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  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Again, different scenario, you had someone else in the building know he was there and could get him if he cried, there was a fire or god forbid you never came back.

    I think peoples attempts to ensure amazing queen from awesometown could see the difference between what she did and what the OPs friend did so threw about other okay scenarios, but that doesn't make what you did neglectful either.

    You basically left him with another adult In the same property.... Very different from the OPs friend did as well.
    Don't you see though, many people are going to have a reasonable explanation for what others are screaming neglect for, minus the driving to the shops.

    I didn't ask my landlord to look after DS, I didn't say 'hey, I'm running outside, can you listen for DS?' He did see me in the hall and I said 'I'm just moving our car quickly.' I know he wouldn't have gone up if DS was crying, unless it was going on for ages and he worried that maybe I hadn't come back. But he's very conscious of making sure he doesn't invade our privacy. Obviously if there was a fire or he heard unusual noises he would investigate or run up.

    But the scenario of a woman locking her door and walking away to compose herself is the same thing, a woman doing that would probably have an eye on her house the whole time.

    My point is, none of us are perfect. And aside from something like driving to the shops while your baby sleeps (which everyone in this thread has agreed was a huge no-no) most would have a reasonable explanation for a choice they made and everyone needs to put their judgey pants away.

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  3. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    Don't you see though, many people are going to have a reasonable explanation for what others are screaming neglect for, minus the driving to the shops.
    .
    It doesn't matter what the reasons are if the absence is far and long enough to be damaging to bub then that's the issue, that's neglect.
    - For the record I don't think standing in front of your next door neighbors house or anything while bub is sleeping inside is damaging to bub/neglect.

  4. #153
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    Default Leaving sleeping baby at home..alone?!

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It doesn't matter what the reasons are if the absence is far and long enough to be damaging to bub then that's the issue, that's neglect.
    - For the record I don't think standing in front of your next door neighbors house or anything while bub is sleeping inside is damaging to bub/neglect.
    But somebody just posted a story of a baby dying while the mom talked to the neighbor.... I went further than next door.

    Tragedies happen constantly, even while you're home. Even while you're in the same room. I'm not saying let's all meet on the corner or down the street for a drink while our babies sleep, hop in our cars and drive to the shops. But let's friggin acknowledge that all parents do something another wouldn't, making their own risk assessment and thought out decisions. Yes there are stupid people or people where something didn't occur to them but most people are good parents and you are catching a glimpse into their lives.

    What's the point in throwing out hypotheticals and fine tuning them when somebody says they've done something similar? I think we would all agree on the difference between a genuine accident or neglect when faced with it so I don't see the point in making everyone feel like shiz.

    Eta: for the record this thread has made me think I won't run out to move the car again because what if his breathing monitor had gone off.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 05-02-2015 at 05:35.

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  6. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I walked out of my house, locked the door and ran a few houses down to reverse our car into the front of our house once DS was down for the night. I explained why in an earlier post.

    We live in a converted Edwardian house, you open the front door and it's a door with stairs up to our flat and a door to our landlord's flat on the ground floor. He knew I was home alone and that DS was up there and obviously he has keys. He knew I had run out.

    Glad to hear many on here brand me a neglectful mom and would report me for leaving my property and running a little down the street.
    Completely different. You had someone there who knew what you were doing.

    I know in your next post you say that you didn't ask him to keep an eye/ear out for your DS, but you DID tell him what you were doing and he knew your son was up there.

    And the story I posted about the child who died while the mom was next door, I posted to show that things happen so fast. Not that she was neglectful.
    Now, she did lock the front door, so yes I would class it as neglectful. And it was a continued pattern and led to her other children being removed from her care... but the story was just to highlight the issue.

    And, yes, technically what you did (if you honestly believe your landlord would have done nothing for your son if necessary) is neglect. Doesn't mean I'd report you. I may consider it, if I had seen you do it and not seen anyone else keeping an eye on the child, yes.
    Last edited by DT75; 05-02-2015 at 10:11.

  7. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    I do not think this case would be labelled abuse.
    Neglect, yes.
    Which is still serious.
    Yes I agree, but at one point the two words were being used interchangeably, which didn't sit right with me.

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  9. #156
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    I can see this thread has sparked a lot of discussion. In no way was what my friend did okay. Children, most especially babies, are completely at their carer's mercy. To leave a child unattended, locked in a house, room, or car, IS extreme negligence!

    As as update, I have spoken with my friend. She said it was a once off & it has never happened before. I told her how much it bothered & upset me, & that she can feel free to leave her baby with me any time I'm home if she needs to go out. We were both in tears as I listed some of the potential scenarios. So I think she realised how severe her mistake was by my emotion. I believe she has turned a corner & as a new parent perhaps the full weight of responsibility hadn't hit her yet. Not an excuse, but not everyone copes with the transition to parenting with ease. Plus I don't think these people realise they aren't coping. I am so glad I have said what I did, rather than leave it.

    Best wishes to you all & I hope none of you run into someone else who may have done similar.

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  11. #157
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    But neglect us a form of child abuse, which is WHY the terms are used interchangably. There are many different forms of child abuse, all ranging in severity. Just because neglect may not be as severe and obvious as sexual abuse, for example, doesnt change the fact that it is abuse.

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  13. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    But neglect us a form of child abuse, which is WHY the terms are used interchangably. There are many different forms of child abuse, all ranging in severity. Just because neglect may not be as severe and obvious as sexual abuse, for example, doesnt change the fact that it is abuse.
    Your opinion. I disagree.

  14. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by HopefulK View Post
    Your opinion. I disagree.
    ... no, not my opinion. Fact. Neglect is defined as a form of child abuse, legally, in australia. I have done training in child abuse and child protection, both at university & in my workplace. Neglect IS a form of abuse, that is a fact, not an opinion.

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  16. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by mezzo View Post
    I can see this thread has sparked a lot of discussion. In no way was what my friend did okay. Children, most especially babies, are completely at their carer's mercy. To leave a child unattended, locked in a house, room, or car, IS extreme negligence!

    As as update, I have spoken with my friend. She said it was a once off & it has never happened before. I told her how much it bothered & upset me, & that she can feel free to leave her baby with me any time I'm home if she needs to go out. We were both in tears as I listed some of the potential scenarios. So I think she realised how severe her mistake was by my emotion. I believe she has turned a corner & as a new parent perhaps the full weight of responsibility hadn't hit her yet. Not an excuse, but not everyone copes with the transition to parenting with ease. Plus I don't think these people realise they aren't coping. I am so glad I have said what I did, rather than leave it.

    Best wishes to you all & I hope none of you run into someone else who may have done similar.
    I really hope your find takes you up on your offer, should she need to.
    And I wish her all the best.


 

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