My brother has been with my SIL for almost ten years. They have two kids together and are getting married in the new year.
I have tried to have a good relationship with her, but I think I'm done trying.
The weekend was the final straw.
My brother and SIL don't want a lot a junk cluttering up their house. Fair enough, so I wracked my brains for Christmas presents that weren't a physical object. Luckily, the local theatre group was putting on a Sleeping Beauty play for Christmas. I called my SIL, told her about the play, said I wanted to buy tickets for her kids and my DD for Christmas and asked if I should buy her a ticket too. She thought it was a great idea, and I asked which of the dates/times would suit her. We agreed on a time and I bought tickets.
Fast forward to the day of the play and my brother called my two hours before the play is due to start to say that SIL is feeling sick and isn't coming. I was really angry and shouted at him that it was all I'd bought his kids for Christmas. He said he'd take the afternoon off work and bring my nieces.
I can't even give my SIL the benefit of the doubt that she was actually sick. Every time there is a family gathering for 'our family', my SIL get sick and doesn't come. My dd has had three birthday parties and my SIL has not come to any of them.
I'm really hurt and angry that she's not making any effort for her in-law side of the family. My brother and I are really close, we hang out together and our kids absolutely love each other. I feel like it's not my place to say anything about SIL but it's getting harder to hold my tongue.
Do I say something to her? To my brother? Or do I just stop making effort with her?