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  1. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopeful1986 View Post
    What's your point?

    All I'm saying is that to me it's not neglect. It's extremely stupid and irresponsible, and yes, she needs to pull her head in, but that one act I struggle to see how it's neglect or abuse. There's no point telling me "that's the law"...thanks I'm aware. Laws in a few states also say age of consent is 16...doesn't mean I have to agree with it.
    Unless you (or someone you know( are having sex with someone under 16 in those states, I can't see how agreeing or not is a problem.

  2. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    There is absolutely no need to lock the door and walk down the road. She could have gone and sat in the garden, leaving the house is inexcusable.

    My question is why is she not coping to the point that needs to lock her child inside the house and the walk down the road in order to get peace and calm?

    Yes motherhood isn't easy, and everyone has days where they just want to walk away but if you're at the point where you are walking away (even if just for 10 minutes) then perhaps you need some sort of support or help.
    @AMC14 was providing a hypothetical story. But your points are valid.

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  4. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    There is absolutely no need to lock the door and walk down the road. She could have gone and sat in the garden, leaving the house is inexcusable.

    My question is why is she not coping to the point that needs to lock her child inside the house and the walk down the road in order to get peace and calm?

    Yes motherhood isn't easy, and everyone has days where they just want to walk away but if you're at the point where you are walking away (even if just for 10 minutes) then perhaps you need some sort of support or help.


    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    @AMC14 was providing a hypothetical story. But your points are valid.
    Absolutely it was hypothetical, it is not something I would personally do however I don't doubt it happens.

    Maybe she hasn't got family or friends I really don't know.. Every situation os different isn't it.

    Some women just don't have the support and perhaps don't know where to look for it so walking away for 10mins is their saving grace.

    Im lucky enough to have an awesome DF who I can say to "you know what I need a break I'm going out for an hour" and off I go. Some people don't have that.

  5. #134
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    There is absolutely no need to lock the door and walk down the road. She could have gone and sat in the garden, leaving the house is inexcusable.

    My question is why is she not coping to the point that needs to lock her child inside the house and the walk down the road in order to get peace and calm?

    Yes motherhood isn't easy, and everyone has days where they just want to walk away but if you're at the point where you are walking away (even if just for 10 minutes) then perhaps you need some sort of support or help.
    Because some houses are small and she may have needed to not hear the crying for a bit? And I put my son in his bed and walk to the curb often when my bin is out on bin days or if DH forgotten to take it in. And I hang my washing out - my clothesline is further away from my sons room than the curb... just a bit of perspective. When you've got a baby who cries all day and most of the night, you can have the most amazing supportive people around you and still feel at breaking point every now and again. I personally used to pop my DS3 in his cot and go have a shower. I knew he was safe and it drowned out the crying and gave me a chance to regroup.

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  7. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    Because some houses are small and she may have needed to not hear the crying for a bit? And I put my son in his bed and walk to the curb often when my bin is out on bin days or if DH forgotten to take it in. And I hang my washing out - my clothesline is further away from my sons room than the curb... just a bit of perspective. When you've got a baby who cries all day and most of the night, you can have the most amazing supportive people around you and still feel at breaking point every now and again. I personally used to pop my DS3 in his cot and go have a shower. I knew he was safe and it drowned out the crying and gave me a chance to regroup.
    I still don't see that as a valid reason for the locked door?

    Completely understand parents needing a break, or a time out.

    I worked as a nanny, and my last job was 12+ hours a day, 5 days a week. Before that, it was 15 hours a day, 7 days a week.
    There were times when I considered stepping outside too. And there were days when I did. But, never, would I lock the door or leave the property.

  8. #136
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    I am not sure about the locked door to be honest, but I also dont see it as such a huge issue so long as she had keys on her? But im just sayijg thay that particular scenario doesnt set off alarm bells for me. I'd rather a mother step out front for a moment and take a breather than not have that chance to regroup and potentially harm their baby because they cannot cope.

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  10. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    Which is completely different to leaving the house and walking down the road!!
    Can you not see that the two are incomparable!
    Calm down there is no need to get defensive and attacking. I will admit I misread it as she walked out to the front of her house, which I saw no issue with at all. Now that makes a little more sense in the locking the door part. so no I wouldnt walk down the road. But out to the curb? Yup totally would.

  11. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Look, I'm really not trying to single you out or anything. But you keep saying you don't see it as neglect. That doesn't make it so.

    My problem is not with you, at all. My problem is with the sense of dismissal. That because it may be a once off, it's ok to let it go. That is slightly terrifying. That's all I'm trying to say.

    Sorry if it seems I am singling you out, or if I caused offence in any way.
    Here's the thing though...I never once said it would be okay to let it go. I don't think anyone really did tbh.
    Last edited by hopeful1986; 04-02-2015 at 17:33.

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  13. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    My SIL's nanny left the youngest alone at home while she went and pick up the other kid from school.

    The toddler was probably 3yo, awake and left alone for 20-25min.
    They live on the 15th floor.

    Your post gave me shivers @Party of Three.

    No need to say that the nanny got the boot. ������
    So scary What was the nanny thinking?

  14. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopeful1986 View Post
    Here's the thing though...I never once said it would be okay to let it go. I don't think anyone really did tbh.
    No. Not outright. But it was more than implied.
    Saying that reporting, or calling her out on it, is going too far.
    It's not.


 

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