Great great advice thanks ladies.
Great great advice thanks ladies.
Oh Hun, it's so hard isn't it? Some great advice here. Something to add cos I get that red must anger thing too - it sounds counter intuitive but when I'm on the verge of losing it I sometimes stop and smile at DS. And he usually smiles back and it calms me a little.
I've also just started doing time outs. I don't leave him but I remove him from the area for two minutes and hold him one lap. I don't engage with him at all. Then he has the natural consequence. I know that's tricky when you have a little(r) one?
When things are really tough I time myself out and go and sit in my room and breathe. There's a baby gate there so he can't follow me.
I know it's hard but your hubby needs to start backing you. Kids learn very young how to play their adults off against each other.
None of this means you're a bad mother x
I wish I could do the smile thing. I ll have to try that aswell. I've just finished talking to DH about backing me but he's a little off to which I didn't realise. He says she doesn't listen so what is he suppose to do. I guess we are both feeling the same but not communicating 🙉 gosh first toddler problems now husband problems arising
At 3, my oldest did not respond to time outs, removal of toys etc. At my wits end, I read a book called 'Children are People Too.' It changed the way we parented her and her behaviour improved dramatically. I highly recommend it.
Subbing my DD is nearly 3 and @LoCo I think her and your DD must be twins . I'm not enjoying parenting her lately and constantly feel like an awful mum.
There have been some great ideas in this thread in going to try some of them and see if I can find the solution that works for her.
Three is tough! I used time out, removal of favourite toys for repeated behaviour, and on a really bad day I would pretend to cry.
DS always responds better when I explain why I need something done and what the consequence will be if he refuses.
Hang in there, 4 is awesome
Every book or tv show I have ever watched says be firm but nurture. Are you spending 1:1 quality time? It's hard to do this when your blood is already boiling. Remember when you are the hardest to love it's when you need it the most. Set a timer and give her 5 mins of your time. Totally engaged and work from there. Discipline in our house is reactive and doesn't work so I try and work on preventative. Good luck. It's so trying at times.
[QUOTE=harvs;8052010] I know it's hard but your hubby needs to start backing you. Kids learn very young how to play their adults off against each other./QUOTE]
I agree with this. I would start by talking to your husband. He needs to be involved in the discipline too. You need to be on the same page.
I'm wondering if your little one's behaviour is a reaction to having a new bub in the house? You said she was fine at 2 but is nightmarish now. When she was 2 she was an only child; now she has to share the attention.
How articulate is she? Do you think she could explain to you why she's behaving the way she is? Would also depend on how emotionally intelligent she is too, of course. (Of my two eldest girls, one is very emotionally intelligent, the other is not' One will tell you exactly how she's feeling -- what's making her sad/angry/etc. The other acts up and when we try to get her to talk about it, she cannot explain the issue. We have to tease it out of her by asking lots of questions.
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