Are there any other mums to an only child NOT by choice?? | Page 3 | Bub Hub
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  1. #21
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    We have one DD (17 months) she took 8 years, 9 IVF rounds and donor sperm. I then went on to have a complicated pregnancy that put me in hospital for some time. I am 40 this year (OMG can't believe I just had to write that), so the 'choice' really has been made for us - she will be an only.

    I had a cuddle of a newborn over Christmas, he was so cute, but it didn't make me want one. I'm not sure if that is cause I know it won't happen, so I don't think about it or if I really am happy with one.

  2. #22
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    DJNETTY I'm also 40 this year also. When I got pregnant and had hell morning sickness I thought, who wants to be pregnant at 40? Turns out I jinxed myself but during that pregnancy I realised that I already had it all, I was already happy, this baby wouldn't have made me "extra happy" if that makes any sense. We have 4 embys in ice but loosing bubs at 14 weeks I'm just done. It was embryo 12 and 13 and I'm just over it and happy to move on.

  3. #23
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    I'm sending tonnes of vitual hugs to everyone who has experienced a loss or a hearbreaking journey. We lost our second dd at 21 weeks and telling dd her sister had died was the worst thing I've ever been through. She was so excited to be the big sister. When I see two little sisters together it breaks my heart thinking she should have that. Even more so since my sis and I are 14 mths apart and the best of friends. She will never get that. I'm still holding onto the hope it will happen for us....we haven't even explored the fertility treatment side of things yet. I just never expected I'd be mother to only one and I don't think I'll ever come to terms with. Praying for a miracle still.

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  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by melimum View Post
    I'm sending tonnes of vitual hugs to everyone who has experienced a loss or a hearbreaking journey. We lost our second dd at 21 weeks and telling dd her sister had died was the worst thing I've ever been through. She was so excited to be the big sister. When I see two little sisters together it breaks my heart thinking she should have that. Even more so since my sis and I are 14 mths apart and the best of friends. She will never get that. I'm still holding onto the hope it will happen for us....we haven't even explored the fertility treatment side of things yet. I just never expected I'd be mother to only one and I don't think I'll ever come to terms with. Praying for a miracle still.

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    Oh hun I'm so very sorry. It's devastating. What was the cause of your loss. I had not long told my son that mumma had a baby in her belly. About a week after I told him the baby died he said to me before falling asleep " I forgot to kiss the baby goodbye" oh god it broke me.

    The more you are a family of 3 the more you get your head around it. It does take time though. I hope for a miracle for you xxx

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    DT75  (05-06-2016),melimum  (16-01-2015)

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    Oh hun I'm so very sorry. It's devastating. What was the cause of your loss. I had not long told my son that mumma had a baby in her belly. About a week after I told him the baby died he said to me before falling asleep " I forgot to kiss the baby goodbye" oh god it broke me.

    The more you are a family of 3 the more you get your head around it. It does take time though. I hope for a miracle for you xxx
    Thank you @lilypily. We were told it was due to a blood clot on the placenta. She stopped growing at 16 weeks and had no fluid. I then misscarried a second time right after xmas and when I was still preg dd kissed my tummy and said "please grow strong and dont die in mummys tummy like my sister". It sucks hey I hate that babies dying is a normal thing for her.

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    I really hope you can get there. If not I'm currently enjoying being a smug mum of 1 and sleeping trough and having easy shopping trips. Having said that I would trade it all for my baby back but those were the cards I was dealt so I can only work with what I have been given xxx

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  9. #27
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    Yes we fall into this horrible place as well. We have one DS who is almost 4. We conceived him naturally after being told we would need IVF. We have been trying for #2 since he was about 6 months. We tried for 6 months on our own then proceeded to IVF. We have been through 6 stim cycles but no baby. I did get pregnant on cycle 4 but sadly miscarried. I'm so sorry for those of you who have also lost babies. I've found it really hard to deal with.

    We have stopped doing IVF for over a year but we are going to have one last try. Just to see if giving my body a break has made any difference. I'm not expecting it to work but I need to know for sure.

    I feel very sad for my son. He has no cousins, just one Aunt/Uncle and Grandad who live in other states and a set of Grandparents in the UK. So he has no one but us. I feel so guilty for doing this to him.

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    I am another with only one child, DD turned 10 a few months ago. Her father and I did try for another before we separated but there was just too much stress in our relationship.

    Myself and hubby (not DD's father) have been together almost 5 years now and before we got together he had told me he had a vasectomy so no more kids for him. But since being together our want for another child together grew and grew (I have always wanted more than 1) so we went through private health and had the reversal. DH has been tested and the op has worked so we are trying.

    All my sisters and friends all have 2 or more kids and it is so hard DD is always saying she has no one to play with she is always asking for a baby brother or sister breaks my heart.

    I have been called stupid and crazy for wanting another one due to the large age gap but I don't care my life and I will do what I want to do.

  11. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Truffle View Post
    Yes we fall into this horrible place as well. We have one DS who is almost 4. We conceived him naturally after being told we would need IVF. We have been trying for #2 since he was about 6 months. We tried for 6 months on our own then proceeded to IVF. We have been through 6 stim cycles but no baby. I did get pregnant on cycle 4 but sadly miscarried. I'm so sorry for those of you who have also lost babies. I've found it really hard to deal with.

    We have stopped doing IVF for over a year but we are going to have one last try. Just to see if giving my body a break has made any difference. I'm not expecting it to work but I need to know for sure.

    I feel very sad for my son. He has no cousins, just one Aunt/Uncle and Grandad who live in other states and a set of Grandparents in the UK. So he has no one but us. I feel so guilty for doing this to him.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nikwin13 View Post
    I am another with only one child, DD turned 10 a few months ago. Her father and I did try for another before we separated but there was just too much stress in our relationship.

    Myself and hubby (not DD's father) have been together almost 5 years now and before we got together he had told me he had a vasectomy so no more kids for him. But since being together our want for another child together grew and grew (I have always wanted more than 1) so we went through private health and had the reversal. DH has been tested and the op has worked so we are trying.

    All my sisters and friends all have 2 or more kids and it is so hard DD is always saying she has no one to play with she is always asking for a baby brother or sister breaks my heart.

    I have been called stupid and crazy for wanting another one due to the large age gap but I don't care my life and I will do what I want to do.
    @Truffle I totally understand the guilt. Dd also has no cousins which makes me sad because I grew up with heaps of cousins. At xmas she is always the only child. But on a positive note our children are lucky to have just us, dd has my full attention all the time and its just the three of us. Its lovely to be able to spoil her and do fun things just the three of us. This is what I tell myself anyway to help ease the guilt.
    @Nikwin13 how completly rude for anyone to say that! It is your life and I think there are lots of pros to having a larger age gap. My brother is 13 years older then me and he spoiled my sis and I rotten and we love him so much.

    I try my hardest to focus on the positives.... so what do you love about having an only child??

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  12. #30
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    Sleeping through
    Easy shopping with 1
    Cheap flights for only 3 for holiday
    The incredible unbreakable bond I have with ds
    Only 1 set of fees for private school
    Having a bath or shower with ds each night
    One or one attention
    The fact that I never have to do Ivf again
    Sharing a king bed in hotels

    My family actually feels special and unique as a family of 3

    After about 6 cycles I shared my journey on facebook. Syringes, appointments, transfer, pictures in embryos, BFP, scans, morning sickness and our losses. Everybody knows how hard we worked to get there but didn't and the fact that everybody knows our journey gives me permission to stop and they are all so supportive.

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