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  1. #1
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    Default Two lines on a pee stick and scared

    Hi all.

    I'm QuietSoul. 32, married, have been casually trying for maybe the last year but we have been pretty relaxed about it. Then 4 times in the last month, around ovulating time, and hey presto.

    I got a really really faint second line yesterday on a test and thought maybe it's just the stick, i will do another test in a few days. But i tested again today and the faint second line came up but less faint than before. Then i read the bit of paper and it said a faint second line is still a positive reading.

    So then I freaked out a bit, and then went into the loungeroom and cuddled up to the hubby when he was watching telly, for a minute, then he was like "What's wrong?" then i showed him the pee stick, and being a bloke it took him a while to understand, i said "there's 2 lines", took him a bit and then he realised and then smiled and i cried, but not like happy crying, more scared crying, freaking out that i'm pregnant.

    So we had this weird moment, i was like "sorry i'm crying, i know i should be happy, i'm not unhappy, i'm just really scared" and he was like "it's ok" and then he wanted to tell people and i didn't want to yet, i said we should wait until the 4 or 6 week mark like most people cos something could happen before then and also i feel heaps vulnerable right now and i don't want people coming up to me gushing about it and all these people knowing and i will just burst into tears in front of them.

    Then he was disappointed and i think i just killed the whole moment for him, he was disappointed i didn't tell him i was doing a test or see if he could be there while i did it, but he never has before, i have always just gone off and done tests and then he tells me off for doing it too early before my expected period because they're expensive and i wasted them, so i didn't think to tell him now that i was doing one cos i thought he would tell me off, the one i did yesterday he told me off as usual.

    I feel like i wrecked the moment that this should have been. I feel really vulnerable and i don't want people gushing at me. But we're gonna review in 24 hours and i might be ok with him telling his fam.

    Sorry, i know all this sounds weird, and i also feel bad writing this knowing that some out there have really struggled to conceive and have been clucky since they were born. I have a friend who is single and is having her eggs frozen and it's a really painful topic for her, and here i am freaking out cos we achieved something that other people seem to want more than me.

    I know that when i have it we will be happy and the child will be loved, but i have always had a phobia about the whole being pregnant and giving birth thing. Definitely doing a C section. Hoping they can put me under general so i don't have to live through having a hole cut in my organs.

    Anyway, nice to meet you all

    Peace

    QS

  2. #2
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    Hi @QuietSoul, welcome and congrats on the pregnancy. It's ok to be overwhelmed - a baby is a big change. Give yourself some time to get used to the idea. You and DH will have many beautiful moments to look forward to - don't beat yourself up if this one wasn't what you were expecting it to be. Take care of yourself and good luck!

  3. #3
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    Oh, @QuietSoul, what a beautiful first post. First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! It's okay to feel overwhelmed at the moment, it's a scary time. I remember when I got pregnant, I was like "there's a baby inside of me and somehow it's got to get outside of me!". So terrifying. Here's my advice, just ask your husband to wait a little bit. A lot of people wait till after the 12 week NT scan when they get confirmation that everything is okay with bub. On the other hand, we told our immediate family earlier. If something does go wrong, it's nice to have their support. I learnt the hard way because with my first pregnancy I told everyone at work and then I miscarried at 9.5 weeks. It was so hard with everyone knowing and even though most people were told my boss, I still had to have a couple of awkward "how is the pregnancy going?" conversations with people.

    My biggest piece of advice is something I only learned with time. That is how much of your pregnancy you spend focusing on the birth. At the end of the day, that really is just a teeny tiny part of your bub's life. If I could go back, I would spend way more time preparing for actually having a baby than, you know...just the part where you have a baby! Also, for all my reading about giving birth and preparing for it, things don't always go to plan and I ended up unexpected giving birth at 34 weeks! It truly was a case of "life is what happens when you're making other plans!".

  4. #4
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    Congratulations on your pregnancy! I was just like you, in the sense that I was trying but when it happened... It was very overwhelming. I was scared of the unknown etc. then when I showed DP the two lines, he said nothing and went back to his computer game!! He was in shock too. It's a huge adjustment but I promise you will get used to the idea and the feelings of you have now will turn to excitement and love. My point is, that my moment wasn't what I imagined and that upset me but now looking back it's such a small thing in the grand scale of pregnancy moments. Give yourself some time to get your head around it and I'm sure your DH will understand why you need some extra time before you tell people. We are all here to chat to at anytime. Again congrats and best wishes for your little family. Xxx

  5. #5
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    Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. I'm glad to know i'm not alone in the less-than-fairytale moment. I am feeling a bit better today. Still scared but just trying to come to grips with the fact i'm pregnant. It feels so weird to say that, like surreal or something. Now i have other priorities on my mind for the year, like setting up a baby room in the house we just bought, staying in my current job instead of moving jobs, and an overseas trip we had planned. Alot to think about! I hope to see you around in the forums

    x o

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuietSoul View Post
    Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. I'm glad to know i'm not alone in the less-than-fairytale moment. I am feeling a bit better today. Still scared but just trying to come to grips with the fact i'm pregnant. It feels so weird to say that, like surreal or something. Now i have other priorities on my mind for the year, like setting up a baby room in the house we just bought, staying in my current job instead of moving jobs, and an overseas trip we had planned. Alot to think about! I hope to see you around in the forums

    x o
    Do you know what your due date is, @QuietSoul?

  7. #7
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    Hi Apple, no idea, but I know I was due for my period in the last few days and I could have conceived either before Christmas or before NYE


 

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