I understand it's a hard situation and I can understand you feeling that it is unfair. But one thing that stood out to me was that you expected your SIL to find other arrangements on the days you needed but are angry you need to do the same. I do think your MIL needs to make it fairer but I kind of get the feeling you would be fine with your kids taking her place and her being left in the lerch like you are.
Ask dh what he suggests you both do for childcare these holidays and get out a pen and paper to brainstorm. How old are sil's children? Maybe if they are old enough you could both pitch in and pay for two mature year 12's or tafe students to look after them. Then it's fair and MIL doesn't have to be overstretched by anyone.
Last edited by BbBbBh; 09-01-2015 at 18:04.
But ask yourself what you will gain if you or DH says something about how it's unfair. Are you likely to get your MIL to graciously agree to look after 6 kids with no help, with your SIL realising that she's taking advantage (and stopping)? Probably not. So if you aren't going to get that outcome, then what is likely? I'm guessing the more likely scenario is a family argument. I'm not saying DON'T say anything. If you want to clear the air, not let bad feeling fester, then say something. That can be a good outcome too. But consider what is the likely outcome is, not just your sense of injustice. Family is forever.
Last edited by Happy Camper; 09-01-2015 at 20:27.
I'm assuming the SIL asked her first if she said 6 is too much to you?? If she's already told SIL she can mind her kids then I think it's unfair to suggest she find alternative care for the 2 days you were asking about. It's tricky - but I guess you just need to find an alternative ... And call shot gun on next years holidays!!
The arrangement seems rather unfair and I can understand your frustration.
I also completely understand your MIL's predicament - caring for 6 children over 2 days is not for the faint-hearted!
For these holidays, it seems you have little choice but to put them into childcare or not work. However, I don't think it's out of line to contact your SIL and discuss a compromise for the next school holidays. History proves that your MIL is not comfortable discussing the issue with your SIL, so if you wish to find a fair arrangement, you will have to take matters into your own hands.
Though tempting, it seems a little inappropriate to ask your SIL and MIL to reorganise the current arrangement.
If its only 2 days can you or your dh talk to your sil and see if she is willing to find other arrangements?
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!