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  1. #1
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
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    Default Dodgy Feeding advice to new mums - what do you do?

    So I was at a party the other night - chatting to a woman I know only vaguely (from DH's work - we had met a few times before but never really got to know each other)

    Anyway - she is 35 weeks pregnant and we were naturally enough talking about babies etc.

    Another woman was there who had a 12 week old bubba ...

    We were talking about breastfeeding and she said she had been on this breastfeeding seminar thing where the woman told her

    "even if you are breastfeeding, give 1 full bottle of formula at night time to make the baby sleep more. Dont worry, nipple confusion isnt real and it wont affect anything, it will just make the baby sleep."

    I was a bit gobsmacked to be honest ... I did say a whole spiel about messing with supply, breast refusal and stuff ... but I didnt breastfeed - and my 'baby' is 8 - whereas this girl was breastfeeding her littlie ... you can guess who's advice will be taken


    So - how to tell a new Mum to be ... that some advice is dodgy ?

    What should I have done?

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    I would have told her my opinion on this advice and at the end of the day it's up to her to take it or leave it. She will work out when the time comes if it will work or not. you can only do your best.

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    yeah thats pretty much what I did. I wasnt pushy or full on (as I said, I dont know her that well) ...

    but its so hard listening to so much utter crap, and not saying that much

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    You could say "I wonder how dogs/cats/cows (etc, all mammals) manage to raise their babies without an extra bottle at night"

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    I usually say something along the lines of "oh....that's quite different advice to what I have read/heard about XYZ" and then recommend a good website/article/etc. For the example you gave I would have said that and then suggested heading to the ABA website.

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    I would've done the same as you.

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    I would have said to the pregnant lady something like, 'Isn't it interesting how everyone gets told different things! It might be an idea to check with the ABA to see what the current recommendations are because you're going to hear a lot of conflicting information from parents trying to be helpful.'

    And then left it at that.

    I think how you handled it was just fine too. She'll be given a lot of information in hospital and will (hopefully) have access to feeding counsellors there who will help straighten out some of the misinformation.

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    Gosh, it really doesn't make it easy for new Mums when there is so much conflicting advice. I don't think it's as easy as "take it or leave it" - I know when I was trying to bf my first I had no idea that there was such conflicting advice so believed people who I thought should/would be in the best position to know (eg Midwives). Turned out that the advice I got from various Midwives was so bad that it sealed the deal and although I had never entertained the idea of ff my baby, I ended up doing just that.

    You would assume that someone holding a bf seminar would be an expert and provide participants with the best quality advice.

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    What I think is also horrible about this story is the unfair expectation that has also been placed on this mum-to-be's shoulders that her baby should sleep through the night. That is crazy. Also, most people aren't aware that the medical definition of "sleeping through" is 5 hours straight, not put them down at 7pm and they wake up at 7am! So much horrible advice out there and mums end up feeling like failures because their babies are being normal babies!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Apple iPhart6 View Post
    What I think is also horrible about this story is the unfair expectation that has also been placed on this mum-to-be's shoulders that her baby should sleep through the night. That is crazy. Also, most people aren't aware that the medical definition of "sleeping through" is 5 hours straight, not put them down at 7pm and they wake up at 7am! So much horrible advice out there and mums end up feeling like failures because their babies are being normal babies!
    So true. I got to the point where I just stopped discussing ds sleep with anyone irl as I was over being told he should be sleeping through.

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