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  1. #1
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    Default Have you repeated your child at school. ?

    My dd is a young one. She turned 5 the day she started school. She goes into year 3 this year and will turn 8, 3 days after school returns.
    Over the years I've regretted sending her and wished I held her back. She's in the minority for age and I feel it's starting to show. She can be quite immature especially around her friends , as if she's trying to impress them or just doesn't know how to fit in. She's been labeled the party girl who is so much fun and makes everyone laugh at parties etc.
    She asked me why do people call her little (insert name) and tell her they'll look after her. And it's mainly because of her age and also size.

    I asked her teacher about repeating last year but she was definitely no. So saw the school counselor who said she wouldn't recommend it and it'd be detrimental etc. Mind you she had not met my dd.
    Over th school holidays I've watched her closely with friends and siblings of friends and there is a definite change between play in with kids her age range to playing with ones in her actual grade.
    Have any of you repeated a child and regretted it? Or not repeated and then regretted it?

  2. #2
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    Repeated 3 children out of 5 so far. No regrets here

  3. #3
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    They are reluctant. But I just don't want her thinking she's got to live up to her older peers. Most kids are already 8 and turning 9 soon. I was told out of 100 kids she's one out of 8 of the youngest.
    We are nsw

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    Instead of repeating would it be possible for the school to put the 8 youngest in the same class so that they have peers of similar age to work and play with? I know they like to spread the ages out, but if the vast majority are so much older then it might be a case for grouping the young ones together so that they don't get lost in the system.

  5. #5
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    I've spoken with the school and they see no issues. I'll see how she goes this year. She's been in a class with the same group of girls for 2 years in a row. dd is very much her own person and a dag (in a good way) but I can see the girls are not like this so she tries to conform. I put it down to age though because I don't see her behaving this way with the girls in the year below

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    My DDs birthday is 5 days before the cut off in QLD. I told them in prep if they were going to repeat her to do it in prep. She is however academically well above where she needs to be, but socially a little immature. The school, as well as the area counsellor refused to repeat her. So she is also going into year 3 this year. I will refuse from now on to repeat her, they can offer her additional support if needed.

    I came from the angle of a child who repeated year 6 in NSW. I hated it, I still remember repeating and I still get cranky thinking about it.

    My advice is....if you are going to do it, insist on it now. Don't do it any later!

  7. #7
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    When we were in QLD I felt that my child definitely would benefit from being held back but it was refused and was not an option at any schools in the area. I was told that in the end it is up to the Principal to decide and rarely done as research shows it doesn't benefit children in the long run... But we moved to NSW and when enrolling at the new school I gave samples of both my children's work from the year so far (at the time they were in year 2 and year 4 in QLD school) and the school said it was optional if I wanted to move them down a level. I initially only wanted my younger child kept down but they actually recommended that my older child also as their curriculum seemed to be advanced when compared. It had worked out well and been the best for them 2 years on and we have no complaints and it does seem that all the kids in the class are about same age since many delayed starting school.

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    Research suggests that there is no advantage in holding children back once they reach the age of 7. But there is an advantage before age 7, which is pretty big IMO considering many children start school at age 4. When your child starts school, you want them to flourish, not just survive.

    Children who are 4 years old can be ready for school. They can also be very academic. But I don't see the harm in keeping children home another year. There are many things to consider.

    I have a May and July baby. Both could start school in nsw the year they turn 5, but both of them have started or will start the year they turn 6.

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  10. #9
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  11. #10
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    Hi OP

    My daughter sounds very similar especially in the way she plays with her peers compared to slightly younger kids and she's only just turned 5.

    After agonising on to whether we were going to send her to school when she turned 5, we have made the decision to send her when she turns 6.

    I'm in Victoria and last year she was in 4 year old kinder but will repeat this year. I have a newborn and a 3 year old and it would have been so easy to send her but what's a year of crazy-ness in the scheme of things?

    In your situation OP, think about year 7 and the teenage years. If you're worried how she interacts with kids in her grade now, will much change when she's bigger? This is where I would lean more to repeating although I know there is a reluctancy by educators to do this once they've started school.

    Good luck with what you decide.


 

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