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  1. #1
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    Default MIL has said no to childcare....advise needed

    As the title suggests, my Mil has said that she can't look after our kids in the holidays, her reason is fair enough, but it has left me in a delema & very stressed. What do I do?
    Ok, so here is the situation and the reason why I'm upset....
    my hubby's brother has 4 kids ( her grand kids as well) Every school holidays my MIL looks after them. Today, when I asked her if she could have ours as well she said that 6 kids is to much for her. I totally get it, 6 kids is a lot, especially when 4 of them are very active boys. However, as I only need my kids looked after 2 days why can't she call my SIL and ask her to make alternative arrangements for the 2 days that I need? She always has the other kids 5 days at a time!! And my SIL never gives her any notice? She complains to me all the time about what hard work they are, how hungry they always are, how their mother never bothers sending any food with them, and how expensive it is for her to feed them blah blah blah......we always send food for our two, heaps in fact, to make it as easy on her as possible, I always ask well in advance, and pick them up early etc. I just don't get it?? She has never told my SIL NO, but is happy to say no to me??
    I was going to ask hubby to call her tonight and ask her why, but he won't. Should I ask him to call a bluff and ring my SIL and ask her to look after them and mention that His mum is finding 6 kids to hard to manage and explain that we are now in a delema....
    I'm so annoyed

  2. #2
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    Are your parents available?

    whilst I think it's unfair she won't look after your kids, I don't think it should be expected that she would mind your kids in the first place.

  3. #3
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    Your husband needs to speak to MIL. His side of the family, so he deals with it. You deal with your side of the family, If an issue arises there.

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    No, both died when I was young. I don't really expect her to look after them, it's the unfairness of the situation. SIL walks all over her, while we are the exact opposite. I just don't understand.

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    How old are your kids? Can they go into vacation care?

  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by TeBe View Post
    Your husband needs to speak to MIL. His side of the family, so he deals with it. You deal with your side of the family, If an issue arises there.
    Yep, I totally agree. He won't. Childcare seems to be my problem

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    Quote Originally Posted by beccaboobang View Post
    How old are your kids? Can they go into vacation care?
    Hi Beccaboobang
    they are 6&8. We really can't afford the fees

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    Default MIL has said no to childcare....advise needed

    Quote Originally Posted by mummyoftwo View Post
    Yep, I totally agree. He won't. Childcare seems to be my problem
    Well that's a whole separate issue between you and your husband.

    Now you have 2 problems:

    1. Your husband thinking child care is all your responsibility; and

    2. Your MIL is willing to look after your Nieces and nephews 5 days per week, but has said no to looking after yours and you feel this is unfair

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    My MIL is a bit the same, hardly ever looks after our kids, and is always looking after SIL and BIL's kids, the way she see's it is that we can cope a lot better without her help. I don't really see it that way (we don't have anyone else who can help out- my family is on the other side of the country).
    If it was a prearranged thing for her to look after your kids I would be annoyed, but I think it is up to hubby to say something.

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    Is this a new situation? What have you done for holiday babysitting previously?


 

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