+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 61
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    69
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    Well that's a whole separate issue between you and your husband.

    Now you have 2 problems:

    1. Your husband thinking child care is all your responsibility; and

    2. Your MIL is willing to look after your Nieces and nephews 5 days per week, but has said no to looking after yours and you feel this is unfair
    Yep, any helpful advise would appreciated

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    69
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    Is this a new situation? What have you done for holiday babysitting previously?
    No, not a new situation, she has had them previously. Which I am so greatful for. I have also done without pay, which I can no longer do. We don't have anyone else, just her. I totally understand that she is probably over having kids, but very anoyed that my SIL can walk all over her, and she says nothing to her?

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,255
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked
    368
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by mummyoftwo View Post
    No, not a new situation, she has had them previously. Which I am so greatful for. I have also done without pay, which I can no longer do. We don't have anyone else, just her. I totally understand that she is probably over having kids, but very anoyed that my SIL can walk all over her, and she says nothing to her?
    How frustrating! It does seem unfair.

    Once again though, issues with the SIL and MIL are your husbands to deal with, not yours. Perhaps you need to sit down with your husband and have a serious chat.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,202
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I understand it's a hard situation and I can understand you feeling that it is unfair. But one thing that stood out to me was that you expected your SIL to find other arrangements on the days you needed but are angry you need to do the same. I do think your MIL needs to make it fairer but I kind of get the feeling you would be fine with your kids taking her place and her being left in the lerch like you are.

  5. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    BbBbBh  (09-01-2015),Explora  (09-01-2015),KitiK  (09-01-2015),maternidade  (10-01-2015),NoteToSelf  (10-01-2015),peanutmonkey  (10-01-2015),Preshy2008  (10-01-2015)

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Ask dh what he suggests you both do for childcare these holidays and get out a pen and paper to brainstorm. How old are sil's children? Maybe if they are old enough you could both pitch in and pay for two mature year 12's or tafe students to look after them. Then it's fair and MIL doesn't have to be overstretched by anyone.
    Last edited by BbBbBh; 09-01-2015 at 18:04.

  7. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    238
    Thanked
    106
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by mummyoftwo View Post
    ... I don't really expect her to look after them, it's the unfairness of the situation. SIL walks all over her, while we are the exact opposite...
    This sort of "it's not fair" pops into my head too sometimes when I think about family issues. Unfortunately life isn't fair. Sometimes people do or say things we don't agree with. We can't make everything "fair". I know that my comments may not help you feel righteous indignation right now.

    But ask yourself what you will gain if you or DH says something about how it's unfair. Are you likely to get your MIL to graciously agree to look after 6 kids with no help, with your SIL realising that she's taking advantage (and stopping)? Probably not. So if you aren't going to get that outcome, then what is likely? I'm guessing the more likely scenario is a family argument. I'm not saying DON'T say anything. If you want to clear the air, not let bad feeling fester, then say something. That can be a good outcome too. But consider what is the likely outcome is, not just your sense of injustice. Family is forever.
    Last edited by Happy Camper; 09-01-2015 at 20:27.

  8. #17
    Gothel's Avatar
    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Stressame Street
    Posts
    6,515
    Thanks
    2,368
    Thanked
    2,113
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by mummyoftwo View Post
    No, not a new situation, she has had them previously. Which I am so greatful for. I have also done without pay, which I can no longer do. We don't have anyone else, just her. I totally understand that she is probably over having kids, but very anoyed that my SIL can walk all over her, and she says nothing to her?
    If your MIL can't mind then then you either have to find someone else, pay for care or stop work. Hubby needs to get on board with this, i think I'd mention that i *might* have to stop work if i can't work somethung out, that might get his attention. It's his responsibility too.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Gothel For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (10-01-2015),SuperGranny  (10-01-2015),ThenThereWereThree  (09-01-2015)

  10. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,865
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,331
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I'm assuming the SIL asked her first if she said 6 is too much to you?? If she's already told SIL she can mind her kids then I think it's unfair to suggest she find alternative care for the 2 days you were asking about. It's tricky - but I guess you just need to find an alternative ... And call shot gun on next years holidays!!

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Theboys&me For This Useful Post:

    MissMuppet  (10-01-2015),peanutmonkey  (10-01-2015)

  12. #19
    TimTamsandTea's Avatar
    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    927
    Thanks
    656
    Thanked
    320
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    The arrangement seems rather unfair and I can understand your frustration.

    I also completely understand your MIL's predicament - caring for 6 children over 2 days is not for the faint-hearted!

    For these holidays, it seems you have little choice but to put them into childcare or not work. However, I don't think it's out of line to contact your SIL and discuss a compromise for the next school holidays. History proves that your MIL is not comfortable discussing the issue with your SIL, so if you wish to find a fair arrangement, you will have to take matters into your own hands.

    Though tempting, it seems a little inappropriate to ask your SIL and MIL to reorganise the current arrangement.

    Good luck!

  13. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    2,377
    Thanks
    1,504
    Thanked
    883
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If its only 2 days can you or your dh talk to your sil and see if she is willing to find other arrangements?


 

Similar Threads

  1. new mom needs advise
    By MamaAlex in forum Postnatal & General Women's Health Chat
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 07-01-2015, 22:32
  2. advise & thoughts much needed
    By TillyABC in forum First Trimester Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-07-2014, 18:48
  3. Need Advise Please
    By HOPEnFAITH in forum IVF
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-03-2014, 19:40

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Carmels Beauty Secrets
An online beauty and wellness site which offers simple and effective time saving methods and tips which help you look younger for longer.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!