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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpicyTurtle View Post
    I don't see how settling a screaming child is "giving in". He just wants to be comforted? I realise it is hard if it is constant crying every night, but surely letting him scream and upsetting you further is not the best way to deal with it. Just my opinion
    Yeh he didn't sleep. At all. Unless he was rocked & held for the entire sleep. So thats why we went to sleep school. He self settled there in his cot for the first time ever. Now he wont do it at home. But rocking him & holding him is not sustainable for either of us & cosleeping is not an option so what else would you suggest?

    And just for the record he is not being left to cry it out. I don't believe in that. He is being shushed &;patted in his cot so he is being comforted.
    Last edited by heartstringz; 23-01-2015 at 18:24.

  2. #42
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    I don't post often but I've seen your posts.
    Firstly I get the sense and I'm sure you've said it you suffer badly from anxiety? I'm guessing it's in overdrive right now as your panicking caus you are alone back at home and feeling hopeless. I suffer anxiety and depression too have for a long time. The one thing I've learnt is babies are so good at picking up your emotional state, the more wound up and anxious you get the more he is going to reflect that as well. You can see that happening.

    Have you learnt coping mechanisms to deal with that. You need to implement them. Walk away for a few minutes and practice breathing exercises, try and calm down, De tense your muscles. I have good sleepers but the more anxious or upset I get turns my babies into hysterical messes. Because they don't understand yes they then seek you out for cuddles and reassurances.

    You know the methods work, you know he can self settle and sleep. But I bet the minute you were home and Dh left you started tensing up, getting anxious and falling apart. I've done the same thing, it's so hard I know but you need to get into a calmer state to settle him down. Please you aren't a failure but our minds can run away with us.

    Start practising calming and mindfulness in yourself and I know you can turn this around and get there.

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  4. #43
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    Hes asleep - dh got him to sleep when he came home. Hopefully he'll stay asleep for a while cause he needs the sleep

  5. #44
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    Good to hear, I hope you're taking the chance to relax, have some dinner. Was there anything different that your DH did, or was it just that he hadn't been dealing with it all afternoon?

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    Default Sleep school update

    I think the advice you were given surrounding learning the difference between an emotional cry and a protest (whinge) is key. Don't go in for a simple whinge, go in if bub is emotional. Don't rock/pat/feed to sleep or you will be back where you started. If you need to do it just do it until bubs drowsy then shush shush shush as you stand in the door and then walk out.

    Hang in there you can do it.
    Last edited by VicPark; 23-01-2015 at 18:50.

  7. #46
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    I think just that he hadnt been dealing with it all arvo, we are making sure we are both completely consistent

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  9. #47
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    Glad to head he is asleep.

    So, what do you do to wind down, de-stress and calm yourself? Not just when your ds is crying, but at any time at all? Do you have a method, a crutch of sorts that is your go-to?

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    "The first couple of days involved ds crying quite a lot but he was never left alone to get upset - they taught us to listen & tell the difference between when he is just winging or protesting & when he was actually upset. Once he got upset I went in & shushed patted till he was calm & left the room again. I needed to pick him up a couple of times in the first couple of days as he wasnt calming but by wednesday he no longer needed this. "

    This is what you said you did. This is what you continue to do. Whatever you do, DONT rock him to sleep, keep doing what you did in sleep school, it worked there, it will work at home. You just need to stick to it so you don't confuse him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I think the advice you were given surrounding learning the difference between an emotional cry and a protest (whinge) is key. Don't go in for a simple whinge, go in if bub is emotional. Don't rock/pat/feed to sleep or you will be back where you started. If you need to do it just do it until bubs drowsy then shush shush shush as you stand in the door and then walk out.

    Hang in there you can do it.
    Thanks! I didnt rock or feed & we didnt pat to sleep, just patted to calm then left the room. Im getting better at distinguishing the different cries now I think

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  14. #50
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    Hey honey,

    I know how tough it is. But do not let one bad sleep/day/night or even a few get you down. Count every successful settle as 10 points and a bad one as negative 1 point. That is how I survived! It is like that saying two steps forward and one step back.

    Hoping it gets easier for you.


 

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