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  1. #61
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    That isn't true, there are professionals who think smacking is ok, there are peer reviewed studies that show that not only is it not detrimental, but actually beneficial if done the right way. I don't think it works personally, but to say every professional just isn't true.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I do hate statements about "back in my day" because yep back in my day we didn't wear bike helmets, or have car seats, or have trampoline nets and I survived - BUT many didn't which is why these new precautions were brought it, back in my day smacking was the norm but thankfully every professional in the world disagrees with it because of the long term effects and its proven over and over again that hitting children is not right - unfortunately Australia and in particular Tony Abbott disagree with the UN and the 44 other countries who have banned it

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  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThenThereWereThree View Post
    and just to clarify there is a major difference between a controlled smack on the bum and a mother losing her **** and flogging her child,

    one is legal the other is not.

    I coped a few smacks with things growing up (thong etc) and I respect my mother, I dont resent her or anything like that.

    that said I wouldnt use an object on my children as I dont think there's any point to it, if a smack with my hand doesnt work than a harder smack with an object isnt going to for long
    I agree, my point was that if people who were flogged as children managed to grow up ok, then a controlled smack is likely to not do any harm. I realise this is not the case for everyone, some may grow up and have resentment towards their parents for it, but the majority I have come across seem to talk about it lightly and think it benefited them.

  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    That isn't true, there are professionals who think smacking is ok, there are peer reviewed studies that show that not only is it not detrimental, but actually beneficial if done the right way. I don't think it works personally, but to say every professional just isn't true.
    I'd love to read the reviews about it being beneficial if you have them - especially if they followed it up later on

    I'll change it to the majority of professionals then- is there any professional groups as a whole that agrees with it here? Medical boards , psychiatrists or education department or DOCS ?

  5. #64
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    I'm not sure I buy the 'I was smacked and it didn't harm me' line. Sure I believe it may be true in some cases but that was the norm in those times so people didn't know different. Much how my 85 year old grandmother suffered from social, financial and emotional abuse from my grandfather but doesn't even acknowledge it was abuse bc that's how women were often treated back then.

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  7. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    That isn't true, there are professionals who think smacking is ok, there are peer reviewed studies that show that not only is it not detrimental, but actually beneficial if done the right way. I don't think it works personally, but to say every professional just isn't true.
    There is also a truck load of psychological evidence (peer reviewed) that states that using corporal punishment as a means of modifying children's behaviour is ineffective. That it may lead to mental health and anger management problems for the child later on, that whilst it may reap immediate short term results (as in, child did X, mother smacked, child didn't do X again for a short period of time), but that it didn't prove effective for long term results. Modifying behaviour works best on a reward system, rather than a punishment system, and for the best results of longevity, you want to inconsistently reward for good behaviour.

    There's just so much evidence out there that proves smacking, for long term purposes, is just not going to cut it. That there are much better ways out there. So yeah, all the "experts" can support it all they want, but I bet they haven't done nearly as much research into the psychological aspects and behaviour modification as perhaps they could have

    But to the OP itself, I wouldn't have said anything, despite the fact that I would have felt uncomfortable. Smacking, as much as some of us hate it, is still within a parents legal right to use as a form of discipline so long as it stays with the reasonable force limits, and is restricted to below the waist (if I remember correctly).

    There's no point placing judgement and confronting the parent in question, after the fact. It's only going to get her back up, make her defensive and any potential conversation about alternatives/whatever is just going to fall on deaf ears. I would have just let her do her thing, and silently wish that I didn't just witness it.

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    Ill link the studies I read yesterday (after this thread it got me interested). Not sure about any organisations, I didn't get that far to be honest.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I'd love to read the reviews about it being beneficial if you have them - especially if they followed it up later on

    I'll change it to the majority of professionals then- is there any professional groups as a whole that agrees with it here? Medical boards , psychiatrists or education department or DOCS ?

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    I agree with you, everything you said, I don't think corporal punishment works, well, it certainly didn't work with my brother, he was always getting the cane at school (which my mother completely objected to) but he didn't change his behaviour.

    But as you said, while I don't think it works, and know that there are better ways, I wouldn't say anything to a parent who did it, because at this point in time it is legal. If that changes in the future, then I'd reconsider my position.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lillynix View Post
    There is also a truck load of psychological evidence (peer reviewed) that states that using corporal punishment as a means of modifying children's behaviour is ineffective. That it may lead to mental health and anger management problems for the child later on, that whilst it may reap immediate short term results (as in, child did X, mother smacked, child didn't do X again for a short period of time), but that it didn't prove effective for long term results. Modifying behaviour works best on a reward system, rather than a punishment system, and for the best results of longevity, you want to inconsistently reward for good behaviour.

    There's just so much evidence out there that proves smacking, for long term purposes, is just not going to cut it. That there are much better ways out there. So yeah, all the "experts" can support it all they want, but I bet they haven't done nearly as much research into the psychological aspects and behaviour modification as perhaps they could have

    But to the OP itself, I wouldn't have said anything, despite the fact that I would have felt uncomfortable. Smacking, as much as some of us hate it, is still within a parents legal right to use as a form of discipline so long as it stays with the reasonable force limits, and is restricted to below the waist (if I remember correctly).

    There's no point placing judgement and confronting the parent in question, after the fact. It's only going to get her back up, make her defensive and any potential conversation about alternatives/whatever is just going to fall on deaf ears. I would have just let her do her thing, and silently wish that I didn't just witness it.

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    Marjorie Gunnone is the author of the study I was referring to.

    I do want to reiterate, I don't believe smacking works. It would be interesting to see the changes in each country after bans were introduced. And I'm not sure why we are lagging behind in terms of the law?

    Also, I've just spent the last hour reading peer reviewed studies on why corporal punishment is not good. Obviously the overwhelming majority backs up this view. But I did notice that all the studies that I read made no distinction between a tap on the bum as punishments and punishment that included beatings with a belt or spoon. I would be very interested in studies done where the only form of discipline was with a smack on the bum or hand. As far as I am concerned a smack on the bum is worlds apart from an abusive beating, although neither are effective in my view.

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    I personally don't smack and I don't like to see other parents smacking their kids. Apart from being mean, I just think that you teach by example and it surely must send confusing messages to a child if you tell them not to hit someone else but then you are allowed to hit them.

    Also, from the parents I know who do smack, it doesn't seem to work. I had a co-worker tell me once that her daughter was always touching the TV and she had to smack her for it all the time. Now I may be wrong, but surely if smacking worked, you'd only have to do it once or twice to stop the behaviour. She then went on to say that when her daughter heard the words "you'll get a smack" she would put her hands over her butt and start crying. She then laughed as if seeing her child cry in fear was funny to her.

    Another example, a former friend who's 1 year old kept hitting her and her husband. She decided that every time he did it she'd smack him back, then point at him and say no. A few days later, her son was still hitting her, but also following it up by pointing at her and saying no.

    So yeah in my experience, not a very effective tool for discipline.

  14. #70
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I wonder why the child thinks it's ok to hit his mum? Hitting a kid for hitting just makes no sense to me
    Totally agree. I'm going to hit you so you leaen not to hit others? Makes no sense.

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