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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Thank you all so much for your support. It feels nice knowing people can understand my side. I am still not really sure what to do yet but all of your comments have helped me immensely. Thank you all xx

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    LaVecchia do you have any details you could provide me of the service you mentioned.I am still not sure what to do but would like to look.. Thank youxx

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by cjjlmum View Post
    Hi all. I found out 2 weeks ago I was pregnant with my third. I already have 2 beautiful daughters whom I absoutley adore and could not imagine my life without. They are 4 and almost 3.

    Finding out I was pregnant again came as a complete shock and I really don't know that I want to continue this through. I don't know that I can actually cope.

    The relationship I have with my partner is very unstable and for the past year we have both honestly wanted to separate. All of his family are supportive however live interstate. My family are close by but wish for myself and my girls that he was not around.

    He is very mentally and emotionally abusive towards me. He suffers depression and refuses to seek help. He has recently became addicted to certain types of drugs and claims these are the only things that help him "cope".

    He wont work because he claims he just can't but is not interested in even trying. I work and support him while my girls are in day care.

    He has never given me any support with either of our children, not financially nor with helping out. I have done everything on my own and then get abused for being so tired all the time.

    I am already at the end of my tether and struggling to get by each day as it is, so becoming pregnant has been a real upset for me.

    I honestly dont think I can cope. He is already cracking it because I am feeling exhausted from having my 2 girls and working and having to do all the cooking and housework by myself too.

    Financially I have no idea how I could possibly afford to not work while having a baby. We would pretty much end up on the street. I couldn't just work right up until the day before I go into labor and return in 6 weeks like I have been forced to with my other two, I just can't cope.

    I don't think I want to continue because I can't see that I myself can cope, let alone trying to look after my other two also.

    I have tried to speak to my partner about this but he refuses to talk about it because he doesn't want to have to deal with it. At the beginning he said there is only one option and that's to terminate because he said he was extremely unhappy and wanted to leave. I was fine with that because I could not cope. I made an appointment and he said he would take me and pick me up. I asked nothing more. Then the morning of the appointment he started abusing me and said I needed more information before I just go and do something. I know exactly what it is.

    We tried to talk and he said he was sorry and said he would take me to the next appointment I could make. He is now telling me that he just can't cope with taking me so I have to find my own way there and back and I can do whatever I want as he does not care.

    I am just at a complete loss as what to do. The negatives seems more than the positives of continuing with this. I just cannot cope with the abuse for being tired and not being able to mother him because I have 3 children I need to mother. I don't feel he is at all considering me, the one that has to carry it, birth it, somehow work to provide money for us to survive, raise 2 other children etc. He won't even let me talk about how I am feeling because he doesn't want to have to deal with it.

    Any advice from anyone in a similar situation? I just don't know what to do... I don't think I can go ahead, I don't think I can cope. Thank you in advance
    Wow. Massive hugs. I could have written your post word for word regarding your partner and my ex.

    The prospect of being a single parent is scary. The reality is that it's hard, but so much better than what you're living. Since I left my ex, my stress levels have gone down (except when I have to talk to him) and I'm in the best financial position I've been since we got together.

    A week after I left I found out I was pregnant. I decided another baby was not the right decision for me, even though ex really wanted it.

    Sometimes I regret it, especially as i really want another baby now. But for the most part I'm happy with my decision as I wouldn't have been able to cope with more than dd.

    Remember you should be entitled to 12 months maternity leave. Centerlink benefits arent a great lifestyle, but they are adequate to survive, especially until you go back to work and if you start saving now. Also, as a single parent and low income earner, there are great child care rebates.

    Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
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    I'm sorry you are having to make such a hard decision.
    It sounds like no matter what you decide whether you have 2 children or 3 it will be easier than having him to support whilst he is abusing you.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default advice needed! I don't know what to do!

    He sounds like an awful person to be in a relationship with. If you are happy to have a termination could somebody else go with you? I had a medical termination (tablets not surgery) and took my mum with me, it was quick and easy and I do not regret it. I was 100% sure in my decision which made it easier. Hope things get better for you.

    ETA: Didn't mean to sound too one sided. If you decided to keep the baby and were to leave him there is so much financial support that would be available to you through Centrelink, and as hard as it seems now you would get through the hard times and things will get better. The question I suppose is do you want the baby, regardless of money and your partner?
    Last edited by SpicyTurtle; 09-02-2015 at 13:21.


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