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  1. #51
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    Default Smacking - would you have said something/ do you agree

    Quote Originally Posted by peanuthead View Post
    But that's not what the op described, no steam or anything. Just that she took her child away to discipline him. I have eyes and a brain too, I can see when my child is not responding to other discipline tactics and a smack on the bum might be needed (as determined by me, the child's mother, the one who also has eyes and a brain). Giving my child a smack doesn't mean I've lost control, nor does it mean I need help.
    Agreed if it's coming from a place of anger than your walking a fine line, but not every mother who smacks is in that category.
    It might not be a sign that the mother needs 'help' and I will probably get flamed for this but I am going to go out on a limb anyway and say that it's usually a sign the mother could benefit from a parenting skills workshop or something similar.
    - in the case the OP mentioned the lack of her action early on led to the overly dramatic ending. Yes I am blaming her. Sounds like she could definitely benefit from a toddler skills class. And believe it or not I am not saying that from a malicious point of view. Toddlers can be bloody hard work- if there was a workshop at my local community centre I would go.
    Last edited by VicPark; 14-02-2015 at 16:49.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It might not be a sign that the mother needs 'help' and I will probably get flamed for this but I am going to go out on a limb anyway and say that it's usually a sign the mother could benefit from a parenting skills workshop or something similar.
    - in the case the OP mentioned the lack of her action early on led to the overly dramatic ending. Yes I am blaming her. Sounds like she could definitely benefit from a toddler skills class. And believe it or not I am not saying that from a malicious point of view. Toddlers can be bloody hard work- if there was a workshop at my local community centre I would go.
    I actually do believe you are not being malicious in saying that. But there are well educated, competent mothers who still choose to smack, and if it's an informed decision that's executed with control and not out of anger and is effective for that child/family then frankly it's not really anybody else's place to judge.

    If you are genuinely concerned that the child is being abused by all means step up. But if it's a simple smack on the bum because the kid was naughty then the mother is really not doing anything wrong.

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  5. #53
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    Bring on the day smacking is outlawed!

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  7. #54
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    Default Smacking - would you have said something/ do you agree

    Quote Originally Posted by peanuthead View Post
    If you are genuinely concerned that the child is being abused by all means step up. But if it's a simple smack on the bum because the kid was naughty then the mother is really not doing anything wrong.
    Will do. As for the second scenario I wouldn't say anything without being invited to. Although I think we will have to agree to disagree - I do think it's wrong, Unecessary and I will judge the mum albeit silently.

    And nope I'm not perfect- there are things I judge myself for..
    Last edited by VicPark; 14-02-2015 at 18:13.

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  9. #55
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    I'm not an advocate for smacking. I live in a country now where it is against the law.
    But when ds1 was young it wasn't.
    This is also before diagnosis.
    I would always pull him in to a private room or place to tell him off. I believe that you can respect the child's dignity and respect for them self while teaching them how to behave.
    A quick smack on the bum or a quick talking to. Both worked for me. Now I have not smacked in years but I am still of the opinion that if used in control and as the last option it is a parents right.
    I was raised by the whip. My mother had no respect for us.
    It took me a long time to get any respect for myself. I'm not going to judge any mum but I will stand up for a kid in trouble.

  10. #56
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    Default Smacking - would you have said something/ do you agree

    I would have thought good on her for disciplining him. I'm so sick of children at playgroup/playgrounds etc. swearing, yelling, snatching, shoving, hitting other kids and the mothers just sit there and gas bag away completely ignoring it. Maybe she's tried naughty corner, talking to him, taking toys away and nothing has worked? If it worked to correct his bad behaviour then great.

    I know people hate this statement, but seriously how many of our parents/grandparents/siblings were absolutely flogged as children and lo and behold they are now respectful normal adults. Compare this to the some of the horrible children around now, 5 year olds saying c*** and seriously violent behaviour that have never been smacked. What do you think they will grow up to be like? (I work with children so have seen it all) I know my husband was belted when he was naughty, and now he is a beautiful respectful man who adores his father and vice versa. (Not saying that is why he is a good man just that it didn't have any negative effects on him.) In saying all this I have only smacked my child once for running onto a road, however he is a very good boy, if he were naughty I may discipline differently.
    Last edited by SpicyTurtle; 15-02-2015 at 09:37.

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  12. #57
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  13. #58
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    I do hate statements about "back in my day" because yep back in my day we didn't wear bike helmets, or have car seats, or have trampoline nets and I survived - BUT many didn't which is why these new precautions were brought it, back in my day smacking was the norm but thankfully every professional in the world disagrees with it because of the long term effects and its proven over and over again that hitting children is not right - unfortunately Australia and in particular Tony Abbott disagree with the UN and the 44 other countries who have banned it

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  15. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Did you not read my response where I said my actions would vary depending on the severity of the hitting?

    My calling the police would only be for the most severe cases (yes as determined by me at the time). And yes there are many cases where a parent hitting their child with vigour indicates a deeper problem within that family (stress, depression, drug abuse whatever). And yes police involvement is needed to ensure the safety if the child and that the mother gets the help she needs.

    I think we must have been on different wavelengths as I really don't think you would advocate turning a blind to child abuse?
    just as I wouldnt comment on how 'wrong' I may or may not feel that you use tizzie hall or cc/cio methods with your child youve no right to comment on another who is parenting within legal frames,

    tizzie hall gives ME the heebie jeebies but hey its not my kid

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  17. #60
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    and just to clarify there is a major difference between a controlled smack on the bum and a mother losing her **** and flogging her child,

    one is legal the other is not.

    I coped a few smacks with things growing up (thong etc) and I respect my mother, I dont resent her or anything like that.

    that said I wouldnt use an object on my children as I dont think there's any point to it, if a smack with my hand doesnt work than a harder smack with an object isnt going to for long


 

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