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  1. #21
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    I hope this is the trigger then to cut them out for good. My grandma was a narcissist. It's very hard.

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  3. #22
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    As someone who has been in the Family Law Court for almost 3 years, I would stop all contact and make plans to move. Grandparents do have rights and sometimes the courts make terrible terrible decisions. Decisions that allow abuse and neglect and allow children to be exposed to shocking behaviour because the primary carers can balance out the exposure to the negative behaviours. Not meaning to scare you but if you believe they will push for regular contact, then think about going asap.

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by BbBbBh View Post
    As someone who has been in the Family Law Court for almost 3 years, I would stop all contact and make plans to move. Grandparents do have rights and sometimes the courts make terrible terrible decisions. Decisions that allow abuse and neglect and allow children to be exposed to shocking behaviour because the primary carers can balance out the exposure to the negative behaviours. Not meaning to scare you but if you believe they will push for regular contact, then think about going asap.
    That doesnt sound good for us at all Could they bring us back or make us go halfway for contact with dd? Thank you

  6. #24
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    Glad you're stopping contact as the engaging them and telling them off probably just egged them on.

    I can't believe grandparents who haven't been carers can go to court to get rights. Ridiculous!

    Cease contact, call their bluff and deal with whatever claim they make if and when that happens.

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  8. #25
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    What a horrible situation. My father has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) amongst a few other things and I know how hard it is a child. This must be so hard on your DH not to mention yourself.

    I think you're on the right track by cutting them out fully and getting legal advice.

    Best of luck.

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  10. #26
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    I agree with the other posters who suggest cutting contact.

    You do not have to put up with your IL's behaviour. It sounds awful.

    To quote Dr Phil.'You teach people how to treat you' and I agree wholeheartedly. It's not your job to take their crap.

    Best of luck x

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  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by olismumma View Post
    That doesnt sound good for us at all Could they bring us back or make us go halfway for contact with dd? Thank you
    I doubt it. The process to that point is long and I doubt the 'bring the child back' rule applies to grandparents. I just meant if you were going somewhere then go sooner. A narcissist with money is exhausting in the court system and it will take it's toll on you and your family.

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  14. #28
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    Grandparents do not have automatic rights to the kids. The only time they may have a chance ia for example if they babysit the kids five days a week and there is a relationship with the kids then yes... the court will.look at benefit the child which would be continue the relationship. However if the kids have no relationship... the grandparents have no rights. Simple. No.judge would give basically complete strangers visitation to your kids...... unless you are deemed a danger to your kids.
    I definitely agree cut all contact. Keep all hard copy of any correspondence with them. You and dh show a united front. And cut all ties.



    P.s. im.speaking from.a nsw point of view with family members who are lawyers.

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  16. #29
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    Agree... call the bluff




    Quote Originally Posted by TwiddleDiddle View Post
    Glad you're stopping contact as the engaging them and telling them off probably just egged them on.

    I can't believe grandparents who haven't been carers can go to court to get rights. Ridiculous!

    Cease contact, call their bluff and deal with whatever claim they make if and when that happens.

  17. #30
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    Oh my goodness OP - when you describe their behavior its like I have written this myself regarding my inlaws. Except my inlaws haven't yet threatened to take us to court...

    I feel for you. Damn i wish you didn't go to theirs for Christmas, especially if there were going to be people there you don't want to give the time of day to (rightfully so) Your narcissistic MIL would have had a field day making you as uncomfortable as possible. They absolutely thrive on such situations. I am so sorry you're going through this, i know EXACTLY how it feels - been suffering my psycho inlaws for the past decade.

    Sadly you guys reacting to their games and firing up is exactly what they wanted. It's so tough dealing with a narcissist.... you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. But i have learned finally that shutting off all emotion is the best way. Don't get angry, don't feel anything for them. But yeah i think in this case now things have really escalated...

    You guys need to this time make this a permanent cutting off of contact now. After making such threats they have proven exactly the lengths they will go to in order to mess with you. Just shocking, with everything else you have dealt with and then this to top it all off it's enough to make you go crazy! Stay strong though, don't budge on the no contact. They sound pure evil.

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