he was born.
    Last edited by bbhope; 07-01-2016 at 11:34.

  11. #860
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    @JimmyCricket
    sorry for your recent news. it is a very shocking thing to try to swallow. we found out my husband has zero sperm 3 months ago and im still trying to get my head around it. if you're in Sydney, try to get an appointment with dr Golovsky, apparently hes the best with this kind of stuff. we saw dr kim @ ivf aus, she was great too. hang in there, and like the rest have said there is light at the end of the tunnel. get all your results before anything else. there is still hope with high fsh etc, microtese will be the ultimate last resort that will give you closure. good luck with it all.

    thank you all you ladies for your support and info too!

    @Jenniwithanl
    i read above you went with family donor. we too are looking at dh brother for ds if dh doesn't have any after microtese. what is involved with family ds and is the process long? did you have it as backup? im with ivf Australia atm.
    Last edited by Jojo85; 07-01-2016 at 21:26.


 

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