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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialK View Post
    I moved out today too!
    My DH is also abusive.
    I'm done, hopefully if it's what you want the pair of you can work it out.
    Stay strong!
    I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out but good on you for moving on!

    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    Thanks ladies. It feels good to let someone know what's going on.

    I have only moved into our granny flat, self contained but still attached to the house, we will live separately like this for the time being.

    My goal is to be happily married to my DH. Things weren't always like this, it has gotten progressively worse and I think the stress of IVF has impacted it. He shows remorse for his behaviour and is trying to get help. I guess I just don't want to ride it out while it's so bad. Hopefully we can regroup when things improve.

    We don't have children and I doubt we ever will now but that isn't a priority right now.
    If you're faced with the possibility of never having children, it's highly likely that's what's behind his behaviour. Men don't process these things the same as women.

    It doesn't make it right and it certainly doesn't excuse the way he's been treating you but it does give hope that with time you will be able to work through this.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Apple iPhart6 For This Useful Post:

    mummymaybe  (12-02-2015),SpecialK  (12-02-2015)

  3. #12
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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apple iPhart6 View Post
    I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out but good on you for moving on!



    If you're faced with the possibility of never having children, it's highly likely that's what's behind his behaviour. Men don't process these things the same as women.

    It doesn't make it right and it certainly doesn't excuse the way he's been treating you but it does give hope that with time you will be able to work through this.
    I think what the OP meant is that now she has moved out, and is considering her options, they may not have children.

    OP, I have no advice just

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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    I think what the OP meant is that now she has moved out, and is considering her options, they may not have children.

    OP, I have no advice just
    We have no children. We have been given very slim chances of achieving a pregnancy so even if things work out we probably won't be able to have kids. Adoption or donor embryos would be options if we wanted.

  6. #15
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi mummymaybe, I hope everything works out for you. I wish you happiness and success, hugs, marie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    We have no children. We have been given very slim chances of achieving a pregnancy so even if things work out we probably won't be able to have kids. Adoption or donor embryos would be options if we wanted.
    Oh, I see. I am very sorry to hear that.

    In that case, I think it is possible that this may be a reason why he is lashing out. Doesn't make it ok, but it, at least, makes sense.

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    @mummymaybe You have made the right decision putting your foot down and showing your husband that his behaviour is not acceptable. I think issues TTC can really put a huge strain on a relationship but nothing can justify abusing your spouse in such a way. I hope your husband realises what he is loosing and will get help. Sending you hugs x

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    What have I done? DH has been crying for the last hour he is devastated and desperate to improve things. I feel so stupid.

  10. #19
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    Stay strong hun, it hurts now but you needed to do this in order for your DH to appreciate you. You can't live under those conditions anymore, he needs counselling to realise that his behaviour has been unacceptable and hurtful.

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    Start small for your confidence. Go on a morning walk. Meet with friends. Get some people in your corner holding your hand and helping you through. We went through very tough times in Ivf and you would hope that your DH had the skills deal with it. Good luck OP


 

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