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  1. #1
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    Default Help with sleep for 3.5 month old

    Long time lurker, posting for some advice with my 3.5 month old's overnight sleep and settling.

    I haven't followed any routine to the letter but have read SOS and we do have the 7pm bedtime; I also try to adhere to the Eat, Play, Sleep during the day.

    A typical night for us is:

    6pm - feed
    6.30pm - bath
    6.45pm - cuddles/books/relax
    7pm - bed time; we put her in the cot, in a Love to Dream swaddle with the arms up and a dummy, she normal goes to sleep within 5-10 minutes with little protest (maybe grizzly, but no cry).
    Between 7.30-8.30 she'll normally wake up crying and we pop her dummy back in.
    10pm - dreamfeed
    12.30 ish - wakes up, normally resettles within 5-15 minutes,
    2am ish - wakes, won't resettle, pop dummy in a few times, end up feeding - not sure if she's that hungry. Generally falls asleep on breast and put back to bed (no dummy if she's asleep).
    4am - 6am - as per 2am. But wakes every 30-40 minutes.
    6.30- 7am - up for the day

    Couple of other points - she's breastfed, but I've just started giving formula for the dreamfeed.

    Sleeps with aircon on and room is 23-24 degrees, we live in the tropics so night time temps without aircon approx 28 deg and sticky.

    Daytime is still a bit all over the place, she's only just started sleeping longer than 45m blocks. Can be up anywhere between 1-3hrs happily.

    So, any suggestions to help with the frequent waking? I'm regretting the dummy somewhat - should I get rid of it now? How painful is that going to be? i don't think it'll be too long before I'll need to have her arms out of the swaddle as she rolls from front to back already and from back to side. When bubs cries during the night how long for you leave them to resettle; I'm not adverse to leaving her to grizzle/cry in order to resettle, but I'm not sure how long? I'm thinking about introducing a comforter.

    Sorry this post is a bit all over the place! I think she's ready now to have a more structured routine, and I'd really love her to start having a decent uninterrupted nighttime sleep (happy to feed, but would love her to be able to resettle).

    Thanks for reading

  2. #2
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    In my experience (have a DD now 22 months old) this sounds pretty normal for 3.5 months old. I get where you are coming from in wanting her to have more structure/longer blocks of sleep at night but again, in my experience, their little routines change so much and so often I learnt that it wasn't worth getting hung up on and to just go with my DDs flow.

    At 3.5 months you still have so many potential sleep/routine changing and interrupting events ahead... Sleep regressions, teething, coughs and colds etc. As soon as I just accepted that things were always in a state of flux sleep-wise and that was OK I started to cope much better and DD probably did too.

    I BF DD each time she woke and she started sleeping through of her own accord consistently by 16/17 months. By about 12 months we were down to one wake up a night most nights.

    Totally up to you re dummy. My DD is an enthusiastic sucker and has been since the second she was born so she still has her dummy, but if your DD isn't overly attached then by all means take it away. Just be prepared for the fact that it might not be a miracle overnight fix!

    Sorry, I know I haven't answered many if your questions specifically but just wanted to share my experiences to let you know that you are not alone. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and above all your DD and her sleeping sounds very, very normal for her age. Good luck!

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    Gracie81  (03-02-2015)

  4. #3
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    I also follow SOS, and my baby is just over 4 months now. Firstly it sounds like things are going pretty well. If this is your first baby (?) all that night waking probably feels like torture, but it really isn't all that unusual.
    I would get rid of the dummy- or at least try to keep it only for emergencies - screaming in the car, overtired and won't settle. For everyday I would try and leave bub to settle without it as much as possible.
    My baby still has 1-2 feeds overnight ( I don't do dream feed), so I think this is reasonable.
    Are you following the SOS guide for how warm to dress bub? Sounds like you have a pretty constant temperature so getting cold shouldn't be a problem.
    I would leave bub about 5 mins overnight to see if they resettle if you can and they're not getting too upset, but only if they haven't fallen asleep with dummy at beginning of the night.
    Is bub just having the 3 day sleeps? Are you able to stick to the SOS routine during the day, I think that makes a difference too.
    If the extra night wakes are new, might be the 4 month sleep regression, in which case I would get rid of dummy and continue what you're doing.
    If it were me I would probably get rid of dummy first, then when bub is okay with that get rid of swaddle

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    Gracie81  (03-02-2015)

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    Default Help with sleep for 3.5 month old

    If you want to ditch the frequent wakings then ditch the dummy ASAP.

    Have a look at the below article on the 4 month sleep regression which. You may be affected by a little early. Basically don't automatically assume bub needs a feed. Try and resettle it at before feeding. Don't pat/rock/feed/dummy to sleep as when bub wakes between cycles bub will look for that aid and crack it if it is not there :
    https://childsleepscience.wordpress....done-about-it/

    This is all key to SOS. Happy to answer questions

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    Gracie81  (03-02-2015),LittleBug'sMum  (03-02-2015)

  8. #5
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    I know you mentioned aircon & room temp, is it possible bub is cold? My dd was waking around 4am, i put an extra blanket on & she now sleeps until 6. I dont know how heavy/ warm the swaddle is, but sometimes i think a blanket over them & tucked in tightly is good because it makes them feel secure & they have a bit of weight over them - might not apply to you, but just an idea.

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    Gracie81  (03-02-2015)

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    Sounds pretty normal to me for that age. Both my babies were pretty erratic at that age. DS is 6mo now and he's still waking 1-3 times at night, sometimes he sleeps through. I have no expectation that he'll consistently sleep through any time soon. DD was still doing a night feed until after 1yo (DD was formula fed from 3mo, DS from 5mo). I used a dummy for both, never had any issues with it for DD - she'd spit it out once asleep and I didn't have to keep putting it back in. DS will often spit it out and chew his fingers instead, or just go off to sleep without it. Dummies are awesome, they've been brilliant for my kids.

    At 4mo their sleep changes, it's not really a regression, just a maturation of their sleep, so expect things to change soon. Somewhere between 4-6 months you will likely see her start to settle better at night.

    Good luck!

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    Gracie81  (03-02-2015)

  12. #7
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    Thank you everyone for the responses - much appreciated. Yes, it's my first baby and reassuring to know it's all normal - I think I need to readjust my expectations.

    I haven't been following a routine during the day, but will start doing SOS.

    Last night DD woke up approx hourly from 10pm - 7am. I put her dummy in each time, but at 2am and 4am I ended up feeding as she kept waking after 5-10 minutes. Neither feed lasted long, and I dont think she was hungry at the 2am feed. I'm going to ditch the dummy and leave her try to try and resettle herself at night.

    Couple of questions:-

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    Oops - my questions

    If she doesn't stop crying within 5 minutes and I go in to stroke her forehead do I talk/shhh?

    I just do the above until she's calmed down and then leave the room while she's still awake?

    How do I know if it's genuine hunger vs just waking up? Hopefully I'll recognise the cry?

    Thanks for that article @VicPark - that's the best explanation I've seen for sleep reg.

    Cheers

  14. #9
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    Also, forgot to add that yes she was sleeping better than this. When I first introduced the dreamfeed (at around 9 weeks), she was sleeping from 7pm - 3am with no wake ups. I thought we'd made it haha

  15. #10
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    Oh yes, that sounds like a bad night now! I think definately give up the dummy. I would shush/pat whatever calms her, but try to leave her calm but awake. If she used to only wake at 3am then I would be inclined to feed then, but not at other wakes.
    I'm assuming she is gaining weight fine and there are no problems there.
    It is really hard when you just want to get some sleep in the middle of the night!
    Has the dreamfeed always been formula or has this changed recently?

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