+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 26
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    3,196
    Thanks
    312
    Thanked
    960
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    It is strange, trust your gut and keep a close eye on things. Unfortunately statistics don't lie and he's getting to an "experimental" age

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to maternidade For This Useful Post:

    tubster  (22-12-2014)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    4,662
    Thanks
    1,961
    Thanked
    2,567
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by brooketobub View Post
    This might be totally off track but do you know if he is on the spectrum? My mother was dating a man whos DS was Autistic, and at 11 he rubbed my leg, it was uncomfortable. He got in trouble for touching a girl on the bus this way too...its like he didnt quite get personal space and that was his way to get interaction. He lacked social skills etc. If he is, then this 'tick' needs to be managed by his parents, as it could escalate...
    I only thought of this as you said he is generally a bit 'wierd' and i always felt that way about his DSs behaviour all round, not just the touchy thing.

    Trust your gut, i dont think you could ever be too careful. Especially when the internet is sexualising everything kids and teens see as soon as they have alone time on an ipad etc.
    I thought this too, especially as you said he was quite late toilet training. No matter what the cause of his behaviour I would be very wary.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to amyd For This Useful Post:

    tubster  (22-12-2014)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    1,041
    Thanks
    854
    Thanked
    112
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by brooketobub View Post
    This might be totally off track but do you know if he is on the spectrum? My mother was dating a man whos DS was Autistic, and at 11 he rubbed my leg, it was uncomfortable. He got in trouble for touching a girl on the bus this way too...its like he didnt quite get personal space and that was his way to get interaction. He lacked social skills etc. If he is, then this 'tick' needs to be managed by his parents, as it could escalate...
    I only thought of this as you said he is generally a bit 'wierd' and i always felt that way about his DSs behaviour all round, not just the touchy thing.

    Trust your gut, i dont think you could ever be too careful. Especially when the internet is sexualising everything kids and teens see as soon as they have alone time on an ipad etc.
    Actually I have thought about it and asked DH several times if he is. DH doesn't know and no one ever mentioned any problems so I am guessing no. He's very quiet, he seems to be in his little world all the time, stares into space a lot and doesn't reply when you talk to him, you have to really try to talk to him to get his response.
    But I don't see him often, so he could be totally different when I am not there.

  6. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    At home
    Posts
    1,396
    Thanks
    601
    Thanked
    1,398
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hrm, maybe next time say to SIL, i noticed that so and so has been a little bit withdrawn, is everything ok? And she might spill the beans

  7. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,722
    Thanks
    1,518
    Thanked
    1,950
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I have a 12 year old relative (female) who would do something along those lines. She's not on the spectrum, she's jus a REALLY cuddly kid and doesn't fully understand personal space.

    Personally, I'd take the approach to speaking to him directly, saying "no, that's not okay. People need their personal space. It's not okay to keep hugging someone just because YOU enjoy it."

    I know not everyone's as comfortable as I am parenting other peoples' children though :P

  8. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Renn For This Useful Post:

    BettyW  (22-12-2014),LoveLivesHere  (22-12-2014),MissMuppet  (22-12-2014),snowqu33n  (22-12-2014),tubster  (22-12-2014),VicPark  (22-12-2014),Whirligig  (22-12-2014),~ElectricPink~  (22-12-2014)

  9. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    390
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    107
    Reviews
    0
    I agree that he may be on the spectrum, you have described my nephew to a tee. We had to deal with a similar situation and it was me who bought it up with my sil. I have no qualms in speaking up when it comes to my children, you need to be the voice for them as a 2 year old cant express themselves properly. This boy needs to learn personal boundaries and allow your dd her space. Please speak up for your daughter. Im not saying he will do anything to your dd but I know from personal experience that sometimes when something doesnt seem right there is a possibility it is not. 11 year old boys can do innapropriate things, I learnt that the hard way.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LilMuffin For This Useful Post:

    tubster  (22-12-2014),VicPark  (22-12-2014)

  11. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,061
    Thanks
    915
    Thanked
    664
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    From what you've described it sounds like he may have a bit of a hard time connecting with others, and it sounds like your DD is generally pretty happy to interact with him, until he goes overboard with the cuddling. It could just be that he is really happy to have someone interact with him, so has 'latched on' to her.

    But always, always trust your gut instinct and if something doesn't sit right about it, then you're right in either addressing it or avoiding putting your DD in that situation.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to littlelove For This Useful Post:

    tubster  (22-12-2014),~ElectricPink~  (22-12-2014)

  13. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Newcastle
    Posts
    2,287
    Thanks
    967
    Thanked
    936
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    As PP have said go with your gut. I have seen a book you can buy that might help with talking to your DD http://www.fpq.com.au/publications/t...t_a_bottom.php

    I don't have it but it looks like it could be a good addition to any child's bookshelf
    Last edited by WiseOldOwl; 22-12-2014 at 06:38.

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to WiseOldOwl For This Useful Post:

    Redcorset  (22-12-2014),tubster  (22-12-2014)

  15. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,870
    Thanks
    3,034
    Thanked
    5,843
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I would be uncomfortable seeing my child in that situation. He sounds far too clingy to your DD - even if his intentions aren't sinister, it's overbearing behaviour and I'm sure your DD would appreciate some breathing space from this boy.

    Good luck with your talk with SIL.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Degrassi For This Useful Post:

    BettyW  (22-12-2014),tubster  (22-12-2014)

  17. #20
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I would speak up. Regardless of his intentions you snd your DD are uncomfortable with it and he snd his parents need to know. I would be upfront with the parents first and then just say directly "DD is not sitting on your lap" and re-direct him.

    My sister had a young boy infatuated with her when she was little it was annoying and eventually quite frightening for her.

    Be direct on this one.

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to babyla For This Useful Post:

    tubster  (22-12-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. 25 weeks, in pain and uncomfortable
    By webby in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 28-06-2014, 10:51
  2. Uncomfortable with DHs relationship
    By MissusMac in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 16-06-2014, 21:25

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pebblebee
Parents spend hours looking for things they need NOW. The keys, the remote, darling daughter's treasured teddy. Stop wasting precious time looking & start finding with Bub Hub reviewed Pebblebee Smart Tag. Simply attach a Pebblebee and find it fast.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Transition into Parenthood / Calmbirth Sydney
Julie's Transition into Parenthood and Calmbirth courses for pregnant couples will get you ready, prepared and organised for the wonderful birth of your beautiful new baby. Birth Support Doula training provided in 2017 open to all. Call 0401 265 530
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!