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  1. #101
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    Do I thinj what the Op's friend did is ok? Nope, dont leave a baby home while you nip to the shops.

    Do I think, in the absence of any other alarming behaviour, that the mother doing this once warrants being reported? No.

    Would I tell them that I thibk its is not a good idea, potentially dangerous and worrying? Yup.

    If it happened more than onve or became a regular occurrence or there was other alarming behaviour to go along with this, then I'd consider reporting. But not for an isolated incident.

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    It is a serious case of neglect.
    She left a 'sleeping' (we don't actually know that this is true) child at home alone. God knows for how long.
    I am aware of what legislation says, but for the case of the OP, for an isolated incident, which as far as we know it is, I don't think instantly calling to report is the answer. It is far better to have a chat about it with your friend, than to take further action at this point.

    Some people are more oblivious to risks than others, perhaps she *genuinely* thought it would be okay since her child was sleeping and is a great sleeper. Isn't it better to give her a heads up that it's not a great idea and can get her in to lots of trouble with various departments, than to just dob her in?

    We're not talking about her starving or beating her child, the child was not in any immediate danger, it has the potential to be a one time situation so long as someone takes the time to say something to her. A one time situation, of this kind, does not warrant a report, in my opinion.

    I would much rather see those child welfare resources going towards children who are at immediate risks get the attention they need, than for someone to take time out from their already overloaded day to have a chat about something that a friend could have done.

    Please don't get me wrong, I am not at all trying to make light of the situation, nor suggest that people shouldn't be reporting situations that are abusive and neglectful, but a little bit of common sense should come in to play here as well. If you think you can stop this from happening again by having a chat with someone, then that should be the first action taken. If you suspect it happens on a regular basis, then perhaps give the police a call and let them take it from there.

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  5. #103
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    As far as we know, yes it has happened once. That does not mean it has happened once though.
    I would rather people were more willing to report, than constantly saying "oh, it's probably just a one-time thing" or similar. It is not worth the chance that it is not a lone incident.

    ETA: And, yes, I agree that talking to the person should be your first step. But from what the OP has said, the woman doesn't seem to get that it is neglect. So I have zero confidence that this will be a one off.

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  7. #104
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    @DT75, I agree that more people need to be willing to report certain things. Absolutely they do, we need to get out of this 'bystander effect' that seems to be plaguing society. But I still think that there is a time and a place, and if people are ever confused or unsure if something is worth reporting to child services or not, call your local police station first and speak to someone. I don't think that always making child services the first point of call for all situations is helpful to anyone.

  8. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillynix View Post
    @DT75, I agree that more people need to be willing to report certain things. Absolutely they do, we need to get out of this 'bystander effect' that seems to be plaguing society. But I still think that there is a time and a place, and if people are ever confused or unsure if something is worth reporting to child services or not, call your local police station first and speak to someone. I don't think that always making child services the first point of call for all situations is helpful to anyone.
    I agree. And I didn't actually say it needed to be reported to DOCS, just reported. To her family, the father, police, DOCS...anyone who can make her see the danger.

  9. #106
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    Talking to her or telling someone close to her is a good idea, but reporting it to DoCS...they are already bombarded with enough serious cases of child abuse, I feel like it's a waste of resources to report something like this, unless other signs were showing and there was actual neglect going on that was hurting the baby.

    I know what she did was pretty terrible, but when I compare this scenario to the one my little SIL is going through (which involves DoCS), sorry, I just don't see how what she did was abuse. Silly and irresponsible, but not abuse.

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  11. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopeful1986 View Post
    Talking to her or telling someone close to her is a good idea, but reporting it to DoCS...they are already bombarded with enough serious cases of child abuse, I feel like it's a waste of resources to report something like this, unless other signs were showing and there was actual neglect going on that was hurting the baby.

    I know what she did was pretty terrible, but when I compare this scenario to the one my little SIL is going through (which involves DoCS), sorry, I just don't see how what she did was abuse. Silly and irresponsible, but not abuse.
    Say this woman does this on a regular basis. Is that serious enough?

    Sorry, DoCS isn't just for reporting people who are beating/starving their kids. It is for neglect and other abuse too.

    Leaving a 1 year old home alone is neglect, even IF it is only once.

    I used to work in social services. We would not remove a child in a case like this, but we would investigate. It is serious.

    Like I said, it doesn't have to be DoCS you involve OP. Letting her family know is a good idea though as they can keep an eye out.

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  13. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Say this woman does this on a regular basis. Is that serious enough?

    Sorry, DoCS isn't just for reporting people who are beating/starving their kids. It is for neglect and other abuse too.

    Leaving a 1 year old home alone is neglect, even IF it is only once.

    I used to work in social services. We would not remove a child in a case like this, but we would investigate. It is serious.

    Like I said, it doesn't have to be DoCS you involve OP. Letting her family know is a good idea though as they can keep an eye out.
    You don't know that she does... Once she made a bad choice, how many of us as mums haven't made a couple of bad choices? None of us are perfect! Im pretty sure on this forum none of us have proclaimed to be a perfect parent!

    Im pretty sure the OP would be on it now and as she has previously stated will talk to her friend.

    Let's not crucify the poor woman based on 1 bad choice

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  15. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by AMC14 View Post
    You don't know that she does... Once she made a bad choice, how many of us as mums haven't made a couple of bad choices? None of us are perfect! Im pretty sure on this forum none of us have proclaimed to be a perfect parent!

    Im pretty sure the OP would be on it now and as she has previously stated will talk to her friend.

    Let's not crucify the poor woman based on 1 bad choice
    Where did I say that she does?

    I just find that completely dismissing the thought of reporting someone, is a bad idea.
    I'm not saying she should be reported. But saying, "nah it's only a once off" doesn't sit right.

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  17. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Where did I say that she does?

    I just find that completely dismissing the thought of reporting someone, is a bad idea.
    I'm not saying she should be reported. But saying, "nah it's only a once off" doesn't sit right.
    I really don't think anyone is completely dismissing the thought of reporting someone at all.
    Give the woman a chance seriously!

    Say this woman had just had enough 1 particular day, put her baby down in the cot shut the door, made a coffee, locked the front door and went down the road a bit, sat there and drank her coffee and had 10mins peace? Is that worth reporting or would you pat her on the back and say you made the right choice?

    t [QUOTE=DT75;8083745]Say his woman does this on a regular basis. Is that serious enough?

    Does she do it on regular basis??? No one knows..

    Sorry, DoCS isn't just for reporting people who are beating/starving their kids. It is for neglect and other abuse too.

    Absolutely im not disagreeing with that, personally I would much prefer to see child services investigating a parent who is physically, mentally or emotionally abusing their kids than a mum who has left her baby for 10mins once.

    No I wouldn't leave my baby to go to the shop however ive also been a single mum who has had no one around to help so yes it did cross my mind. As I said previously no I personally wouldn't do it.


 

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