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  1. #21
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    Double post
    Last edited by maternidade; 10-01-2015 at 06:12.

  2. #22
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    Wow happy camper your so grown up! Haha out of all of this I think your advice wether to discuss or not and what our come do you think will come of it or not it great! It's true what really will you gain as even if you MIL changes her mind she clearly will be unhappy personally about it. I think you should look to the future and shot gun next holidays! Makes it more fair whilst not landing your SIL in the same situation as you without time to plan.

    Sucks for you right now....do PCYCs run holiday care maybe? Even if it does take a financial burden right now it would be better than loosing your jobs or long term financial burden vs short term

    Good luck!

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  4. #23
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    I think it's great your mil knows her limitations. However I think she should suck it up for 2 days. Maybe she's concerned though she'll have all 6 on a regular basis?

    If it's a long standing situation with your sil then it would be difficult to then cancel that. Imagine if the situation was reversed?

    Another thought maybe something is going on that you don't know about ( but rest of them do) 4 kids in childcare is very expensive and if they are already struggling for cash she might not be able to take a day off either

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by the best laid plans View Post
    Wow happy camper your so grown up!
    Haha! @the best laid plans, any advice is easy to give, hard to action. I'm only passing on what I've learned from painful experience.

    I like the ideas others have had to be more proactive about holidays in the future. That seems like a good way to actually change the situation for the longer term, rather than dwelling on things that have already been said and done.

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    I think it's great your mil knows her limitations. However I think she should suck it up for 2 days. Maybe she's concerned though she'll have all 6 on a regular basis?

    If it's a long standing situation with your sil then it would be difficult to then cancel that. Imagine if the situation was reversed?

    Another thought maybe something is going on that you don't know about ( but rest of them do) 4 kids in childcare is very expensive and if they are already struggling for cash she might not be able to take a day off either
    Good points @maternidade. Thinking about the situation from other people's point of view helps to understand where they are coming from. Also very good grown up advice!! 😉

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    I think it's great your mil knows her limitations. However I think she should suck it up for 2 days. Maybe she's concerned though she'll have all 6 on a regular basis?

    If it's a long standing situation with your sil then it would be difficult to then cancel that. Imagine if the situation was reversed?

    Another thought maybe something is going on that you don't know about ( but rest of them do) 4 kids in childcare is very expensive and if they are already struggling for cash she might not be able to take a day off either
    Suck it up? **** that!. If I was the mil I would be telling all the ungrateful parents to get stuffed!. I wouldn't be looking after 6 kids and then having the parents **** and moan about the details.. I will be enjoying my retirement!


    OP: if your mil has a permanent arrangement with the sil's kids or if they got in first with their request then it's only fair that your mil spends her limited capability looking after them. First in best dressed. Next time look at childcare for the holidays much earlier. It's your and your hubby's job to make sure arrangements are in place not your mil or sil's.

    For this time I wouldn't contact the SIL and ask her to find alternate arrangements for 2 days. That's going to come accross as rather petty and self centred. If I was your mil and that happened I would be ropeable. Ring around vacation care places, check out qualified nannies on your local mothers groups (many teachers who have all the police checks. Hire themselves out in the holidays). Depending on how flexible your employers are you could work shifts with hubby. Eg you work 6am-12 and hubby works 12:30-7pm that way each of you only need to take a couple of hours each day of leave.

  8. The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

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  9. #27
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    Tell your hubby to step up and speak to his Mum. My husband was the same but c

  10. #28
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    In with you on this one @VicPark. No one should expect anyone else to watch their kids (family or not). Yes it makes for difficult times/arrangements, but that's the parents issue to sort through. I would never dream of asking my mum or my mil to watch my kids on a regular basis. Maybe just me.

    Also OP perhaps mil expects more from you (ie: not to ask) given she has shared with you how difficult it is with 4 already (feeding, entertaining etc) personally I would be upset if you asked me at all after I had shared that sort of thing.

    Good luck sorting sonething out.

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  12. #29
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    I agree with @VicPark.

    It's 2 days, I think trying to stretch the budget for vacation care is a necessity.

    Relying on family for child care is rife with complications. I have relied at times and I much prefer having my own plans in place. Totally decreases the angst. Let your SIL wear your MIL down rather than you. I don't think what's "fair" is relevant to this - MIL can do what she likes, no explanation required.

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  14. #30
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    Your MIL might think your SIL kids are easier to care for then yours, or maybe she has already made a promise she can't go back on, or maybe she thinks your SIL is in a tougher situation than you. What I'm saying is that you see it as unfair but your MIL might be thinking that caring only for your SILs kids is the fairest solution given XYZ reason. Good luck!


 

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