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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    She feels that DSD was sent to bed for not finishing the cupcake.
    I totally missed that. I don't think you've done anything wrong. You told the kids they would be going to bed as soon as they've finished eating and that's what happened.

    Sorry to say it sounds like you're dealing with a total nutcase. My DH's ex is too! I feel your pain! We can't do anything right.

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  3. #12
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    Are you sure your step kiddies arnt telling her porkys and making out your really unreasonable? Maybe thats why shes so defensive all the time...id be getting DH to have a stern chat to her to tell her to back off and let you parent when they are in your care!

  4. #13
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    oh for the love of god if that is all she could find to complain about then you are doing just fine


    its like dealing with a child - choose your battles and let the small stuff go. Its annoying, its frustrating, you want to bash your head against the wall ... but at the end of the day its not worth fighting with her over. The kids are the ones who end up paying as they have to go home to her.

    so let it go, and come vent on here about how petty she is

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    Quote Originally Posted by brooketobub View Post
    Are you sure your step kiddies arnt telling her porkys and making out your really unreasonable? Maybe thats why shes so defensive all the time...id be getting DH to have a stern chat to her to tell her to back off and let you parent when they are in your care!
    I did initially think this, but I've know them since DSS was 10 months and DSD 2 years. It just doesn't fit their characters. And they don't do that, in regard to her, with us. Considering all the previous issues, it just seems to be her need to b*tch.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 4LeafClover View Post
    You are not doing anything wrong. When she rings say yep, no worries, see ya ! **** ! Every week ? What the hell is wrong with her ? My guess is she has nothing better to do with her time. Or say to her, I have asked the kids, they didn't have a problem with it, so I am not sure why you do ? grrrr. My blood would be boiling if I were you LOL
    Yupp, and sometimes its more than once a week. Heck, often it's more than once a day!

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    Quote Originally Posted by BH-KatiesMum View Post
    oh for the love of god if that is all she could find to complain about then you are doing just fine


    its like dealing with a child - choose your battles and let the small stuff go. Its annoying, its frustrating, you want to bash your head against the wall ... but at the end of the day its not worth fighting with her over. The kids are the ones who end up paying as they have to go home to her.

    so let it go, and come vent on here about how petty she is
    Thanks.
    This is what I tell DH- he has a bit of a temper, especially where she is concerned. I'm always saying, "wait. think. The kids will get the fallout", and he calms down and emails her. He never calls her, only answers when she rings. Same with me.

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    I feel for you! My DH ex is very much like this but quite abusive and insulting to DH in her txts. My step kids often do tell things out of context and she sends abusive txt then straight away or without thinking first. I think you sound like you are doing amazingly well both with the kids and her!! It's certainly harder than I ever thought being a stepmum and the 'new' wife... The books 'skirts at war' and 'no-ones the b!tch' helped me massively. I found I didn't always agree but it have me hope things would get better and see things sometimes why they react like they do! It's written by a mum and her kids stepmum.

    Good luck, sometimes it doesn't matter what we do, it is never right in their mind and this is really their issue

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    Sounds like your DP's ex has her wires crossed about what happened. Either because she is a crank and likes to think the worst and/or because your DSD either intentional or unintentionally misconstrued the truth.

    I would let your hubby handle it. He could either ignore it or say something civil to his ex such as "there appears to be some misunderstanding about what has occured. Feel free to call me first if there are ever any questions about what has happened when the kids are in my care. It's important to note in advance however that we both have different parenting styles and that's ok."

  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    I do the response thing already. But I'm not really listening. Anything important, we get emails of from the school, dr, etc anyway.

    The problem with not answering her calls is she then turns up. Or she reports us. It's not worth the drama. DH is at work, so I'm the one actually with them, so she rings.

    ETA: I'm glad to read that we aren't being unreasonable. Kids need boundaries and rules. We include them in the set up of ALL rules, even non-negotiable ones. It's come to a point where I am second-guessing everything and watching every small noise that comes out of my mouth in (almost) fear.
    I was talking about boundary setting for the ex not the kids

  13. #20
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    If she is harassing you Im not sure what it is she could report you for?
    She can't report you for not agreeing with or entertaining her.
    If she turned up, Id not answer, why should you need too? I never answer to anyone who didn't arrange to come over.

    Maybe keep a diary of what happened and the backlash you received (a print out of her email, screen shot of her text etc) incase she does ever try and pin you for it (not sure how she could though)


 

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